A Major Cause of Emotional Suffering

Is it possible that there is one major cause of emotional pain and suffering?

Yes! The major cause of suffering is UNKINDNESS - to yourself and to others.

Let's take a look at why unkindness causes most of the pain in the world.

When you are unkind to yourself through your thoughts, such as judging yourself by telling yourself you are not good enough, how do you feel? Anxious, fearful, hurt, angry? Your unkind self-judgments are causing your suffering.

When you are unkind to yourself through your self-abandoning actions, such as eating badly, not exercising, or ignoring your own feelings and choosing addictions, how do you feel? In the long run you may end up feeling physically ill, scared, alone and so on. Your self-abandoning lack of self-kindness is causing your suffering.

When you are unkind to others through your words or deeds, how do you end up feeling? Angry, lonely, empty, alone? Your unloving actions are causing your suffering.

Suffering is the result of unkindness to ourselves and to others. Would we have wars, famine, crime, homelessness or abuse if we were focused on kindness to ourselves and to others?

Suffering Is Caused By The Wounded Self

The suffering in the world is caused by our wounded selves. The wounded self is never focused on true kindness. Even if we seem to be focused on kindness to others, when we are unkind to ourselves we end up suffering. The wounded self is focused on control, and may even use kindness toward others as a form of control, but control is not kind and will eventually lead to suffering.

This can never change on the level of the wounded self. We cannot move to kindness unless that is our intent, and the intent of the wounded self is always to control ourselves and others. The wounded self believes that controlling brings safety. It is devoted to controlling since it came into being when we were young to try to make us feel safe. The wounded self does not understand that its current efforts to make us feel safe cause our suffering.

Consciously Shifting Your Intent Can Heal Your Suffering

It is only when our intent shifts from control to learning about what is most kind to ourselves and others that true change can occur. When you choose to focus on the question, "What is most kind to me in this moment?" and then follow through with the kind thought or action - toward yourself and others - you will be on the path of ending your suffering. As long as your major focus is unconsciously on the questions, "How can I have control over feeling safe and loved? How can I have control over not being rejected and hurt? How can I have control over not being controlled?" you will be perpetuating your suffering.

Kindness is always a CONSCIOUS choice. When you don't consciously choose your intent - your focus in the moment - then you may unconsciously be focused on control.

Practicing Inner Work Healing Process Can End Your Suffering

This is what practicing Inner Work is all about. It is about choosing to be conscious of your suffering so that you can consciously choose to take responsibility for it by consciously choosing the intent to learn about how your wounded self is causing your suffering. It is about consciously choosing to open to your guidance about what is most kind to yourself in any given moment regarding your thoughts and actions toward yourself and others. It is about consciously choosing to put kindness into action through your thoughts and actions.

If you choose to practice Step One of Inner Work - practicing mindfulness of your inner experience, of your feelings, your emotions, your suffering, and consciously choosing to take 100% responsibility for your feelings - then you can consciously choose the other steps of Inner Work Healing Process. Practicing Step One is the first step toward ending your suffering.

https://ezinearticles.com/?A-Major-Cause-of-Emotional-Suffering&id=9994652

Abraham Hicks - The Universe Is Trying to Tell You Something ... Are You Ready?

Remove Shyness With Belly Dancing

Do you consider yourself to be shy? Do you have a problem standing in front of people to make an announcement or to give a speech? Do you find it difficult to meet new people? You are not alone, almost fifty percent of the population admits to feeling shy.

Shyness can be corrected with many different techniques, but I would like to focus on dance therapy. One dance which helps young women to remove shyness is belly dancing. Learning this dance contributes to building self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth.

Three different aspects of correcting shyness.

1. Self confidence... feeling very sure of yourself and have complete confidence in your abilities.
2. Self-esteem... recognition of your accomplishments
3. Self worth how you value yourself

The movements used in this individual dance style requires focused attention in order to accomplish them successfully. This brings attention to the body and how it works. If we are not comfortable with our female body, we then feel self-conscience and this will cause negative attitudes in our mental, emotional, and spiritual being.

In the classroom shy people locate themselves toward the back of the room as they feel uncomfortable wearing clothing which exposes their belly. However, they soon discover that other students are too busy looking in the mirror or at the teacher learning the movements. The students are too busy learning and are not interested in observing other classmates.

The shy person will turn to another student to ask what they missed and this starts the socializing process. Socializing is easy in this situation as both people have a common interest in the dance. The conversation is positive and uplifting which is essential to the shy person. This personality type is often afraid of negative feedback when meeting or conversing with others.

Negative thoughts will cause withdrawal from meeting or having conversations with people. Our self-doubts keep us from meeting new people, enjoying life, or discovering a lifestyle which make us feel alive, happy, and a sense of belonging with the company we choose.

There are many other arts and crafts activities which support this dance interest and it helps to strengthen every aspect of a female to feel positive and good about herself. The other students which are young girls and women remove fears as they communicate with other females sharing their stories and how this dance changed their attitude or their lifestyle.

There are class recitals. No teacher will force a student to dance if it is to be a traumatic experience. Most students are nervous in the first performance. However, most instructors will lead the troupe for the first time. This arrangement builds confidence for all the performers.

It has been my experience that the shy individual is usually the first to volunteer to be in every show after that first performance. She has developed her self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem. She is empowered.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Remove-Shyness-With-Belly-Dancing&id=10057781

Passion Is The Fuel Human Beings Use

Children focus fiercely on everything they do while doing it. Nothing else exists. The world is just them and whatever it is that they are doing at that moment: the game they are playing, the movie they are watching, the toy they are holding... And with that focus comes passion, their inexhaustible source of energy. But then we grow...

As we grow, our attention is divided into a million needs and tasks. We rarely just do one single thing at a time and most of what we do doesn't even require our full attention. We learn to shift our focus from one problem to the next, from one action to the next or back to the previous one. We forget the art of just being totally immersed in only one task, in flow with it, unaware and uncaring about anything else. And as we do, our energy spreads to feed and fuel that myriad of smaller actions we undertake. No wonder why we never feel energetic enough anymore!

Passion is the fuel for human energy. We see it in children but also in those few adults who still maintain their passion for what they do. Have you ever met anybody truly passionate about something who complains of a lack of energy? Just the opposite, right? Those you meet who seem to never tire are profoundly passionate about what they do. Without passion, energy dwindles and it does so because passion requires focus so the three go together and feed one another: passion, focus, energy.

Many people come to me because they feel exhausted and without energy or because they can't perform at the level they see me or others performing. 'What's your secret?' they ask me. 'How can you have so much energy?' The answer is my passion. I passionately love what I do: I passionately love writing and speaking, interacting with other human beings, getting to know them... I passionately love being alive. When those people come to me, they never have a passion of their own and without it, there is no focus.

Think about it for a moment. Look back onto your childhood or just observe children at play. When playing, nothing else exists; just the game. Do you remember that feeling of utter concentration and devotion? That is what you're missing. You go to work but are you fully there? I bet you aren't. Or you only are for short bouts of time. That's why those who professionally devote themselves to their passion never look tired. Unfortunately, most human beings just have a job, not a passion. Most people just do their jobs or pursue their career not because it's a passion for them but for many other reasons. They might choose certain studies based on the greater probabilities to find a job later on, or the amount of money they will bring them, or who knows what. And that is OK, as long as they also realize that days will feel long and boring and will always be accompanied by that perennial feeling of exhaustion.

I feel like this is a rule of life: passion transforms into energy; a lack of passion results in a lack of energy. As simple as that. If you want to feel more energetic in life, you're going to have to change the way you live to find more passion or to create more opportunities to feel passionate about something.

Let me offer you some tips on how to turn a job into something you might feel passionate for. (You can also quit your current job and follow your passion, if you have one, of course, but this next section is for those who already have a job, no specific passion and can't just shift careers at present.) So, if you are a manager in a company, for example, and feel like working days completely drain you of your energy,

1. ask yourself what in your job sparks your passion... Nothing? Very little? Why doesn't it surprise me? Let's try and create or ignite some passion in you, then.
2. go over the list of tasks you perform on a regular week and try and find something in them that you could eventually feel passionate about; human interaction, reaching excellence, being the best at one aspect of your work, creativity, productivity... or maybe even reaching the next wrung in the ladder... whatever. Once you find it, start devoting your full attention to that goal on incremental steps: first 10 minutes a day, then 15, then 20, and so on. Those minutes need to be like children at play, absolutely focused and devoted. If distracted, go back to the task and focus on the positives it brings you. Think about what it is you enjoy about them, how they make you feel, what is is that interests you when performing them. Focus on them at the moment, not on what they might bring in the future.
3. while performing other tasks that are not the ones you identified as possible sources of passion, try to focus your full attention on each of them while carrying them out; a bit like mindful working. When changing tasks, shift your full attention to the new task at hand.
4. If you can't seem to be able to fully focus on something, ask yourself what part of that specific task is distracting you, or which other task is so important that it keeps calling your attention onto it. Focus on that one aspect or task, get it out of the way, so to speak, and go back to focusing on one task at a time.
5. Once you feel a spark of passion for any of the tasks you perform, no matter how big or small, look for similar tasks in your job or possible new developments related to that one task that could open new avenues or result in more opportunities to do what you just discovered you love doing. If necessary, talk to your superiors and let them know about your passion. Managers know that passionate employees always yield better results, so chances are they might give you a few more shots at advancing along those lines.
6. if nothing you do at work sparks your passion at all, apply all 5 points above to your personal life... what do you do outside of work that sparks your passion? And focus on those instead, to build a life of meaning and energy for yourself.

So, do you have any passions in your life? What gets you excited or moving? Use that! Because a life without passion is like a movie in slow motion; nice and fun to watch for a short while but quite boring after a while.

Enjoy life... ALL of it,

https://ezinearticles.com/?Passion-Is-The-Fuel-Human-Beings-Use&id=10066391

Is Humility Strength And Evidence Of High Self Esteem? (By Lance Winslow)

Some would say that an achieved humble man has high self-esteem as he doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. Yes, I can see that point, although that's not the end of the story and it is hardly the beginning either. Not long ago, I was discussing all this with a fellow think tank type mind and they noted an old famous quote:

"Humility is not thinking less of oneself, but thinking of oneself less. Humility is strength not indecision."

Sure, on the surface that does sound like a well-spoken piece of wisdom, but on second thought; is it so? You see, I humbly disagree. How is humility strength? It can be deceptive, hiding one's abilities, I guess deception can be viewed as holding back knowledge and knowledge is power, therefore considered strength - of course, I quite certain that the maker of that quote wasn't thinking about it in that way.

Kids are definitely not humble, they are very self-centered, it's always I, I, I and it is always about them or they cry. Why? Simple, it is natural for them to be that way. We say they need to grow up if they live their life in the first person, by growing up we mean taught or learn to appropriate behavior. Humility is taught, it is learned, it is not natural, it is nurture, and that's fine, but it is our (societies') enforcement upon the individual.

There is nothing wrong with Ego, or I, nothing at all, it's natural and normal and actually first-person thinking, there is nothing wrong with Ayn Rand's Objectivism either. We often attach more character to the humble one, but why? You may not like John Mac Enroe or his behavior on the tennis court, but you also can't touch his skills with a ten-foot pole either. Who is right, it's his life, and people are free to act as they will, in the US we have free speech, which also means tooting one's own horn in self-promotion.

You may not like Donald Trump or Richard Branson for their brashness and perceived megalomaniac style behavior, but since you are not a billionaire who are you to judge? Those who are humble and great may make us feel better about ourselves, and the powers-that-be less threatened, but that doesn't make it a virtue, it is not.

We are told not to judge another man until we walk a mile in their shoes, but apparently it's okay to judge someone who is less humble - why? Simple, it is society's way of reinforcing a specific learned behavior - why? To make us all feel better about ourselves. However, if we were more comfortable in our own skin, we wouldn't be bothered by less-than-humble folks in the first place. Dare to debate?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Humility-Strength-And-Evidence-Of-High-Self-Esteem?&id=9489818

Don't Start Youtube Before You WATCH THIS | Joe Dispenza New

Frozen: Keep It In or Let It Go?

I watched the movie Frozen again recently.

It's a vivid, delightful, and tender demonstration of the limits (and dangers) of either-or thinking and the beauty and power of switching to a mindset of both-and.

The benefits of both-and thinking are most evident when problems are complex and stakeholders seek long-term, sustainable solutions. It's the kind of thinking we need in our world and that, from this blogger's perspective at least, is sadly lacking. Yet it also applies in other contexts.

In Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change, Adam Kahane writing about the "both-and" of power and love, quotes Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

... power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic...

What struck me about Frozen, besides of course the gorgeous music and animation, is how the movie highlights the false choice between power and love and what can happen when we choose both.

Elsa, the Snow Queen, struggles in the early part of the movie with "keeping it in." Because her power is dangerous to those she loves, she's afraid of it and holds it back. Thinking she is choosing love, she represses her enormous power, and eventually disconnects completely from herself and from those she most loves.

In the powerful show-stopper, "Let It Go," she finally breaks out and frees her life force to do what it will, without fetters of any kind. She's done with concealing, with not feeling, and with holding back. She stops caring what people will say, stands firm and lets fly without limits. But in the process she builds a tower of isolation and eventually harms the one person in her life she loves the most.

By the end of the movie, through an equally enormous act of love, Elsa understands it doesn't have to be "either" keep it in "or" let it go. She finds the path that leads to both-and, where she can channel her vast power, her life energy, her ki, constructively, powerfully, and lovingly.

Aikido, the martial art I practice and love for its physical and metaphorical grounding, demonstrates this combination of power and love in what's become known and "The Unbendable Arm." Physically, the Unbendable Arm is effortless and strong at the same time. As a metaphor for life, it shows us that when our life energy (our ki) is directed toward purpose, we can effortlessly accomplish great things, flow through difficult conversations, and influence our environment and our lives consciously.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Frozen:-Keep-It-In-or-Let-It-Go?&id=9935122