Living a Life Without Drama or Fear

Living a life without any drama or fear has required a great deal of preparation, follow through, certainty, self love, having a fully awakened consciousness by receiving answers from God whenever I felt unsure or afraid, along with going with the flow - rolling with life's sudden challenges.

Here are some tips that will hopefully help YOU so your life is free of drama and fear.

Stay far away from anyone with negative energy. People who gossip, have mass chaos in their lives on a continuous basis - these are the people to view with loving compassion while you simultaneously avoid them like the plague.

Having a zero tolerance for abuse. This means that the first degrading comment is the last time you interact with this person. If you prefer to be abused then continuing with contact will continue to bring you the abuse that erodes your self worth and your soul. It causes uncertainty, lack of self assurance and a great lack of self esteem. You decide which way you prefer and go with that.

When life brings sudden challenges, doing a writing by asking God (by whatever name you personally use) what this is all about and asking for the next best steps to take, what to do and what to NOT do - really asking from the bottom of your heart will bring you the answers as the words flow into your mind. This is how every human being receives guidance and answers from God. It feels pure, loving, and most of all it brings you the higher perspective that you may have never considered that causes a huge shift in your consciousness. Some people may refer to this as seeing the blessing in disguise.

Never, EVER say another negative word about yourself to others, and about yourself TO yourself within your own mind. This has to stop NOW. As you consciously STOP ALL NEGATIVE SELF TALK you will notice that your view of self will begin to transform once you REPLACE the negative view you have about yourself with the good qualities you have within based on your observable actions.

Doing a process I learned called the mirror dialogue helps tremendously. All you need to do is look at yourself in front of a mirror (which may feel really uncomfortable) and tell yourself three good qualities you have based on YOUR OBSERVABLE ACTIONS.

For example, you held the door open for an elderly person walking into the store. Three good qualities that action displays are kindness, helpful, and compassionate. So you look at yourself and say, "When you held the door open for the elderly person today that was really kind, helpful and compassionate. THAT'S IT. Do this two times a day for two years. Notice your self esteem and your view of self transform. The time will come when there is no way you would EVER say another negative thing about yourself to anyone, including you.

Sometimes life just happens. Sometimes it is not pleasant. Many times it creates great fear. Roll with it. There are hidden blessings of new positive growth that may well result from a temporary negative experience. I have learned the most as a result of my greatest challenges, and boy did I have a huge list of challenges! HOW I learned the most was when I asked God for the higher perspective. I asked WHY this, whatever it was, was happening.

Create within your mind your IDEAL picture of you and how you really want to live your life. Get specific - SUPER specific. The more detailed of a picture you created within your own mind about your ideal you will start to send out energy that attracts what you hold within your mind to you. The universe does it automatically. So there is no need to worry!

Worry is one of the worst things you can do. It is your imagination creating all kinds of possible scenarios that scare you and disempower you.

The flip opposite of worry is to live ONLY in this now moment. Every single time you notice you are feeling unsettled inside, take a moment to stop yourself and ask yourself what is going through your mind. Oh, it's worrying about how everything is going to turn out! Now, take a few deep breaths, and pull your conscious focus right into this NOW moment. Look at anything in front of you and tell yourself this is the ONLY moment you need to be focused on. You will make your decisions as they are facing you in the NOW moment. This is more empowering than putting yourself through the ringer with imagined possibilities that are NOT in your current moment reality.

By keeping your conscious focus on RIGHT NOW you will bring yourself something called inner peace. The fears are GONE. There is NO drama at all. It may take a lot of conscious effort to continuously pull your focus into this now moment until your consciousness transforms and you are ONLY living in this now moment. Every time you stop the imagined fears, take three deep breaths and bring your focus into NOW. After some time doing this you WILL notice that you NO LONGER WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE! Wouldn't that be nice?

Pay close attention to how you feel inside. Become aware of what you are feeling and do ONLY that which you prefer.

Become consciously aware of the inner guidance you receive - that "still small voice" that guides you from within. THAT is God, not Aunt Edna. Pay ATTENTION to the inner guidance you receive and MOST IMPORTANTLY FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT IN YOUR ACTIONS. Every time you do not you, just like me, will want to kick yourself. Every time you actually pay attention to the sudden inner guidance you are receiving you, just like me, will be SO GLAD!

Your guts will NEVER steer you in the wrong direction! The energy you pick up from others, or a gut feeling that does not feel entirely positive, all green lights go, means that you are to move AWAY from what feels uncomfortable or uncertain. ONLY follow through with what feels entirely life renewing to you on the inside and your external reality will yield excellent results.

Remain true to yourself at ALL times. Pay close attention to what feels true and right to you and what does not. ONLY follow through with what feels true, right, light and easy inside.

As a result of all of the above, you will notice that you no longer feel fearful or insecure. Feelings of dread will vanish. Feelings of certainty and CONFIDENCE will take it's place. There is only ONE way you will EVER feel supreme confidence - and this is by following through with what feels right to you and leave skid marks when something or someone feels "off" to you. If you ever feel uneasy but cannot come up with a logical explanation - that's OKAY you don't have to. Just MOVE AWAY from any person or situation that does not feel like all green lights go. This guidance can actually save your life, and I mean this with all seriousness.

If you have relatives or friends that try to give you advice, people who doubt you, anyone who puts you down, but if they are someone like a relative that you for whatever reason may need to be in contact with this person - speak to them about domestic chores the next time they ask you how things are. Say, "Good, no complaints!" If they prod further tell them about how you are cleaning out your closet, and how you are organizing your dresser drawers. Let them know that, "it's amazing how quickly dust accumulates." I'm dusting more.

I PROMISE you that after a while when you have completely STOPPED TELLING THEM YOUR BUSINESS and only speak about domestic chores, and never again complain about your life, they will no longer have anything to advise you on because you will have completely stopped feeding them information!

ONLY share your personal business with people who are entirely SUPPORTIVE of you on every level! You may have to allow old friendships that no longer serve you to flow out of your life. You may need some guidance. Follow the process of asking God for the guidance you need. You will be happy receiving the answers.

Remember always to go with what feels true and right to you and you can never go wrong.



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4 Ways To Simplify Your Life Right Now



In a period of information overload, there's never been a better time to simplify life.

The raging struggle of modern existence can lead to inner turmoil if we're unaware.

The key to living an inspired life is to simplify it. To gain clarity on what's important, let go of unnecessary conditions and tune into what you value most. Most people chase material possessions believing they'll be happy, only to realise it makes matters worse.

The more clutter in your life, the less capable you are of knowing what's important to you since you are distracted by insignificant issues that vie for your attention. Naturally, you react to what is taking place before you instead of what's essential.

Health, relationships, family and living my purpose are central aspects to my life nowadays. It's taken an entire lifetime to reach this point, yet it's well worth it. That which brings you joy and happiness require the least effort.

I'm drawn to the quote by Henry David Thoreau who said, "As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness."

The Law of Least Effort functions according to the principle of simplicity. Given that we evolve from nature, it makes sense to adopt this way of being in our life.

The following are four valuable points to implement right now. Apply them gradually and don't be discouraged if you don't see results at first. It requires patience and persistence for something of value to yield results. Akin to a plant, the initial stages begin with the seed sprouting beneath the soil, invisible to the naked eye. Yet, with nurturing and time, it grows into a healthy plant and so too with your habits.

1. Surround Yourself With Remarkable People

These include: friends, family, romantic partners, co-workers and those who offer you support and encouragement. Significant people are those who encourage your personal growth. They are your humble ambassadors in times of need and don't desert you through crisis. The company of such people leads to simplified living because your needs are met through close connections.

Great people inspire and strengthen you, not drain your energy. Energy vampires rob you of your vital force, so be aware them. They want to gain something and are unwilling to offer anything in return. Steer away from them, they will deprive you of your long term happiness.

2. Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You

I've written about this in earlier articles. Letting go of what no longer serves you is essential to simplifying life because we free ourselves from what consumes our energy. This includes: people, things, places, relationships, travel, behaviours or habits. If it doesn't bring you joy, remove it from your life or distance yourself from it. However, don't fill the void with something else, simply allow it time to recede, so you have less to focus on. In doing so, you free up mental and emotional resources for more important matters. Create a space for something wonderful to appear and trust it will take its place, since Nature abhors a vacuum.

3. Focus On Experiences, Not Things

The lie that happiness comes from material possessions is one many fall victim to. Sure, it might offer happiness for a short while, although once it wears off you yearn for something more.

Newspapers are filled with stories of people who inherit millions of dollars, only to find themselves more miserable than before. This is not due to money per se, rather the stress associated with managing large sums of money. Accumulating material objects amplifies insecurities already present in a person.

Focus on experiences and surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones. Travel more, perform random acts of kindness, do charity work if that appeals to you. The key is to find fulfilling experiences that embody who you are. For example, I enjoy creative hobbies and feel lively when engaged in these endeavours. Find time for these activities and you'll be happy and content.

4. Be In Tune With Your Nature

When you're in tune with your nature, you connect to your source. I'm not talking about religion or spirituality, yet something greater. You are the expression of Mother Nature in all her glory. Everything from your thoughts to your body reflects the infinite powers of universal intelligence. Stay connected to your source and you'll feel the aliveness of the universe permeate through you.

How do you stay in tune with your nature? Here are steps to consider:


  • Be kind and compassionate to yourself and others
  • Think empowering thoughts
  • Live a healthy life
  • Eat whole food close to its original state
  • Balance your giving and receiving
  • Create fulfilling relationships
  • Be of value in your local community
  • Respect Mother Nature
  • Be of service to others
  • Be at peace with yourself
  • Think globally, act locally

We're on the verge of a new way of life, uniting spirit and matter to become conscious creators of our destiny. The old paradigm is gradually falling away to make way for the new. This isn't about a new world order, for it's much simpler than that. It's an expanding of consciousness and fading of primitive thinking, once dictated by our primal urges.

The changes herald a new way of perceiving the world via our sixth sense. People are harnessing their intuition to make sense of the world around them. Be willing to upgrade your model of reality to coincide with the change. Remove preconceived ideas about how life should play out since these concepts keep you trapped in the past.

Simplifying life brings immense joy because we need little to make us happy. Economic studies in Australia suggest households on a combined income of $40k per annum are no happier at this threshold. In the US, the figure is $75k, which confirms we needn't accumulate vast amounts of wealth to be happy.

Mother Nature is more intelligent than we give her credit for. She provides us with the inner wisdom to make sense of our lives, yet we're controlled by our impulses instead of focusing on what's meaningful. Don't succumb to the out-there model that suggests your inner needs originate from outside circumstances.

Make a vow to simplify life and reduce your impact on the environment. Reduce your waste and non-renewable resources.

Strive to live a clean and uncluttered existence.

The reward is a conscious life imbued with simplicity, instead of what you believe will make you happy.


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Highlighting Positives Within The Law of Attraction

When you look at self-improvement as a whole, you're going to be littered with solutions. There's no "one" thing that works best. There's a lot of things that can work, and many people are finding this through the Law of Attraction. This is a way of thinking that goes beyond simple tasks, it can create outstanding results. For instance, one of the main benefits is in regards to coming into a lot of money. While this may sound insane at first glance, you'll find that it's just a starting line that is worth exploring on a bigger picture.

Attracting Positivity

Think about the infectious nature of a smile. When you are smiling, it seems like the whole world will oblige in returning this for you. You're going to find that few people are going to have a disdain for this, and it shows with everyone that has a positive element in their lives. There's a beauty in smiling and being happy, and it comes with positivity. That same principle that causes this notion to be infectious is the same thing that you are going to be pursuing within the notion of attraction. However, attraction in the law is something that goes out to the universe, and returns dividends that are not just physical.

Changing Yourself For The Better

Right now, many people are fighting to get a semblance of self-esteem. They aren't feeling good, they lack confidence, and aren't really sure how to progress in the right arenas. That can be changed by looking at the silver lining in life, and chasing positive elements. The more you work with positivity, the better you're going to be at enjoying the fruits of your labor. Changing things for the better starts with looking at what you're thankful for, and then building on that over time. You'll find that changing for the better is an easy thing to get done, if you just focus on listing things out with a pen and paper.

Avoiding Negativity

The best thing that comes with the Law of Attraction is in regards to casting aside negative things. You don't want to surround yourself with this. This is a sure fire way to decrease happiness, and cause a lot of issues to rise up within your mind, and body. If you've never tried to fight this before, this is your chance to shake things up. The more you chase different paths, the better you are going to feel inside, the more your mood will elevate, and the better your life will become.

At the end of the day, you are going to find that attraction is not a singular thing. It's something that encompasses a whole different world view. Take time to focus on the bigger picture and you are going to see a huge jump in your path towards freedom from negative elements. This all starts with recognizing that you control a lot more than you give yourself credit for, and then goes into a full changing scale.



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Stresspensation: Evaluating the Impact of Stress in Career Decision Making



Brad was an incredibly bright young executive with a very promising future. Ever since graduating college, he seemed to take on increased responsibilities in his company like a duck to water. He married his college sweetheart, Nancy, right after graduation and has two small children. Brad's talent didn't go unnoticed in the industry, with several competitors approaching Brad about his willingness to join another firm. He steadfastly resisted, that is until the offer of all offers came his way.

ACME Corp, a larger and more prominent competitor to his current company, wined and dined Brad and ultimately offered him a VP position with a higher salary and better benefits. The offer was too good to pass up so Brad talked with Nancy about the job and they both became enamored with how this was going to advance Brad's career and what they would be able to do with the extra money. Brad joyfully accepted ACME's offer, gave his current company two weeks' notice, and started in his new VP role.

Within a year of joining ACME, he noticed some unexpected side effects of his new position. He was required to be in weekly global executive virtual meetings which could happen at any time of the day or night. He was routinely working 60+ hours a week, missing dinner with Nancy and the kids. He traveled at least once a week, many times to put out fires at clients. His eating habits were horrendous and he wasn't exercising due to his schedule. He began putting on weight. Nancy was frustrated with him not being around and his kids missed their daddy. The stress was unbearable and led to Brad one day grabbing his chest and collapsing during a customer meeting.

While the above story about Brad is fictional, each one of us knows of a Brad (or perhaps is Brad) who made a career choice without considering the effects of the extra stress. The American Institute of Stress (yes there is such an organization) has quantified the cost of stress to employers at $300 billion annually due to things such as absenteeism, accidents, turnover, diminished productivity, and medical costs. Add to that the personal costs of stress (i.e., poor health, weight gain/loss, sleep deprivation) and the relationship costs of stress (i.e., fractured relationships, friends or loved ones alienation, missed school plays), and you have a perfect storm of negative factors which make any kind of work-life balance virtually impossible to attain. In my 30 years of working with career professionals, stress typically takes a back seat to compensation and when considered, it is usually only a slice of the true stress level that the professional will endure. In the first ten years of my own career I saw stress as a given and gave it no consideration when evaluating career alternatives. This was a big mistake and a lesson I learned the hard way. Fortunately I learned it early in my career and was able to make some positive changes. However, some professionals never get it.

To help the professional evaluate the impact of stress when deciding on a career change, I've defined a comparative increase/decrease method to evaluate the impact of stress, based on three stress types:

(a) Relationship Stress

(b) Work Stress

(c) Personal Stress

For each stress type, a qualitative degree of stress is defined as follows:

1 - Minimal Stress

2 - Moderate Stress

3 - Significant Stress

In evaluating the impact of stress, each of the three stress types is assigned a value for the current and new job alternatives, then a comparative increase/decrease assessment is derived for each stress type. Let's put this to an example.

Lets say that a systems analyst (I'll call her Ann) is currently in a job paying $90,000/year and she's been offered a new position paying $100,000/year. On the surface, Ann likes the idea of a $10k raise and looks at the three stress types for each job, as follows:

Current Position

  1. Relationship stress = 2 due to infrequent evening meetings only.
  2. Personal stress = 1 due to ability to keep up with personal interests without sacrifice
  3. Work stress = 2 due to some tight deadlines

New Position

  1. Relationship stress = 3 due to evening meetings and four international trips/year to work with offshore developers
  2. Personal stress = 2 due to having to alter exercise schedule, and having to drop book club
  3. Work stress = 3 due to mission critical deadlines and regular status updates to senior management

When you look at the three stress types the following pops out about the new position:

Stress Type    Current Position    New Position    Increase/Decrease
Relationship      2                   3                Increase

Personal          1                   2                Increase

Work              2                   3                Increase

Ann is now faced with the following decision: Is the salary bump of $10k worth the incremental relationship, personal and work stress she'll endure? Depending on whatever other decision criteria Ann factors into her decision, the answer could be yes or no. Whether or not she takes the job is still her decision; what the process has done is forced her to consider the three stress types and derive data points in which she can use in her overall decision-making.

There are a number of important considerations for you to digest in using this methodology:

First, this is not an autonomic decision-making tool where the numeric answer is the sole job determinant. The impact of stress methodology is meant to bring relationship, personal, and work stress factors to the forefront of your decision making process.

Second, you need to be realistic about stress levels. "Wishing down" a stress level doesn't make it go away; it just sets you up for a letdown (or worse) after you've made your decision.

Third, you need to let your friends and loved ones come up with the relationship stress value and not assume a value for them. The real benefit in the methodology is the thought process and discussions you have along the way. Don't shortcut how your stress type values are determined or you'll miss out on some valuable nuggets.

Fourth, the methodology applies to any type of career change which involves new or different responsibilities, including promotions. Most of us are wired to blindly accept promotions without regard for the additional stress which may accompany the promotion.

Fifth, there will likely be stress in any job change; make sure you look at your steady-state stress level versus the "learning curve" stress level.

Your Go-Dos

When faced with your next career decision, follow these five steps to assess your impact of stress and help you decide on your career choice course of action:

  1. Ask a lot of questions about the job and the degree of relationship, personal and work stress entailed in the job. Seek out others who may have done the job before or others who have some inside perspective.
  2. Look at the job responsibilities (both stated and those you derive through interviews) and determine how much stress each of the responsibilities will create for you. Decide on a 1-3 work stress value.
  3. Write down the personal activities and goals you have (i.e. exercise 4x/week, sleep at least 7 hours a night) and determine how the career choice would impact each of the activities and goals. Decide on a 1-3 personal stress value.
  4. Openly discuss with your friends and loved ones what the career choice would mean in terms of impact to relationship time (i.e. not being home for dinner, availability to help with homework) and ask them to decide on a 1-3 relationship stress value.
  5. Derive the increase/decrease in stress for each of the three stress types.
  6. Decide how you're going to factor the impact of stress into your overall decision.

Remember, the real benefit in utilizing the impact of stress methodology is in the discovery process you'll go through to understand relationship, personal, and work stress drivers for different career choices. Be real with yourself as to how a career choice will affect you and those you love.


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Will a Robot Steal Your Job? Not If You Learn to Stay Relevant (By Ernest B Bray)



If recent events have revealed anything, it's that many Americans are anxious about their jobs - an anxiety based on well-documented facts. There is fierce competition for good positions. Very often, however, it comes not from globalization but from robots and AI.

To avoid becoming a casualty of progress, you need to adapt as swiftly as possible. You need to find ways of staying relevant in a workplace increasingly dominated by software. Although you will never enjoy a guaranteed job for life (those days are long gone), the following tips should keep you from becoming obsolete overnight:

1. Continuously upgrade your skills. The coveted job skills of today will not be those of tomorrow. Hence, you must consistently enhance your education (which doesn't necessarily mean a college education). You need to learn valuable skills, including communications and technology, to remain valuable and agile. Nobody can predict what the most sought-after jobs will be 10 years from now, but some of the knowledge and skills for these jobs can be identified in advance.

2. Embrace technology. Technology is always changing, and so must you. Dedicate yourself to becoming an early adopter. Read about new technologies and be ready to utilize these tools - from office software to database programs. The more knowledgeable you are about new and emerging tech, the better prepared you'll be to work with them instead of being displaced by them.

3. Display energy and enthusiasm. I can't emphasize this enough: when employers make hiring decisions, they always give preference to upbeat people who will bring energy to the company. They don't want dour drones without any passion for the job. High-energy people are always in demand, and will always have a leg up.

4. Be a creative person. Harnessing your creativity will be even more important in the future. More often than not, you'll be called on to use your mind, rather than your hands, to generate new products (in conjunction with AI and robotics). You'll need to creatively interpret data to help streamline and improve processes. People who display their creativity will have few problems finding new opportunities.

5. Communication skills. Regardless of how automated the workplace becomes, it will always be vital to communicate with colleagues and customers on a human level. Most technology will be used to assist employees, not replace them. And AI is a poor substitute (so far) for the personalized communication that so many customers expect.

6. Dress for Success. Don't assume that dressing sloppily is a good idea because some successful entrepreneurs wear sweatshirts and tennis shoes. On average, professionally dressed employees are better positioned to advance their careers than those who dress like middle age frat boys in a misguided effort to look cool.

7. Be very adaptable. Job responsibilities and descriptions may be much more fluid in the future. If you're the type who can only handle one responsibility, or focus on one task at a time, you may not go far. Those who do go far will do what it takes to help the company succeed, regardless of whether the tasks are listed in their job descriptions.

Companies will always need people to manage and use new technologies. In most cases, these tools will merely assist human beings rather than pushing them out the door.

This isn't to say that some people won't be displaced. But if you follow the advice above, it's less likely that you'll lose your job to a piece of software. Instead, you'll be working with that robot or AI software to achieve tasks that might have been impossible just a few years earlier.



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A Good Beginning Makes A Good Ending


Our lives are full of beginnings and endings. The style of thinking that is becoming dangerously common is "If you can't be number one or number two, then you might as well not play at all. It's more important to start than to succeed. Take a risk, get started, and contribute something. This is especially true at first. Have the courage to start.

Each person can then see how everyone else adds value.This requires the people who are responsible for the system concerned pay attention to the purpose of the system so that they can take action to make sure everything is in its right place. When the right person is in the right place for the right reasons at the right time, we can feel confident there will be a good relationship that will serve the purpose of the system.

Beginnings are important. They set the stage for what will come after. If a step still seems daunting, break it down further. When you are mindful of what is actually happening it stops you worrying about what might happen in the future. And whatever happens in the future you will be able to handle. Set challenges for yourself.

So, good beginnings require the system to provide an invitation based on personal alignment, a warm welcome, an orientation and explanation of boundaries, space for new entrants and the opportunity for everyone to get to know each other. This might have included acknowledging: the recognition of what you had contributed the possibilities of your contribution being leveraged in the future the part you had played in this system even though you were to be leaving the value of the experience the gifts you developed that you would be taking with you the memories you would take with you the appreciation you felt possibly the sadness at leaving the joy of what was coming next When all these things are said, people can look each other in the eye, feel seen, acknowledged and respected, and both be free to go forward on a good basis.

We aren't just being forgetful, or complacent. In our professional lives, getting a good start can have dire consequences. For procrastinators, that vision is blurry. Our motivation to start any task depends on us seeing value in it, yet we place more value on what is happening currently over what the future holds and justify this decision by emotionally disconnecting ourselves from our future self.

Some of this hesitation is warranted because you want to ensure that all your ducks are in a row, but there comes a breaking point where all of your reviewing and polishing is merely an illusion for hiding.

The point is, the longer you delay, the longer it will take for you to learn something from what you started.

Our job as professionals, then, is to finish what we begin. It isn't about removing the fear or uncertainty from the process. It isn't about reducing every opportunity for failure or disaster.


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The Greater The Challenge - The Better The Learning



Facing a challenge today? Welcome to life 101. The question is what do you do with it? Or better still, how do you feel about it? Or, if you are really mature - what can you learn from it. I'm sure with this opening I have already lost some of you. Tired of useless, motivational mumbo jumbo from people who think they know it all but don't have a clue just spouting inspirational words they think we need when what we really need are practical ideas to use challenges as a learning tool? Believe me - I teach this stuff and I can tell you I am tired of pontification from too many famous people.

So, let me begin with a few basic premises if you are still with me so you can decide if you want to finish this article.

-Failure is necessary for real and lasting success. 
-Most people do whatever they can to avoid failure. 
-Problems, hardship, trials etc. are normal - no one is immune. 
-When you stop learning you stop growing. 
-When you stop growing you start dying. 
-All success is first and foremost a mindset. 
-Everything that comes at us does so to teach us. 
-All our reactions to everything in life are driven by our perceptual interpretations.

Need more?

-If you are not risking you are not failing and if you are not failing you are stuck. 
-Change is constant and people don't resist change - they resist losing control.

OK, enough of this - now to the key point - why, when and how can we learn to deal with hardships, challenges, adversity, failures, problems etc. to use them as learning tools and resources?

There are many ways people both interpret and respond to a variety of life's challenges or trials. Actually, many people don't even call them challenges but opportunities but more on that another time, for now let's just stick with how we respond and why and how we can respond if we choose to.

Challenge - question, disagree with, dispute, take issue with, protest against, call into question, object to.

See how we can choose to even define the word differently? For example, what I am referring to here when I say challenge is not the above definition but a - test, trial, difficulty, struggle etc. But I'm sure you are well aware of how words can often be defined differently by different people depending on how they choose to or decide to define them.

But, I digress.

There are basically only three ways to define, deal with or interpret a challenge - denial, acceptance or rejection. And, depending on your definition or interpretation - this will determine your reaction and then potential consequences. For example:

Denial - just because you choose to deny something doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Rejection - just because you reject something doesn't mean it won't persist.

Acceptance - just because you accept something doesn't mean it is solved or dealt with in a positive, creative or constructive way. 
You see, there is more to the idea of a challenge than just your initial response. What really matters is not just how you define them or your initial reaction to them, but your attitudes about how you will let them influence your life now or in the future. It's about keeping control of your life or giving it up to others or outside circumstances. By this I don't mean to imply that there are some situations that we can't control but even in all of these we still have the power of self-reaction or self-control if and only if we choose to exercise it.

There are consequences to the three reactions above.

Denial - they will tend not to go away or never return. They will need to be dealt with sooner or later - sooner being the better of the two options.

Rejection - you can resist and fight all you want but it's just reality - life happens and it wants to teach us. Life is not fair or unfair. It doesn't pick on or reward certain people. Wealth won't stop cancer. Fame won't stop a potential accident. Good looks won't prevent loss. Get it? I don't care how well off you are - no one and I mean no one regardless of wealth can prevent aging. Oh, sure you can invest a lot in surgeries to make you look better on the outside but trust me - you are still fading on the inside

Acceptance from my perspective is the best option or approach and why? Well, you are on offence and not defense for starters. But the most important thing is you have chosen to take control of something rather than give up control.

I hope you weren't looking for a list of do's and don'ts when it comes to challenges. Sure, I can give these to you if you want - just shoot me an email and I'll be happy to give you my list.

What I have tried to do with this article is to ask you to start thinking about how you approach challenges and the impact they have on your life. I hope I was able to create a positive inner dialog.



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