How to Tame the Stress Monster

You bury your head in your hands. You'd really like to run screaming from your cubicle, but for one, that would get you instantly fired, for two, your shoes are definitely not made for running. But the stress! Not only does your job stress you out, but there's your family, friends, chores, errands, social media to keep up with - AARGH! It's enough to make a grown man/woman weep.

So off you go to yoga/pilates (how to make the time for that is yet another stressor), or meditation class, or get up an hour earlier to run, anything to relieve the tension that seems to invade your every waking moment. I take that back - your every moment - because getting a good night's sleep is a rarity, and even in your dreams it seems you're stressed.

You think "Wouldn't it be great to be a trust fund baby, or be able to take early retirement? Anything so I could just sit on a beach, drink pina coladas, and enjoy the view the rest of my days, stress free." Well, not so much. I don't know of any studies on trust fund babies, but certainly the studies on who's happiest in retirement show that those who retire into "sit on the beach" mode end up dying but a few years later. Whereas those who retire from a job, find interests that stimulate them and are busier than ever, end up thriving and living long happy lives.

So it's not really stress that's the culprit, it's how you look at it, and how you respond to it. Basically, stress is nothing more than stimulation, and as the studies on retirees who thrive show, you need stimulation in order to stay alive - mentally, physically and emotionally.

Stimulation is a good thing! Too much of it is a bad thing. And that's generally what we're referring to when we cry out, "I'm stressed!!" When you're feeling "stressed" what's really happening is you're overwhelmed with too much stimulation from the outside world.

Why does that matter? Because there's a world of difference between how you can deal with being overwhelmed by the situations in your life versus being "stressed." "Stressed" is an emotional response to a situation. So you look for ways to soothe your painful emotions: thus the yoga/pilates, meditation, running and so forth. All of which are great and supportive of your overall health and well-being, but may not do much to alleviate what's actually overwhelming you.

The first thing to do when you're feeling "I'm stressed!!" is to take a deep breath, and ask yourself, "What's overwhelming me?" "Everything!" is not a helpful answer. Break it down into specifics. Because it's only by looking at the specifics of the situations stressing you out that you can deal with them; undo, if you will, the overwhelm.

Secondly, check your boundaries. Most overwhelm comes out of our failure to set good boundaries. Whether it's letting your boss know that you're happy to do overtime one day a week but not more, or informing your kids that you will no longer be cleaning their bathrooms - they're old enough to do it themselves and here's how, or telling your S.O. that you appreciate his/her respecting that 15 minutes of quiet you need upon coming home before launching into the evening drill, all these are ways of setting boundaries and reducing overwhelm.

Thirdly, prioritize. Determine what's the most important thing you want to accomplish in your job, with your relationship, your friends, your family, yourself! Then schedule your time first and foremost around that most important thing, and stick to it. Let everything else take second, third, fourth place - and if need be, eliminate some activities altogether. Nowhere is it written that if you don't update your Facebook page every day, life as you know it is over. Try once a week, or once a month, whatever fits. Maybe your top relationship priority is your weekly date night. Great! Don't let anything get in the way of it, and "date" with gusto.

It's all about taking charge of your life. About allowing the stimulation that feels good to you, while actively, proactively, setting boundaries and prioritizing such that you don't take on more stimulation than is right for you, and as a result, spiral down into overwhelm.

Anytime you feel that "I'm stressed!" emotion creeping up on you, stop! Remember it's but an emotional response, and you can greatly diminish your stress by dealing directly with the situations that birthed that emotion.

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3 Stress-Causing Myths You Probably Believe

What if you knew that most, if not all, of the stress and overwhelm you feel is the result of believing in things that aren't true? What if the myths you believe cause you unnecessary struggle?

In this article, we'll explore three false assumptions that most of us live by and simple ways to overcome them all. In the end, you'll discover that you have inherent capacities that are much greater than you might think!

1. The Myth of Being Yourself

Consciously and subconsciously, you subscribe to certain ideas about "who we are." This may include roles you play, physical characteristics, or character traits. "You" may also include thoughts, feelings, beliefs, preferences, and things you do. You have a sense of yourself as being, more or less, a conglomeration of all these things.

It's also likely that you have an idea about who you "should be." This is based on what's acceptable in your family and your culture or on the potential you have to be "something." You are supposed to become something specific, stable, and definable, so you and others know exactly "who you are."

Yet, what if "who you are" is actually something fundamentally different than all of that? Something much less defined and more open, clear, and spacious? What if trying to be "something" is not only inaccurate to who you really are, but it is also a major cause of unnecessary stress? What might happen if you could let that go?

2. The Myth That Life Should Be Different

Just as you have ideas about who you should be, you have ideas about how life should be. What if thinking life "should be a certain way" dramatically escalates the stress you feel?

You can test this out for yourself the next time you feel stressed out. Simply ask yourself, "How am I thinking things should be?"

For example, if you are running late, stuck in a traffic jam, and feeling your anger and frustration building, what if you paused and asked "How am I thinking things should be?"

You might come up with thoughts like "These people should be moving faster. Or, I should have left sooner." The more you think that things should be different than they are, the more stress you feel.

Now, what if you turned those thoughts around. What if you listed all the reasons for why things should be exactly the way they are?

"It's Monday morning, it's 7:30am, and everyone is going to work. This is a highly-desirable place to live and more people are on the road. This road is the most direct route into the city. Actually, given all of that, traffic should be this way.

I was up late last night getting that project done. I slept in to get a little more rest. I wanted to take time to make breakfast for my family. Actually, given all of that, I should have left exactly when I did."

Now you might think, "Those are just excuses."

Yet, what if, instead, it is just being real about "what is actually happening," rather than thinking that it should be different? What if completely accepting "what is" releases stress and puts you in the best position to take effective action? You may or may not "do better next time," but what really matters is what you do now.

3. The Myth of a Predictable Future

We generally believe in an oversimplified view of cause and effect. If we do certain things, other things are sure to happen. If we work hard, we'll be successful. If we do the right thing, we'll be rewarded. Good things happen to good people.

Yet, how many times have you worked hard at something and not been successful? How many times have you done the right thing and not gotten the reward? How many times do "bad things" happen to "good people"?

We tend to over-simplify things. In reality, causality is infinitely complex and the future has many possible outcomes.

For example, why was our son Will born 4 months prematurely? Was it the genetic shape of my wife's uterus? The way her doctor did an internal exam? Something my wife did or didn't do? Was it the weather, the altitude, or the alignment of the planets? Was it Will's destiny to battle for his life? Was this really a blessing in disguise? Why did Will survive, when over 90 percent of those born at that age didn't? Why was Will eventually relatively healthy when most of the few who survived weren't?

Causality is complex. The future is unknown.

What if you do all the right things and still get cancer? What if you do all the right things and still don't get the job? What if you do all the right things and still get in an accident?

In real life, how often do things happen differently than you expected, planned, or thought they should?

What if you were O.K. with that? What if it led you to a deeper truth?

What if you were able to accept, embrace, and appreciate that you don't fit in any box, life shouldn't be different than it is, and the future is unknown? What if those insights released your stress and enabled you to relax and work with what is actually happening now?

And, what if letting go of those false assumptions gives you an amazing feeling of freedom? In that freedom, you are able to connect with a deeper, underlying, inherent Goodness that is a sure guide in all situations? What if, underneath it all, you are a pure Loving Presence who knows exactly what to do?

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How Do You Turn a Breakdown to a Breakthrough?

We all have highs and lows in our life. It is with the low times that we most struggle and sometimes do not have the strength to go on. The trick is to turn every breakdown you face to a breakthrough. How do you do that? Read on to find out.

Here are a few tips that you could implement in life for a breakthrough in your problems:

1) Always focus on the positive

Almost every breakdown has an upside. Try to find it and focus on it. Focusing on positivity will reduce the size of your problem. Also look for the gifts the disadvantageous situation has to offer. More often than not, this way you will eventually overcome the breakdown.

2) Bear with the breakdown

Stay with your uncomfortable situation. Time heals everything. And things do not always stay the same. Time brings change and shifts to better things.

3) Share your woes

Ventilating out your woes with someone you trust deeply makes you lighter and eases your mind, putting you in a situation to handle your problems bravely and skillfully so that you finally get a breakthrough.

4) Journal your worries

If you don't like sharing your worries with anyone, journal them constantly in a journal book and keep it handy all the time and note down everything that comes to your mind including your anxieties. In the process, who knows, you may hit on something solid, leading you to a breakthrough.

5) Believe in the power of prayers

Saying your prayers and reciting the Holy Book are powerful tools in a crisis. But you have to believe in what you are asking for while you pray and recite and only then you almost always get it.

6) Invest yourself in self-help books and programs

These are very educational and the techniques and ways out they teach boost your self esteem and vigor and at the same time, help you to solve your problems.

7) Get help from a professional coach

A professional coach in the appropriate area may be the answer to your problem that is looming over and overwhelming you. Getting in touch with such a coach may help to give you the required breakthrough.

Summing up, the above tips are some of the ways I would suggest that could help you turn around a horrifying breakdown to a pleasant breakthrough. Pick one or two and apply and see how they work for you. Chances are you will benefit because I myself utilize many of them in real life, giving me relief, making me stress-free and eventually wiping out my overwhelm.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Do-You-Turn-a-Breakdown-to-a-Breakthrough?&id=9389993

Cut Deadline Overwhelm With These Simple Steps

Got deadline overwhelm?

When you need to complete a project on a tight deadline or when you're running late and out of time, getting the work done can seem nearly impossible. You can't imagine how you're ever going to complete the work in time. It can also be really stressful. It doesn't matter if the deadline is self-imposed or issued by someone else. Sometimes our own personal deadlines can seem unrealistic once we get started. But surely, it can be done.

With just a few steps, you can turn a seemingly impossible project into a doable one. Here's how to beat deadline overwhelm:

Map out your project. When you break a large project into small tasks, suddenly the project doesn't seem so daunting. You start to think it really is possible to complete the work on time.

Instead of thinking of a big project and how little time you have to complete it, divide out the work per day.

For instance, if I want to read a book in one week, I'll take the total page count and divide it by seven days. Then I'll write the page milestones for the seven days on a sticky note at the back of the book. That way, I focus on each day's goal or milestone. As I get through the reading, I cross off each milestone. It's a great morale booster because I can see that if I've kept up with the reading, by the end of Thursday, I only have two more milestones left to reach the end of the book.

If you want to write a novel in a month or six weeks, break down the project into daily and weekly goals. That's how NaNoWriMoers have been writing novels since 1999!

Once you've figured out what your daily and weekly milestones are, your next step is to make sure you actually do the work. Setting a goal won't help you accomplish it if you don't take action.

Sometimes getting a jump start and putting a lot of time into it right away can help you get ahead. If you're able to do that, keep working on it daily so you don't fall off the wagon after you realize you're so far ahead and think you can take the next two days off. That's where you can get into trouble. Taking time off can throw you off course and keep you from getting back into it after the break. Getting into the habit or routine is a must if you're going to stick with it to the finish line.

Remember, you'll settle for what is comfortable if you allow it. If you can get into the habit of writing (or whatever your activity is) every day, even for just 15 minutes, it will start to become second nature to you.

Break down the goal by the day, then set yourself a time limit so you're not taking up the whole day when it could really only take 15 minutes.

When we start to work toward our dreams and goals, we open new doors of opportunity. You never know which doors will open!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Cut-Deadline-Overwhelm-With-These-Simple-Steps&id=9455865

Break It Down and Get It Done

Ever have one of those days when there are lots of things you know you should be doing but you just can't seem to move forward on any of them? Me too - especially during non-winter months, when I'd rather be outside than doing any of the many things it takes to run my business. Here are some ideas to make moving forward easier and help you achieve more success in getting things done.

Just as mosaics are made up of individual tiles, projects are made up of individual tasks. The first step in moving projects forward is identifying the (sometimes many) discrete steps - the tiles, so to speak - that will lead to completion. This will give you a clear, specific activity to focus on, and eliminate (or at least minimize) the overwhelm you may otherwise feel when you focus only on the entire mosaic.

For example, let's say you want to create a budget. No matter how worthwhile this endeavor may be, it can seem overwhelming in its enormity and the number of hours it will take to complete. Breaking it down into bite-size pieces, or even smaller nibbles, can be the key to taking action. Here are some possibilities:

· Pull receipts from wallet

· Find envelope of last month's receipts

· Sort receipts by category (groceries, dining out, clothes, etc.)

· Add up expenditures by category

· Etc.

You'll notice that each item listed is a distinct action, a stand-alone step. You'll also note that some of these steps can be done quickly, while others may take quite some time - assigning time estimates to each task will let you know how much time you'll want to have available before starting. Or, it can alert you to the fact that it may take several sessions to finish a single step.

The beauty of this approach is that you'll know exactly what you need to do and approximately how long it will take. This clarity will allow you to choose what you're in the mood for and/or what you have time for. Alternatively, you may choose to work on something for a certain amount of time per session (e.g., in 30-minute chunks) until you complete it. Whether you work on tasks until they're completed, or chip away for set amounts of time, you'll certainly experience more success moving things forward when you follow the method of breaking things down.

I'd love to hear what projects you're trying to tackle, and how you manage to break them down to move them forward.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Break-It-Down-and-Get-It-Done&id=9510790

Simple Technique to Instantly Clear Your Mind!

Do you suffer from brain fog, which makes it hard to think clearly, much less to make good decisions? Does the stress of life these days wrap around you like a scratchy wool blanket, suffocating you in an uncomfortable overheated state that makes it impossible to relax? Do you find your mind so cluttered with "To Dos" and "Should Dos" that you just want to escape from it all?

What if your brain is equipped with a special zone where you can go to discover an open, spacious, calm clarity? I'm not talking about going to an imaginary "happy place," though there certainly can be merit in that, too. What I'm talking about is an area in your brain designed to help you let go of stress, clear your mental clutter, and feel refreshed and renewed.

What if I told you that the center of your brain is just such a place?

Deep in the center of your brain, at a point midway between your ears, straight down from the top of your head, and halfway between the center of your forehead and the base of your skull, sits your upper dantian. Your upper dantian or "mind center" is an energy center you can enter and activate to instantly let go of over-thinking and rest in calm clarity.

Why the center of your brain?

First off, because there's no thought there. It's an area related to sensation and feeling, not thinking. Second, your upper dantian is in the neighborhood of your brain stem which regulates your heart-rate and respiration and your limbic brain which regulates your emotions. Because of those structures and functions, focusing into quiet stillness in the center of your brain has a calming effect on your heart-rate, breathing, brainwave activity, and emotional state-as well as a clearing effect on your mind.

Never heard of this spot? Skeptical?

You can check it out for yourself. It's really quite simple.

If you would like to try it now, lightly close your eyes, and take a couple slow, deep breaths. Then, focus your attention into the center of your brain.

Imagine there is a cool, light blue, sphere of energy there. Imagine inside that sphere is a soothing stillness and an open clear spaciousness. Spend a few moments resting there, enjoying that calm spacious stillness. Record that feeling, so you can remember it and return to it whenever you need.

Then, if you'd like to expand that sensation, imagine that calm, quiet, spacious clarity spreading out through your whole brain and then your whole body. Soak in that sensation and really enjoy it.

So, how did that feel?

If you didn't try it, I encourage you to give it a sincere effort. This is a technique I've used in meditation and in countless moments of stress and overwhelm to calm and clear my mind. I've used it in traffic, before presentations, and during heated confrontations. After practicing it often, it's become a reliable cue I can use anytime I need it.

My wife is a singer who has used this technique before and during big performances, such as singing the National Anthem before 50,000 people. She swears by it and has taught it to singing students for years. We have also discovered that this mind center is a gateway to deeper spiritual experiences and intuitive guidance.

Would you like to clear your mind of worry, mental chatter, stress, and overwhelm?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Simple-Technique-to-Instantly-Clear-Your-Mind!&id=9453708

A Tool to Remain Neutral: The Landing Pad

When you learn how to remain neutral, you easily align with others and create win-win relationships. Practicing neutrality by remembering your strengths and positive behaviors will expand your horizons and enable you to discover more effective ways of dealing with potentially uncomfortable situations.

Imagine the following scenario:

You receive an email from one of your colleagues - let's say her name is Amanda. Her email is long and dramatic, detailing how she has had a rough weekend. Her father is in the hospital so she hasn't had much sleep and is behind on a project that you are both involved in. She's requesting that you take up some slack for her on the project. You've heard stories that she has a lot of drama in her life and that she has a tendency to pull others into her dramas, causing them to get lost in the overwhelming emotion. Instead of helping Amanda, her empathetic colleagues and friends mean well, but they end up getting pulled down by the emotions of her story. Because of the drama pattern she tends to fuel, no one gets much done and people around her are affected by her sense of overwhelm.

Think about what you should do in this scenario.

Can you be an empathetic, caring person but not get emotionally drained by Amanda's problems? Yes, you can! There are certain philosophies that teach us how to cope and process emotions by being a "neutral witness" to a situation. This is achieved by becoming and remaining neutral to potentially emotionally draining situations. Instead of getting personally involved you practice not getting emotional in the situation. This will help prevent the situation from sapping your emotional energy.

We will practice one of these neutrality tools now.

Visualization Exercise:

Imagine that you are reading the dramatic and emotional email from Amanda.

• What emotions come up for you? For example: sadness, stress, irritation.

• Give your emotions a color and/or a shape. For this example, pretend that they are fiery red fishing hooks that are shooting towards you, trying to pull you into the story.

• Instead of letting the hooks land on you, imagine that you have a landing pad in front of you, a neutral place for the emotional hooks to land. This will prevent you from internalizing the situation and becoming emotionally invested in it. You can empathize with Amanda and take the role of a colleague or friend who understands that we all experience good times and difficult ones.

• However, you can keep Amanda's situation and emotions external to you. In doing this, you are practicing neutrality; this will enable you to make clear, logical decisions about the best course of action for both you and Amanda.

Spend a few more moments imagining you are reading Amanda's email, and "watch" or sense the emotional hooks landing on the pad in front of you. Move the landing pad out so it is about a foot in front of you. Then after you've finished reading the email and you have all the drama and hooks on your landing pad, move the landing pad further away from you, into an empty place, and let it float away. Imagine that it disappears into thin air, or gets washed away to the sea, or some other image that helps you to clear it out of your mind and free up your mental space.

• Then imagine saying "hello" to Amanda wherever she is now. Take a few moments to imagine that you are talking to her and acknowledging that her situation must be quite difficult; say whatever else you want to communicate to her.

• Now imagine you say "goodbye" to her and say whatever you need to say so that you are able to let it go. You can use this process for any emotion-provoking situation that comes up in your life; it's especially useful for dealing with emails like this.

To help build and strengthen your neutrality skills, ask yourself the following questions.

1. Is it your responsibility to solve Amanda's problems?
2. Should this be your role?
3. What is one way you could be empathetic but neutral for Amanda? (Hint: the exercise above.)
4. What is best for you and what is best for Amanda?
5. If you tend to get very emotional in others' situations, why do you think that is?

Use the "landing-pad" imagery technique and these questions any time you feel you're in danger of internalizing someone else's problems.

This way you'll be able to empathize with situations like Amanda's, while remaining neutral enough to help support her in more useful ways that don't cause excessive drama.

http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Tool-to-Remain-Neutral:-The-Landing-Pad&id=9405293

Work Stress - Dealing With An Overwhelming To-Do List One Task At A Time

Many of us experience overwhelm in our lives. The good news is that it can be overcome. One of the ways in which we can do this is to become aware of how we focus our attention.

Many of us use a to-do list. The master list of everything we have committed ourselves to accomplishing. Dr Pedram Shojai, former Taoist monk and doctor of Chinese medicine, talks about us having numerous windows open on the desktop of our lives.

However, how we interact with the to-do list (those open windows) can go some way to determining the extent to which we feel overwhelmed.

Looking at the whole list can do one of two things:

A) It can freak us out because we are thinking we have no idea how we're going to complete all the items on the list, or

B) We see each item on the list in its own right, we know why it's on the list, we've established that it's our task and no-one else's (it can't be delegated) and we have some notion that we can deal with it successfully

Overwhelm can come about when we are in state A, and as a result we're becoming stressed out about the length of the list.

Overwhelm can be eased by:

Prioritising the list, starting from the top and dealing, with full focus, with one task at a time. This, by default, means that you are putting down (actively de-prioritising) all the other tasks on your list until you've completed the one at hand. This may sound simple, but it is profound. The reason? All we have is now, this present moment, and the more focused we are the more effectively we work.

We become anxious and overwhelmed when we are engaged in one task but thinking about all the others we have yet to complete. This dissipates our focus and dilutes our effectiveness. As a result, tasks take longer to complete because we are not 100% engaged.

We also tend to switch between tasks. This may feel like a better use of our time but our focus becomes compromised. When we're interrupted we find it difficult to get back on track if we're focused on two or more tasks, and in the end the tasks simply take us longer to complete.

So when you're faced with an overwhelming to-do list, take the time to prioritise it, start from the top, work your way down and ensure you focus on one task at a time.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Work-Stress---Dealing-With-An-Overwhelming-To-Do-List-One-Task-At-A-Time&id=9354996