3 Things We Cannot Change In Life And How To Deal With Them

 

An Inconvenience Or A Real Problem?

There are many things in life we cannot change or control, which can be seen as a problem or an opportunity. We've seen this recently with the Coronavirus pandemic that showed how powerless we are. At the time of writing this, many countries throughout Europe and India are facing difficulties, with a growing number of cases and deaths. I don't wish to emphasise the problems in the world but help you make sense of them. Change weaves itself throughout life, and sometimes it can improve our life or disrupt it. I'm certain you've experienced changes throughout your life to know how unsettling it can be.

But how do we deal with situations we cannot change? It lies in our ability to adapt to it rather than control conditions. For example, if you've been laid off work because of the pandemic, you might be upset and angry. You have every right to feel this way, and you mustn't deny your emotions. But if we think on a larger scale, losing one's job is a minor trouble compared to someone losing a loved one due to Covid-19.

By reassessing our situation, we can zoom out of our life and understand that whilst our situation is difficult, it is not the end of the world. We may decide to upskill through further education and find work in other areas. But losing a loved one to an illness is tragic and there is nothing we can do. So, when we think we cannot change a situation, we ought to ask ourselves whether it is an inconvenience or a real problem? This helps us gain perspective, knowing there are others in the world experiencing more difficulties. With this in mind, here are three things we cannot change in life but deal with more effectively.

Change Your Perspective

1.  How Other People Treat You

We cannot control how other people treat us, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. If we judge life based on whether it is fair or unfair, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Life is doing its job of expanding, based on universal laws and principles. If others treat us unfairly, it is an opportunity to look within ourselves and change our response. In this context, response means whether we feel victimised or whether we use the experience to become more resilient.

It's a given, people will mistreat us intentionally or sometimes unintentionally. It is my professional experience that how a person treats you is not indicative of you, but what is going on inside of them. You've probably heard the saying: "hurt people, hurt people?" Meaning those who are wounded or suffer trauma cast their wounds onto others because of the pain associated in dealing with it.

If a person treats you unfairly, they are likely suffering a deep pain themselves. So how do you deal with people like this? It involves knowing your true worth and standing in your own power. It means recognising the other person's motives and to the degree you are ready and willing, forgive them for their wrongs. Similarly, it helps to set up boundaries and distance yourself from them, if you can. Is this something you're willing to try? Yes, I agree it is difficult but you're not doing it for them but to ease your pain and suffering, which is more important.

2.  Sometimes, Things Go Wrong

Sometimes, life takes an unexpected turn when we least expect it. People let us down. We lose possessions or people of importance to us. Our lives change suddenly, and we experience frustration, anger, and disappointment. It's natural to feel this way, but when things go wrong, rather than follow your problems, try to look for a solution. If we focus on our problems, they become expanded in our consciousness and we cannot find a solution. This is what Albert Einstein meant when he said: "We cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it in the first instance." Our problems cannot be solved with the same mind that created them.

So, when things go wrong, avoid dwelling on your problems, but change your perspective and look for the opportunity contained within it. For example, I'm re-reading a wonderful book called: The Art of Learning by the American chess champion, Josh Waitzkin. In one chapter, he tells a story of when he was playing international chess against the Russians. They would repeatedly disrupt his concentration during matches, such as kicking him under the table, making noises or leaving the playing table unexpectedly. Eventually, he learned to harness the distractions and improve his resiliency and become an unstoppable champion. It's about using your problems to your advantage, instead of getting swept up by them.

3.  Life Is Not Personal But Predictable

I've written in earlier articles that life is not personal but predictable. It doesn't have an agenda to hurt anyone because life is not separate from us. We are the embodiment of life and when we understand this, we gain the power to improve our circumstances. Life is predictable to the degree that our experiences hold pivotal lessons for our growth. Things will happen that you did not expect or cannot control. Naturally, you will get upset, angry and feel powerless. But this is when your unseen power emerges to respond to what is taking place. It is your response that determines whether you suffer or change your perspective.

No one wants to suffer because pain is difficult. Therefore, we have choices, and sometimes they aren't necessarily obvious. Naturally, we want to remove the problem causing us pain, but it may not always be possible. The only thing we can control is our attitude and our response. So, when difficulties show up and you cannot control or change it, see if you can change your perspective. It won't be easy and will require exploring deep within you to change your perspective. It will require stepping out of your comfort to change how you respond to what is taking place.

https://ezinearticles.com/?3-Things-We-Cannot-Change-In-Life-And-How-To-Deal-With-Them&id=10460413

Message From the Universe: Feeling of Being AWESOME

"Awesomeness" is that invisible yet naturally occurring substance that churns within all humanity, all consciousness, animate and inanimate, here and beyond time and space, that tirelessly expands, smothering and blighting all negativity, constantly redefining possible, crackling in goodness, bristling in love, low in calories, high in flavor, rich in laughter, otherwise known as the "it quality," frequently seen flowing unrestrained in the embodiment of a certain individual, of Schenectady, planet Earth, circa 20th century and beyond.

Yours is showing, 

The Universe"

So, do you feel awesome now? You must be. Remember that it is not all OR nothing, it can be just a little bit of this and little bit of that. Most humans are looking for the EVERYTHING to make themselves happy. They refuse to accept what comes their way because it is never enough. You are right about that. It will NEVER be just enough. Ambition plays the same role. There is NEVER any limit to your ambition, and it will act sometimes against you. In the grand scheme of things, when you look at your potential and determine that you can go further, longer, stronger and being unstoppable, you feel you can accomplish everything you want out of life and that you won't accept anything less during your journey. Unfortunately for you, life do not work this way. Change your perspective before it changes you in the wrong way. Looking to be a better person is one thing but feeling entitled that you should expect ONLY the best from yourself is a crime to you and humanity.

We all have our faults. No one is perfect and never think that you are. If you want to adopt a humble approach and be grateful for everything you have in life, then go for it. That will bring you back down to our dear planet Earth and make you realize that you are a simple human being. You are no different than anyone else. You have a heart, lungs, brain, limbs and everything else for proper functioning but that's about it. Once you start realizing that life, as you expect it to be, will not bend itself backward to make you happy. You are the one who will bend itself to adapt to the changes that life throws at you. If you can learn to accomplish that simple task in your life, I can promise you that from this day forward, you will see positive changes and will want to help others do the same. There is so much more about life than material assets and living it to its fullest is something that every single 7.1 billion people on earth should learn how to do.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Feeling-of-Being-AWESOME&id=9664269

Reasons To Consider The Law of Attraction

There are a lot of hurdles that can cause you to stumble through life. Millions of people are having a hard time navigating through the many different challenges that are in front of them. If you are having a hard time going through things, you are not alone. There's a lot of elements that could cause you to lose sight of your forward progress. To offset that, you could look into the Law of Attraction. In fact, there are some really distinct reasons why this is a good thing for anyone to test out. Whether you are a religious, or spiritual person, this could very well change the way that you see the future. Even if you're not much for believing in a lot of elements of religious thinking, this is a law that could change your perspective forever. Consider a few reasons why you should work with this option moving forward.

Creating Positive Change

First and foremost, you're going to be able to manifest a complete change for your life. You're going to find that the keys to success in life is not necessarily found in negativity. Negativity reigns a lot online and in real life. If you can cast that aside, you would feel a lot better about yourself and about the world around you. However, to get there, you're going to need to declutter things a bit. Creating positive change is not an easy task, but it's something that you can learn over time. Once you do this, you'll find that positivity will bring through a well of options that are positive in all things.

Financial Stability

Living paycheck to paycheck is a difficult task. However, it is not something that you have to deal with forever. Financial stability is something that can be harnessed through the Law of Attraction. As you learn what works for you, you can pursue things that make you happy. It goes back to the notion of loving what you do. If you truly were in love with what you did for work, you would no doubt feel the amazing euphoria that comes with financial stability, because you would not feel like you're working.

Better Health

For those that are dealing with health issues, this law can help you with finding new ways of healing the body and mind. It goes with the old adage of, "laughter is the best medicine", and it truly works on many levels. Natural elements are the distinct advantage that many people focus on in regards to the world of attraction. If you can naturally change your life, wouldn't you? That's the thing. Most people will, and guess what? You can do it too if you focus on the right components.

Overall, the best things in life are free. You can harness the energy that comes from your soul and push it out into the world to attract great things. However, you have to start with learning the right ways to pursue it. As long as you love your life, and you help usher in new positive things, you'll be on the right track.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Reasons-To-Consider-The-Law-of-Attraction&id=9398399

How to Be Emotionally and Mentally Strong

Do you lose your mind when chaos or grief sets in? Can you control yourself and bring yourself back to life without feeling out of nuts? Can you be emotionally and mentally stable? This article focuses on the answers to these. Do read on.

First of all, when an accident or disaster happens or you grieve over something, shift your mindset to a happier state. What has happened - if you can change it, go for it or if you can't, accept it and carry on with your life. Of course if you break down emotionally or your mental strength fails you, do grieve and weep. But no one likes you that way if you prolong it. Do grieve for a short while and pull yourself back to routine life no matter how hard things are.

Try to sing in your hard times or put on light music as you work on your own stuff. Life should turn towards the better. No one has the full-time to coax you or help you out. Everyone is busy with their own lives. But if you ask for help which you need for example, giving you company or consoling you for a short while, they will. But helping yourself and figuring out what works best for you, you should be able to change your perspective and shift your mind to a more positive note. An easy way to do this is to focus on a past triumph, achievement or any happy occurrence and while you focus and shift to the positive state, tell yourself that you are capable of more.

Gather up your courage, raise your confidence and boost your mind. There is no need to lose hope. Yes, you can be emotionally and mentally strong. Time will help because with time you are able to let go of your not so good moments and concentrate on a much better present, walking yourself boldly into the future.

If you are still having difficulty with mind shift and keeping yourself under control, write down all your fears and worries. Then read them. What is bothering you or causing you worry or fear? Confront them and share with a reliable friend or relative. That should definitely work out. You let your life fall together and be emotionally and mentally strong again.

Yes, it is possible to get back the mojo of life and step into a hopeful present and step forward towards a bright future. It's all in your mind. Just tap into it in a way it works.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Emotionally-and-Mentally-Strong&id=9584571

9 Ways to Be Content in the Midst of Frustration

“Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.” – Bo Bennett

What would you rather prefer: frustration with things you have control over, or frustration with those you don’t?

That question may not even be useful, because in the end, frustration will always be a terrible feeling. Worse, you may not know when a frustration—big or small—will finally end.

Whether at ourselves or at external forces that keep distracting us, we simply get frustrated. It happens in one way or another, every day. Giving in to it may mean trouble, especially if this kind of feeling only seems to pile up over time.

So, how do you become content anyway?

1. Accept reality.

Accept things as they are. In reality, frustration only happens if you allow it to. Remember, like any other sorts of feelings, frustration is out of how you perceive your circumstances.

This, however, doesn’t mean you should just allow frustrating events to happen. Such events still happen whether you expect them to, no matter how you respond to them.

For example, you want to perfect a skill. You’ve been working for it for months. But you feel that it’s still so far from being satisfactory even.

Accept it. Just accept reality. It’s simply the way it is.

Continue to do your best but don’t let frustration rule you.

Perhaps you only love the pace. Perhaps you only need more time. That’s it.

2. Keep learning.

You will, by all odds, learn a lot of things in the midst of frustration.

You’ll discover what you really want to do, and out of frustration you’ll start looking for solutions that may not always be apparent but are effective specifically for the problems you’re going to tackle.

You’ll realize how distractions can become a real hindrance, and will start eliminating them, eliminating all the “noise.”

When you change your perspective, you’ll understand that frustrations aren’t actually meant to bring you down, but are rather solid opportunities for you to hone your creativity, attention to detail and courage.

Being content is knowing you’re being responsible for your well-being—by keeping the desire to learn burning.

3. Practice gratitude—every time.

Frustration, like adversity, is something you should be thankful for—it generally makes you wiser and stronger.

Moreover, psychologists report that people who practice gratitude develop patience. These people may be able to delay immediate gratification for a greater reward after.

Gratitude nourishes inner joy, the constant joy you experience even when you’re alone, even when things aren’t going as planned. And this joy can be contagious. You become content as a person, and your loved ones and friends who see you will most probably feel that joy, too.

There’s no reason not to be grateful, even during the most frustrating times.

Remember, your whole life does not consist of frustrating events only.

4. Stop the negativity in your head.

Yes, you’re surrounded by frustration. And it could be too much to handle.

Do yourself a favor by not engaging in negative self-talk. Arguably, most of your frustrations are a result of your actions. But don’t react negatively to the already-negative situations you get caught in. Instead, look for the brighter side.

If you used to say, “I can’t do it,” change it to “I’ll do my best!” Change “Things will remain the same, anyway,” to “Small achievements are going to take place!”

Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame others.

Contentment is about looking for something positive among the sea of negativity. The best part is, there’s always—always—going to be something positive.

5. Develop meaningful relationships—with the right people.

Choose the people who you hang out with and who you’d like to develop deep relationships with.

Everybody has their own frustration baggage, but choose people who’d rather have a positive outlook in general.

Nurture these relationships as you will learn from them, as much as they’ll learn from you. You could start being accountable for one another, promoting contentment even if frustration continues to hang around everywhere.

Frustration simply means you have to think of workarounds as you look for the best solutions to your issues—true contentment means you are happy despite doing that.

There are people who’d also like to be content—and share their life with you. You’d be better off in their company than in others’.

6. Reward yourself for your efforts.

Frustrations are unsuccessful attempts—yet.

Don’t wait for the desired results before you celebrate. If you did that, you might only get more and more frustrated, which could burn you out.

Don’t focus on the results. Focus—and be proud of—the efforts you are putting in to make things happen.

Be proud that even if you’re going to be frustrated tomorrow, or next week, or next year, you continue to raise the bar for yourself. You may even be surprised to have reached success one day, as if it were easy—when the truth is you only got better every time, because you chose to.

7. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself; you may only get overwhelmed. If you handle frustrations the wrong way, you encourage more stress, less efficiency and less productivity.

Be thankful for what you already have, for what you’ve already accomplished, for the progress you are making.

Get perspective—something you don’t usually think of. Think that your current situation could be worse you could have no other options. But hey, you are able to find other ways to deal with your frustrations, and yes, you can do them!

Love and respect yourself. There’s no point attaining all the success in the world if you don’t take care of yourself in the first place.

8. Complain—with this right reason.

The only time you should complain is when complaining means pushing a solution to a problem. Otherwise, you only vent out negativity, which you pass on to the person you talk to. Venting out complaints could be healthy, but why not just do it to address your frustrations straightaway?

Complain about your bad habits to a trusted friend who can give you solid advice without reservations. Complain to your neighbors who just won’t put the volume down past midnight. Complain to a family member who doesn’t want to cooperate.

Complaining this way could be hard, but like other hard things in life, it’s actually for the better.

You’ll be content recognizing you are able to voice out your opinions, especially when they’re needed.

9. This too shall pass.

Believe it.

Frustrations are not forever. If they were, they’d eventually become smaller and smaller anyway, until you wouldn’t notice them.

That is going to be case, especially if you untiringly apply the previous tips above.

Stand your ground, and don’t give up. It will be difficult, but the principle could be that simple.

Just think about your present situation. If you’ve been applying the previous tips, do you think your frustrations are still as strong as before? That’s right, some of them could even be nothing more than an amusing memory.

Be content with your life starting right now, by accepting that so many things—including your frustrations—will come to an end.

Think About It

Being content and being frustrated seem to be exact opposites. But the truth is, we become content if we want to be content, in the same way that we become frustrated if we allow ourselves to be frustrated.

The path to choose is now up to you.

Remember, frustration can only mean failure. And failure is not the end of it all. Failure is only a stepping stone to success. Failure is inevitable.

And that is not the reason not to be content at all. Frustration is not even meant to work that way. Frustration should contribute to your own personal growth.

Being content is a constant state of mind, of feeling. Frustrations are just a test, while you can still be content, anyway, after all.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/9-ways-content-midst-frustration/