There Is an Upside to Failure

Why Failure is Not the End

Sometimes when we fail we feel it is the end of the world. There is not one person on the planet Earth that has never failed in his life. The truth is that everyone fails once or many times in their life. You are not alone in this process of failing. It is normal to fail with your business, or your lover, or your friends. But, when you will fail, keep in mind that you are not alone in this and that you should keep moving forward.

There is a reason behind every failure

Failing is all about learning. It is all part of the process - the learning to move forward. Think of Albert Einstein to tried 1001 times to create the light-bulb. His vision and sense of purpose failed him forward.

It isn't always fun when things don't work out the way we planned. It is totally normal to feel de-motivated, without any enthusiasm and willingness to keep going in one thing that you have really want to feel some sense of purpose.

You know how they say: "If you fail 9 times, the 10th time will be a successful one"! The process of failing is difficult.

However, when you fail, feelings of disappointment, why try, de-motivation are seemed real. But, before you decide not to again try, keep in mind that failing is not the end.

When you think that you are on something, fail forward, work with enthusiasm, vision, and purpose, the end results will be what you expected.

Failure is Purposeful

It is often difficult to keep up the motivation. Your sense of purpose can seem illusory as if dreaming. It exists to remind you of what you really want from your life, career, relationship and friendship. When you envisage your dreams as purposeful, a spark of motivation and enthusiasm increases. Your heart is starting to beat faster and faster. You are feeling alive again!

All this is because your vision is an open door to your inner wisdom. Even if you fail once another path will be shown waiting for you just around the corner.

Nothing is lost, you just need to give yourself a chance to keep in your mind's eye all the situations you want to see, when everything seems so negative and without any sense of purpose.

You will feel tired of pushing yourself and stay motivated. Do not worry, nothing is lost.

Whenever you are unsure of what direction to take time to sit quietly. Ask your most pressing question and sit in your heart. Breathe deeply into your heart space, a place of knowing. Through practice you will change your neural pathways into a more coherent state. As well, the answer will come without all the negative self talk we often tell ourselves.

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Abraham Hicks ~ How You Can Make Your Life Dreams Come True

Comforting the Little Orphan Girl (By Tina Tessina)

When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, thrived. But little orphan girl doesn't remember that I made it through - she sinks into despair. When I realize this is going on, I know I have to snap out of it, get into adult thinking mode, and comfort and reassure that sad little part of myself.

Everyone has a similar mental place they can get stuck in-sometimes, people call it "depression" although it's not really clinical depression. It's just a form of mental exhaustion, perhaps due to grief, frustration, disappointment or some other problem. Transactional analysis calls this sad and anxious child part of the psyche the little professor, and here's how it works, and what to do about it.

Everyone laughs when they describe a small child as "four years old, going on forty." Small children can often seem wise and capable beyond their years. If a child has parents who are absent, incompetent, immature or neglectful to the point that the child's well-being is neglected, the child often takes charge and tries to keep things together. He or she uses observation, imitation, experimentation and pretending to solve problems and keep things together when the parents are not functioning well. Often this is an oldest child, who also takes responsibility for younger siblings, and becomes a substitute parent for them as well as I or herself. Eric Berne, M. D. the developer of Transactional Analysis theory, called such a child a "Little Professor." Robert Phillips, M.D., describes how this happens in his monograph, Structural Symbiotic Systems:

"When Tom reaches twenty-four months of age, he has had sufficient healthy parenting so that he is generally willing to relate to others pleasurably and to explore his small world with enthusiasm.

"On a particular day he toddles into the kitchen where Mother is baking a cake for Father's birthday. His senses excited by the sight of Mother's busily relaxed body and by the combined smells of her body and bubbling chocolate, he looks up at Mother and smiles. She smiles in return and, permission granted, he scurries happily to another room to explore, experiencing more stimulation from eye-catching and tactily-differing objects. Soon he returns excitedly to the kitchen, bent perhaps on his first show-and-tell, alive with sensation and awareness.

"But-what is this! There sits Mother in the corner of the kitchen, hunched over in a tense position and crying, with sharp edges on her sobs. Tom's world is suddenly disrupted-he whimpers and gets no response from Mother.

"What has he done or not done to account for this catastrophe, Tom wonders in his small magical mind. Tom does not know and might never know that during his brief absence Mother received a telephone call from Father who angrily criticized her for omitting his habitual salami sandwich from the lunch-bag. Bewildered and fearful, Tom waits and waits and finally takes a desperate dare for survival. He awkwardly moves toward Mother, awkwardly extends his arm, and awkwardly pats her shoulder, uttering the magical words "I love you."

"And with the suddenness of magic, Sobbing Beauty immediately comes to life again in Tom's world. Mother catches rapturous Tom up in her arms, wets his face with her redemptive sadness, and pronounces the words which will become the curse of grandiosity, "You're my wonderful little man! I couldn't get along without you." Tom's small chest expands with pride, his head swells with self-righteousness, and he is immersed in a lethal mixture of liquids which someday might drown him-environmental tears, in combination with an internal bath of both adrenalin and acetyl-choline."

Little Tom has now taken over the role of comforting and parenting his mother. If this only happens sporadically, he will learn some useful skills, and still have a mother who is capable when he needs her. But, a child with a mother who is habitually helpless, perhaps drunk or incompetent, soon forms a habit of caretaking. Highly intelligent and resourceful children can do well enough at caretaking to get a lot of praise and gratification from their accomplishment.

Further problems arise when the Little Professor is smart enough to be successful at the caretaking. For such a child caretaking and "acting as if" he or she knows what to do become strongly ingrained habits. A child with this background often grows up to be a highly competent, but stressed and anxious adult. The anxiety is a result of pretending. No matter how successful and competent the person becomes, no matter what he or she achieves, it never seems real. The Little Professor feels like a child who's pretending to be a grownup.

Until you do the work to separate your childlike self from the past, bring it into the present, and acknowledge all your adult experience and expertise, you will feel as if someone else must be running your life.

Recovering from Little Professor syndrome is not difficult, once you realize you're behaving in this way. The key is to recognize your competence as an adult, and to learn to identify the difference between using your adult intelligence and using your childlike ability to "fake" what you're doing. Reassure yourself that you survived whatever was devastating in the past, and you can get through this difficulty, too.

Guidelines for using grownup thinking

1. Pay attention to signals: Notice when you feel anxious about what you're doing, especially if you're having anxiety attacks with rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath. This is a strong indication that you're in "Little Professor" mode. With practice, you can learn to identify the signals that you're anxious.

2. Use logic: Ask yourself some logical questions about what you're doing and feeling: Is there a good reason to be so nervous? What am I afraid of? What's the worst that could happen? How can I make sure I'm OK? Simply asking these questions, or questions about the facts, such as who, what, when, where, and why; will help you think more like a grownup.

3. Move into adult mode: Remind yourself of all your adult experience and competence. Remember you are not a child.

4. Consider your reasoning: Ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing. Can you explain it logically? If not, perhaps it's a reactive, rather than a rational decision.

5. Develop a plan: Make a reasonable plan to accomplish whatever you want to do, break it down into steps, and stick to it. This will reduce the chances of being sidetracked by emotional reactions.

When you stay in adult mode, you'll find that it's much easier to distinguish your true responsibilities from those that belong to others. You'll feel much more competent, and much more in charge of your own life.

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Top 8 Ways to Be A Happy Person

The black smoke is all over the city, the houses do not look glamorous anymore. The big clock on the tower is incessantly giving commands and almost everyone is running behind time. People are gradually turning into mobile machines that only follow instructions. This busy era is literally snatching away every trait of happiness from people's lives. Sometimes, it seems like people need proper guidelines and tutorials on how to be happy. Do these are the things that you have in your mind? Do you really want to be happy and agile as before? Then this whole article is dedicated to you. I will throw some light upon the top 8 ways that can make you super delighted and gleeful.

1. Think Positive:

Happiness is like a key that only fits the door where everything is full of positivity. Positivity is something that makes you feel confident and composed. Positive thoughts originate from the honest and pacified minds.

Well! This supreme optimism may not come just in a day. A significant amount of effort is required to develop this characteristic. To summarize, it is actually like a habit. So, start feeling it in your mind, and accept every situation positively. This would eventually make you a happy person.

2. Change in Schedule:

A fresh start always happens with a fresh mind. So, these days if you are feeling low and de-motivated, especially in the morning, that means you need something afresh. Start your day differently, slightly change your schedule.

If you want, you can also incorporate a few new habits with your morning chores. In fact, jumble your daily schedule and try out something new every day. Make some changes to your breakfast table as well. Add different food items to make things more spicy and interesting. These slight moderations would definitely keep you engaged and happy throughout the day.

3. Stay fit:

Whether you believe it or not, a happy person always wants to stay fit. No! We are not talking about abs or muscles. No need to run after a heavy workout, just add some basic freehand workouts to your daily regime.

This physical activity would make your sedentary lifestyle absolutely interesting. And, of course! In this way, some calorie would also bid goodbye which is amazing. So, stay fit and stay happy.

4. Friend's corner:

We all have a bunch of special guys in our life, who can literally share the same toilet paper with us, just kidding. Well! Undoubtedly these guys are special. They can always make you happy.

So, call them often. In fact, if you all are staying close, then call them at your house almost every other night. This would not only strengthen the bonding but would also make you happy. So, why not?

5. Try something new:

Boredom often leads to unhappy and clumsy mind. If we do the same thing again and again, definitely we will be stuck with a mundane life. So, bring a fresh breeze of happiness by bringing some change. Try to learn new things or adopt a new hobby.

This would occupy your mind and eventually, the challenge of learning something new would fill your mind with eternal happiness.

6. Let's Go for a Trip:

We all are extremely busy, that's a truth. But, once a month, if we go for a short trip of to an adventurous place, it would give us a whole new experience. Don't plan something big. Just take out 2 to 3 days from your busy schedule. That's all and start off towards a new place.

A voyage, a vacation, a trip these three things always make us happy. It feels like pivoting a new place on the map. Just go for that and you will definitely understand what I meant.

7. A Romantic Date Night:

This tip is especially for those who are in a relationship for a long time. Routine bound life often becomes a hurdle in spending some quality times with our partners. So, plan a date every week on different locations. Invite your lover and spend some beautiful time together.

Cherish the romantic times and create an ambiance of happiness. If you feel, you can also plan something unique. Like you can choose the old cafe where you first met your love or a beach house, any place you like. Indulge in the ecstatic moment.

8. Try Reading:

Exactly! You hear me right. Reading interesting and captivating books make us happy. And, it is not something I have just made, it has been proven many times. So, if you really want to eliminate boredom and want to be joyous, then make reading a beautiful habit.

You can buy new books, or you can also avail a subscription to a nearby library. Overall, this new habit would bring out the best from you. So, read and stay happy.

Happiness is kind of an infatuation to many. It is definitely one of the purest feelings but not easily achievable. Earlier people used to think that only rich people are happy. Well! That was a complete myth. Happiness has nothing to do with money. While the concept is difficult to assume, but the main mantra remains simple. The less you desire, the happier you become.

It is not a direct relationship, but an accumulation of different studies. Lastly, I would only say that these tips would never pose as threats or hurdles in between you and your dreams. But instead, these beautiful tips would help you to be a happy person with whatever resources you have already. So, are you ready to become an amazing happy person?

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Sadhguru On How to Manifest What You Really Want

5 Strategies to Change Negative Beliefs About Your Job or Career

For some people a job is something to get through to pay the bills, or what is referred as a necessary evil. For others, it is a vocation, a calling, or something that gives a sense of purpose to each day of the week. It may take a lifetime to find the right job or career, and it is often the product of developing the necessary skills, acquiring specific knowledge, being dedicated to the company, demonstrating a sense of commitment, and for some, perhaps there is good luck involved, or being at the right place at the right time.

While there are many reasons why a person can succeed or fail in finding a good job or career, there is another factor that can have a significant influence on how a career evolves, and that is the beliefs a person holds about their abilities and capabilities. All it takes is one persistent negative belief, held and maintained for an extended period of time, when someone begins to question their ability to perform well, they sell their talents short, or allow the derogatory self-talk to continue, and this will manifest further in lost opportunities and progress.

It is understandable there are certain circumstances on the job which can create a negative frame of mind that eventually interrupts the best of intentions. But when a negative disposition is allowed to continue and left unchecked, especially when it is related to a person's self-view, eventually there will be a critical breaking point when something has to give or be changed. If the self-beliefs aren't called into question, most likely it will be the job that will suffer.

A negative belief is the most toxic of all beliefs due to the potential damage it can cause to a person's well-being and overall career potential, and it is also the most challenging to change until there is a conscious effort made to question and change it. Self-beliefs also require more than affirmations to bring about change. There may be other strategies needed to bring about a positive frame of mind, in order to help find a new way of viewing the best within a person.

Do You Know How You Develop Your Beliefs?

Early Development: Your beliefs began early in your life and what you believe, along with what you were been taught to believe, shaped your worldview and the lens through which you observe life and understand events. Each belief is established through a pattern of thinking, behaving, and reacting to your external environment. You were possibly influenced to believe certain ideas about the world and life by your parents, religious institutions, and even the school you attended.

Later Development: The beliefs that are developed and held about your job skills, along with the ability to learn and adapt to a work environment, are also formed early in your career as a product of the results perceived from the attempts made to complete required job tasks. As you make attempts to perform tasks, you develop beliefs about yourself, along with your capability and capacity to perform those tasks. Later as you acquire knowledge and skills, you may change or alter those beliefs.

Your beliefs are practiced patterns of thoughts and it is natural to use outcomes and situations as evidence to support maintaining those beliefs. It is not a natural process to question the long held beliefs that have become deeply engrained thought processes, until those beliefs are challenged for some conscious reason.

Can You Just Eliminate Negative Beliefs?

What you'll find among many motivational articles is the idea of becoming and remaining happy no matter what the circumstances may be, and maintaining this positive disposition at all times. This type of mindset is not realistic for most people to sustain for long given the nature of many jobs, the demands of a busy workday, or the need to balance numerous responsibilities throughout the week.

It is also not possible to maintain a happy-go-lucky state each day, ignoring situations you are involved in at work. However, it is possible for you to prevent challenging circumstances that come up from derailing the positive beliefs you have already developed. What is helpful is to recognize when negative emotions are experienced, so you can address those emotions head-on, rather than ignore those emotions and pretend all is well.

How Do You Address Being Fearful?

Feeling anything described as fearful can almost stop a person in their tracks. Becoming afraid occurs when there is a situation a person believes they are not equipped or skilled to address, when the rewards associated with a risk do not seem worthwhile, or taking a chance and performing a new skill or task seems too difficult. For some people it creates a fight or flight feeling that can take a physical or mental toll.

This can change or negate positive beliefs held and create negativity, especially for people who remember challenges rather than their accomplishments. Fearful self-talk usually starts with something like "I cannot do... ", "I'm afraid to try... ", "I'm not sure I know how to... ", "I'm not certain I can learn... " or similar statements. It is a fear of the unknown which can create doubt and anxiety, whether the statements made are based upon a valid or invalid premise. The more fear is accepted as real and uncontrollable, the more the positive beliefs are minimized.

5 Strategies to Change Negative Beliefs About Your Job or Career

Now is the time to evaluate the dominate thoughts you are thinking about your job or career abilities.

What do you believe about your ability to perform the required tasks for your job?

What do you believe about your future capability in your present career?

Pay attention to the words you use and how you describe yourself.

If you find you have negative beliefs you can use the following strategies to challenge and replace those beliefs.

#1. Decide You Are Your Number One Supporter: There is an expression people often use to describe how they view their life and it is about being their own worst critic. This is a common perspective when self-worth is measured according to goals being met or not met, especially when labelled as personal or professional failures.

To become your number one supporter, begin to focus on your accomplishments no matter how minor they may seem to you. What this does is to establish a much needed pattern of thought that can lead to the development of a positive self-belief.

#2. Start by Developing One New Belief Now: What this strategy involves is more than making a positive affirmation. You can begin the development of a new belief statement with something simple, such as "I believe that... ", and add a positive perspective about a skill you have that is related to your job.

For example, "I believe that I am efficient at... and I have demonstrated an ability to... " and fill in the blanks with something related to your job. This helps create a positive disposition and will reaffirm your capabilities and capacity.

#3. Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes: It is highly unlikely you can work through an entire career without making what anyone would perceive as a mistake of some kind. That is the nature of learning about yourself and what you are capable of doing.

What is challenging when looking back, at what has been perceived as a mistake, is whether or not a person remains stuck in the past and allows it to deter future progress. If it is framed from a perspective of failure that can create negative self-talk and lead to a belief that you cannot move past it. If you can acknowledge what has happened without blame, and determine what can be learned from it, you will change your point of view.

#4. Allow Yourself to Feel and Address Your Emotions: Are you familiar with emotional intelligence? At the heart of emotional intelligence is an awareness of how we feel and respond as a result of those feelings. Every day on the job it is possible to experience many feelings and some of those feelings may also cause an intense emotional reaction. What you don't what to do is pretend those emotions do not exist. You must feel and address them.

The good feelings can motivate better performance and the uncomfortable feelings can produce a negative emotion that may result in a reactive response. Negative emotions can build up over time and that is why those emotions must be addressed, otherwise it is possible for positive self-beliefs to be overshadowed. When you feel the negative emotions, pay attention to what you are feeling and work through it. The goal is to come through it and retain your positive self-belief. Ask yourself: What do I need in order to address this situation in a manner that will result in a positive outcome?

#5. Pay Attention to What You Are Thinking: You have unlimited thoughts going through your mind every day. Thinking is a natural process and throughout the workday there are many thoughts that likely involve job performance to some degree.

The key to creating positive self-beliefs is to include statements into your daily self-talk that supports your progress. Here are some statements that you can use: "I am making progress... ", "I am learning... ", or "I am doing my best... " - to serve as a reminder of your positive qualities. This helps you to look for the best in yourself and your performance, which in turn will influence what you believe about yourself.

Today is a New Day: What Are You Going to Believe?

Would you like to feel better about yourself today, and then again tomorrow? You can when you become intentional with your thoughts. An intentional thinker means you pay attention to what you think, you are not allowing circumstances and situations to change the positive beliefs you hold about yourself, and you are controlling the emotions you feel. The process of changing or replacing negative beliefs, especially those related to your professional capacity, takes time and it is in your best interest to do so, as your ongoing career development depends upon it.

The longer a person sustains negative beliefs the more challenging it becomes to feel hopeful about the future, which can create apprehension and fear. In contrast, the ability to believe in the best of yourself leads to the greater likelihood of success on the job and long-term progress in the development of a career. If you can believe in your ability to do well, along with your capacity to learn and acquire new skills, this supportive belief system will bolster how you perform and how you feel about yourself as your work. You will develop a newfound sense of perseverance, determination, and internal strength that will sustain your career.

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Pushing Into Your Highest Good

Way down deep we all have an idea of who we were created to become. Yet, how could we know, where do these ideas arise from? The answer can be found as early as the most formative years in a child's life. What are they interested in? What do they imagine they can do before any adult suggested that their ideas were far too difficult or beyond their ability? We arrive in our lives knowing very well what we are capable of becoming. There was indeed a master plan for all of us!

Assuming that you have tapped into this special place of inner knowing we all have one must stop to wonder what happened? Is it too late to alter the course and return to your real chosen path? If you still wonder, if you still have the interests and a real desire it is not too late. This is universal energy giving you a gentle push forward to do it, do it now. Pay attention to those nudges; they are always benevolent and loving. This is a higher part of you encouraging you.

Once there was a time when there was great interest in the new energy our planet was moving into. Speculation about entering 4D energy was everywhere. There was talk of Mayan calendars predicting the end of time and the end of life as we understood it. Things seemed a little surreal as we made our way into the new millennium, waiting for computers to crash and life as we knew it to become something we could never understand. What happened, where did all that interest go? The fundamental principal of life is that time marches on, with or without our interest in how it happens.

Was it all an illusion, this idea of entering a new energy? Not at all; we have been steadily progressing forward, well into the outer bands of this new energy that allows a much higher vibration of the energy in our daily lives. Things have changed and so have we; it is a continuing process. It is an effortless process, much like breathing. We are doing it without exerting any effort to control the entry. Your awareness of the new opportunities will determine how quickly you are able to take advantage of new opportunities.

Your highest good, that which is encompasses the very best you can become has always been a part of you. In the past you may have encountered road blocks you could not understand leaving you frustrated and perhaps even ready to give up and accept something far less. The imaginary force you stood against was pure energy. No wonder you had difficulty battling it, you simply could not see the barriers before you! This new energy we are emerging into is supportive and loving, allowing you to delve into the new pursuits and expect them to produce your desired results. But how can you do this?

Imagine you are standing before a room you really desire to enter, one where information that can change your life is stored. What would you do? You would look for a door, knowing there is a way in. You are standing before that door now. Using this new energy simply requires you to be aware of the door and, this is important, push the door open. This does not require physical force but rather an understanding of the energy before you. Ignore the walls, wood and metal before you and mentally move forward by pushing your energy into the new space.

Anger, fear and even brute force efforts will not allow you to enter the room. Understanding that a supportive and loving energy is with you and exists beyond the door allows you to embrace your dream again and craft it into a new reality. Accept it, enfold it around you; this allows you to move with it!

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