5 HABITS OF PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS GET PROMOTED

SOME EMPLOYEES JUST SEEM TO BE AHEAD OF THE CURVE AND REAP THE REWARDS. HERE'S HOW TO BE THAT PERSON.

Most of us have had that coworker that seemed to be a perfect fit for the company or team. She always had the right answers. He seemed to know what needed to be done before the company leaders even did. And that "sixth sense" and insight was rewarded with responsibility, autonomy, accolades, and advancement.

"When employees bring those qualities, they’re perceived as leaders in the company, no matter what position they hold," says Katharine Halpin, CEO and founding principal of The Halpin Companies, Inc., a leadership consultancy in Phoenix, Arizona. "They take ownership for problem solving and dissolving conflict. They naturally have this sort of alignment with the company."

The good news is that becoming a super-employee isn’t some rarified secret. It’s a combination of skill set and mindset that you can begin to develop for yourself by focusing on these five key habits.

1. THEY CHOOSE THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT FOR THEIR TALENTS

It’s hard to be a super-employee if the company’s needs are very different from your abilities, talents, and values, Halpin says. In addition, a 2015 research report by the Cicero Group found that one of the most important factors in employees consistently producing great work was recognition. Thirty-seven percent of respondents said that being recognized by a manager or by the company was the most important driver in great work. So, choosing to work where your work is valued is important.

2. THEY PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THEIR BOSS VALUES

Super-employees are studying the preferences and goals of their direct supervisors, their supervisors’ supervisors, and the company at large, says Gayle Lantz, founder of WorkMatters, Inc., a leadership consultancy in Birmingham, Alabama. They may be striving to participate in projects and meetings that aren’t part of their jobs, but which give them access and information to what company leaders think and need.

"They’re doing things above and beyond what other employees are doing, and they’re showing interest. They’re motivated and showing they want to learn what it’s like to be at the top," she says.

3. THEY FOCUS ON BOTH DAILY RESPONSIBILITIES AND BIG-PICTURE THINKING

Exceptional performers are able to maintain dual focus on both the task at hand, as well as how it fits into the bigger picture, Lantz says. If they don’t understand something, they get the information they need to make its importance clearer.

When you start looking at everyday tasks from both perspectives and truly understand what you need to do and why it needs to be done, you become more strategic and begin to anticipate what needs to be done—sometimes before others know what needs to be done, she says. In addition, you’re better able to prioritize so that your activities and energy are focused where they are of most value to the company, Halpin adds. 

4. THEY MAKE SPACE FOR BIGGER THINKING

Keeping some open time in the day, such as scheduling time between meetings and blocks of time for simply thinking or working on projects that require concentration, can also supercharge performance, Halpin says. Super-employees are vigilant about scheduling everything from daily meetings to big projects to ensure that they have the best possible chance at a successful outcome.

"Sometimes, it’s just very practical actions—getting to places early, not rushing from meeting to meeting if you can help it—to give yourself time to do what you need to do. That may be thinking about the purpose of your next meeting, or getting a snack or drink so you’re not hungry or thirsty," she says. Being harried, distracted, hungry, or otherwise uncomfortable because you’re too rushed is not going to allow you to do your best work and be most insightful, she adds.

5. THEY LIKE THEIR COLLEAGUES

High performers are in tune with the people around them and can sense when they need something. They possess soft skills like empathy and are able to relate well to other people because they take the effort to try to understand them, Lantz says.

"A large part of any business is helping people work together well. Super-employees make that a top priority. They look at relationships as something that’s critical to success in the business—not just doing the work," she says.

http://www.fastcompany.com/3047794/know-it-all/5-habits-of-the-best-employees

9 Smooth Negotiation Techniques That Never Fail

Sweeten the deal and get what you want with these smart bargaining pointers.

There you are, sitting across the table from a frustrating situation—he wants one thing (say, vanilla ice cream), and you want something else (swirl, duh). You're about to begin what could be a heated negotiation. So how do you approach it? How do you smooth talk your way to sweet, swirlin' success?

Whether you're trying to convince someone of what ice cream flavor to order, or you're hammering out a more serious business contract, negotiating is never easy breezy. And as much as you'd like to think of yourself as an expert negotiator, able to convince a die-hard vanilla fan to change his ways, even the best can stumble in the midst of a tricky deal-making discussion.

So we asked the Young Entrepreneur Council, "What's your favorite negotiating technique—one that never fails you?" Before you say or do anything, here are 9 negotiation tips so you can walk out happy, swirl cone in hand:   

1. Use data and content to back up your position.

If you're negotiating solely based on your opinion of what something is worth, you've already lost. Utilize content you've read, stats you've seen and insight from others to make a case for what you're negotiating for.

—Kelsey Meyer, Influence & Co.

2. Go for a walk.

Sometimes negotiation stalemates can happen when people feel bogged down. Research shows that movement and change in physical space can change mental space. If you can't work it out in the board room, ask the decision maker to step out and get some fresh air with you—go grab a coffee or lunch together. You might be surprised what shakes out.

—Vanessa Van Edwards, Science of People

 3. Use silence to your advantage.

Awkward silence isn't a bad thing—especially when it comes to the point where the other side of the table is bringing up [deal-making details].

—Justin Boggs, ZeeBerry.com

 4. Use your emotional intelligence.

It's obvious but often forgotten; be personable and likable. If time allows, build up a great relationship first by getting to know the person while also finding some common interests. It becomes harder for them to say no to someone they like. I will say that it may not be the solution all the time, but I find that I enjoy working with people I actually like.

—Souny West, CHiC Capital

 5. Discover areas of mutual gain.

Spend time to discover the other party's goals to increase the mutual gains achieved in the negotiation. For example, if the other party won't budge on price, focus instead on other areas of the agreement, such as the length and scope of the warranty, a discount for purchasing in bulk and other areas of interest that might provide even greater benefits for both parties.

—Doug Bend, Bend Law Group, PC

 6. Set the anchor by speaking first.

In salary or other price negotiations, most people will wait for the other side to speak first. This is a mistake. The person who speaks first has the advantage of setting the "anchor." The first number that is mentioned is typically the anchor for the rest of the conversation. Don't be afraid to speak first and control the situation by setting the anchor. Most deals will close near the anchor.

—Mark Cenicola, BannerView.com

 7. Respect the other's side.

Showing that you respect the other's side never fails to mellow his/her stand. Practical usage: "You want $30,000 for your great program, and it's really worth it. It has simple ­to­ use features and awesome reporting. The only problem is that I have a $20,000 budget for this type of service. Please get back to me if it can work anyway." It works!

—Elliot Bohm, Cardcash.com

 8. Listen.

It may not seem unusual, but it is rare to find a person in negotiations who is actually listening to the other party. When you listen to what your "opponent" is actually saying, whether it's in their tone or by reading between the lines, you can always find a way to come to a solution that works for both of you.

—Kevin Henrikson, Acompli (now Outlook iOS/Android @ Microsoft)

 9. Add in negotiation freebies.

Intentionally include something as part of the initial proposal that you're willing to give up. This is especially true if your proposal has to go through several rounds of approval (legal, product, management, etc.). Give each one of them something that they can easily come back and tell you they want to remove or change—that way they feel good about having had a role in making the deal better.

—Mattan Griffel, One Month

http://www.success.com/article/9-smooth-negotiation-techniques-that-never-fail

4 Financial Habits of People with Excellent Credit

Good credit has everything to do with learning good habits and practicing them.

                        

Your credit score can be your financial passport to a loan or credit card approval, renting an apartment or even getting a job, so it’s important to know what kind of behaviors can help you build excellent credit.

Experian examined consumer data based on the different tiers of Vantage Score to give consumers an idea of which behaviors are necessary for building great credit. And as it turns out, there’s no magic to it—good credit is simply a matter of learning good habits and practising them.

VantageScore is a credit-scoring model developed by the three major credit reporting bureaus: Experian, TransUnion and Equifax. It ranges from 300 to 850 and is separated into five tiers:

300-499: Deep subprime

500-600: Subprime

601-660: Nonprime

661-780: Prime

781-850: Super prime

While the Vantage Score isn’t as widely used as the FICO score, it’s calculated with many of the same factors and is a good indicator of overall credit health. That being said, the following habits can help you establish excellent credit regardless of which scoring model you use.

So, what do people with excellent credit do?

1. They pay bills on time.

Making payments on time is one of the most important ways to build good credit. The Experian data supports this notion, showing that 100 percent of super prime consumers and 97 percent of people with prime credit have no late payments on their credit reports.

Takeaway: Make a habit of paying on time, every time. If you do have any delinquent bills, get caught up as quickly as possible. Late payments can stay on your credit for up to seven years, but your recent payment history has a greater effect on your score.

2. They keep their credit card balances low.

How much debt you carry on your credit cards relative to your available credit—also known as credit utilization—is a good indicator of how easily you can make your debt payments. Although it’s typically recommended to keep your utilization under 30 percent, the lower the better. For example, prime consumers have an average utilization of 30 percent, whereas the super prime credit tier averages just 8 percent.

Takeaway: Credit card companies typically report to the credit bureaus once a month, so a good way to keep your credit utilization down is to find out when your issuer reports your information and make a payment before that date. Another option is to make payments more than once a month.

3. They apply for credit infrequently.

Every time you apply for credit, it results in a hard inquiry on your credit report, which can ding your score. Only 31 percent of people with super prime credit and 38 percent of people with prime credit had a hard inquiry on their reports in the past year. Having multiple credit inquiries in a short period of time may signal that you’re struggling financially and are using credit to get by, or you are living beyond your means.

Takeaway: Apply for credit only when you need it. Try to limit applications to once every six months to be safe.

4. They have patience.

Lenders are likely to consider you a risky borrower if you have little to no credit history. The longer you’ve been using credit, the easier it is for them to gauge how responsible you are. On average, super prime consumers opened their oldest credit account 27 years ago, while prime consumers started using credit 19 years ago.

Takeaway: While the length of your credit history isn’t as important as your payment history or credit utilization, you can benefit from keeping old credit card accounts open and using them regularly and responsibly.

There’s no get-excellent-credit-quick scheme. Rather, it’s important to establish these credit habits over the long run. The good news is that it’s never too late to improve your credit. While negative marks may stay on your report for years, recent good habits usually overshadow old bad ones.

http://www.success.com/article/4-financial-habits-of-people-with-excellent-credit

5 Steps to an Apology That Really Works

... and 3 rules for the tricky task of accepting an apology

Partner communication is never more important than during a conflict. The most common topics

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 of disagreement are:

1. Achieving a fair and satisfying balance of individual and couples activities;
2. Extended-family conflicts;
3. How to discipline a child;
4. The demands of everyday life; and
5. Money. 

Couples research has shown that partners with a "validating" style, in which each person’s view is understood and appreciated during a conflict, are most likely to describe themselves as satisfied, and their relationship as stable.

Source: Nicholas Raymond/Freestock/Creative Commons

Pinpoint the Problem

Think about a recent conflict you and your partner experienced, or one that occurs regularly. For example, imagine a situation where you face a decision about whether to spend some of your mutual savings on a beach trip. Ask yourself the following 4 questions to adopt a validating style:

1. What happened?

Be specific and objective—as though you were a reporter writing a news article.

I was reading an article online about the 10 best beaches to visit. It had been a stressful day at work and I was feeling irritated by the recent bad weather. When my partner came home from work, before he could settle in, I told him that I thought we should take an exotic beach holiday. He said that would be too much money. I replied that he is a cheapskate, never willing to spend money on anything fun. I stormed away, and went out to meet a friend.

2. What is there to be sorry about?

In a conflict, both parties usually have reason to apologize. Because you cannot control what your partner thinks, feels, or does, start by focusing on what made you feel bad about your part of the interaction.

I regret calling him a cheapskate. It is important for us to be saving money right now for our future. Walking out dramatically didn’t fix anything.

3. What could have been different?

Imagine hitting the Rewind button: Where might you have "paused" and "re-recorded" with a better comment?

I could have waited to talk to him—not right after he walked in the door—and then suggested a more modest trip. I could have expressed my wish to get away instead of labeling him a cheapskate. I could have stuck around even though I was upset, and let things settle down.

4. How high are the stakes?

On a scale from 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest, how important to you is this specific conflict? How will it impact your relationship if you sort it out, avoid it, or let it escalate?

The stakes are modest, say a 3. Where we go on vacation is not critical to our happiness. But it’s really important, a 5, that we get on the same page about spending and saving money. If we avoid it, we will keep fighting about it.

How to Apologize

What comes after "Sorry" will, of course, depend on what’s happened, but here are 5 more effective communication strategies to keep in mind:

1. Pick your moment wisely. We often hear, “Strike while the iron is hot.” With apologies, do the opposite: Wait until the conflict has cooled. This helps you prepare what to say, not just by way of apology but also by offering solutions or compromises.
2. Be specific. In the heat of an argument, nearly everyone tosses about the “always-es” and “nevers”—as though it is even possible for someone to “always” or “never” do something! Be careful not to generalize when offering an apology. For example,“I’m sorry that I raised my voice but you are always cutting me off mid-sentence”might be “I’m sorry that I raised my voice yesterday when we were disagreeing about childcare. I felt frustrated because I had not said all I wanted to say before you started to speak.”
3. Speak from your own perspective. The example above illustrates another critical part of an effective apology: Using “I” statements. Don’t blame your partner for your behavior. When you apologize, talk about emotions you experienced because your feelings are hard(er) to debate.
4. What you don’t say speaks volumes. No matter what words follow “I am sorry,” you will say a lot with eye contact, body posture, tone, and facial expression.Research
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    shows that we are great at reading others’ nonverbal cues. We respond to these cues not only with our thoughts, but with our physiology
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    (e.g., heart rate). Look your partner in the eye. Take an open stance. Speak calmly. Listen. Take your time.
5. Put yourself in your partner’s position. When apologizing, be sure to imagine standing in your partner’s shoes during the conflict and the apology. From your partner’s perspective, what warrants an apology? How did your actions make him or her feel? What does your partner need to feel understood and considered?

Apologizer, Beware

Depending on what type of apologizer you are, there are changes in your style you can make to avoid some apology land mines:

1. Over-Apologizer. Ask yourself if how you are feeling—guilty or anxious, perhaps—is far beyond any "crime" you have committed. Would you be this upset if you were in your partner’s shoes? When you apologize, listen carefully to your partner’s response; let them forgive, and respect their need for closure.
2. Under-Apologizer. Listen to your partner’s words and pay attention to non verbal cues. You may realize that you need to do more by watching your partner’s reactions. Look for their body posture to relax; that’s a good sign you have done what needs to be done.
3. Can’t-Get-It-Right Apologizer. Prepare your apology. Write a few short ideas down. Try out different options with a trusted friend. When you feel ready—even if you are still nervous—let your partner know that you’re really trying to do "sorry"’ differently, and try asking for feedback afterwards.

Letting It Go: The Art of Forgiveness

How can we all learn to graciously accept an apology?

1. Participate meaningfully in your partner’s apology. Listen actively, ask questions, and give body signals that show you understand.
2. Meet empathy with empathy. When a partner offers an apology, he or she is trying to see things from your perspective. You need to do the same.
3. Identify next steps. Once your partner says, “I’m sorry,” it’s your turn to respond. Offer ideas for compromise. Accept the apology. Don’t be shy about saying “thank you” and “I love you.”

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/managing-your-mindset/201506/5-steps-apology-really-works

Ways of Listening

When others speak to us there are several ways of listening that we implement. There is some reasoning behind each mode, when to implement each and why you might do this. Sometimes others truly seek advice and feedback. They really care about what you have to say. At other times you recognize that it is foolish to even imagine that the speaker has any intent of absorbing what you have to say.

For example, when Uncle Bob chatters endlessly and there is never a chance to add a comment or to intervene to stop his never-ending diatribe, listening is rarely full. This is what I call pretend listening. Pretend listening includes occasional head nods and sighs. This indicates to the speaker that you are engaged while to you it is simply a means of keeping yourself awake. The best part of pretend listening is that really the speaker is not interested in your ideas or reactions so the fact that you are not listening is never a problem. You will not be asked for insight or opinion as the speaker is replete with ideas and so no one else's thoughts are of value. The biggest problem with pretend listening is being able to disengage your body from the clutches of the blabbermouth. It seems these folks do not pause but rather somehow breath in and out as words pour forth. Sometimes the only way to end pretend listening is to slowly inch away. Yes, you may run but this draws attention while a dawdling exit may go completely unnoticed.

A second type of listening is that with half-an-ear. Half-an-ear entails listening, nodding, and sighing but with a tad bit more attention. A good example of this type of listening is when you are multi-tasking - unloading the dishwasher while young daughter complains about her math teacher or continuing an Internet search while a co-worker runs over the agenda for an upcoming meeting. You have half of that ear operational and ideas do flow in but because the opening is one-sided the true understanding of the conversation is tiny so many gaps occur when it comes to action and reaction. But at least you possess an inkling of the information shared and can answer questions or fill pauses with fairly adequate feedback.

One-ear listening pulls you further into the depths of a conversation. You hear, you respond, you offer advice but you are never fully engaged in the conversation. This may be because you are busy with other projects as in half-an-ear listening, but to differentiate it from that mode, with one ear you are listening only to the extent that you can insert your own ideas, adventures, advice, and knowledge. One-ear of the listener means the other ear is free to mull and roll and then prepare an onslaught of interesting, pertinent, and valuable comment and personal views. This listening is typical of an office boss where s/he is the boss and the rest of the employees are simply a part of the mob. They are important and their opinions matter but only as they work in accordance with the wishes of the boss. "I want your opinion" translates to "Glad you are thinking, however,... " This may be discouraging, but you can often fool yourself into thinking that your ideas do matter.

The final type of listening is complete, full-on, attentive, and compassionate. You listen (nodding and sighing are optional) without interruption or offering unsolicited advice. Even when you are asked an opinion, you respond in such a way that the deliverer of the speech is in charge of his or her own choices. Your lead-ins include words such as "What would happen if... ?" or "What do you think about... ?" enabling the speaker to reflect on what s/he has said, pick up nuances of wisdom from you, and then intertwine these to formulate a decision. You may have terrific ideas but you hold them close and release snippets as the speaker is ready to hear and each dose is small enough that thoughts and ideas can be integrated into the picture as they fit and are needed.

This fourth type of listening is exhausting. It is extremely difficult to withhold feedback as the speaker wanders through anxiety and trepidation. This person came to you because of your intelligence and astuteness and you could just spout off at will (sending you into half-an-ear/one-ear listening) but the recipient of your advice would then not be forced to fit your feedback into a package that solves issues with deep understanding. This whole-hearted listening also moves you out of the position of "fall guy" as you shared insight but you did not demand action. The speaker took his/her thoughts and mixed them to form a satisfying answer.

Of course, the degree of listening may vary throughout a conversation. Sometimes the pretend listening mode advances and your advice, once the speaker has worn out his/her voice, actually does want to know what you think and feel. The same is true with complete listening. Sometimes your frustration at another's lack of focus and direction may force you to blurt and assert to end a muddle of confusion. The most important information here is to be aware of your personal listening behaviors and note when and how you apply these. Also pay attention to how your listening is perceived. When the speaker actually notices your attentiveness and adjusts and manipulates your advice to become his/her own, you have accomplished something wonderful.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Ways-of-Listening&id=9079358

No Pretending - Authenticity Rules

Trials and tribulations, frets and worries abound. Many are valid, most as true, and all touch and change life. Because each encounter, regardless of its seeming importance of the moment, can be quite significant in the long run. And that is where individual authenticity becomes so valuable.

Authenticity is that genuineness that resonates from the soul, from the essence of being. It is the deep, down reality of an individual. It is what makes a person tick and tock; it is a natural rhythm and rock. It creates balance and stability because the person is true to the self, faithful to the heart, and sincere in the soul. While much of authenticity is automatic - we are who we are - it is sometimes difficult to maintain this characteristic. When we enter rough waters and restless situations, finding the "right" answer for ourselves, accepting that our right answer does not necessarily meet the needs of others, may require strength and perspiration not to mention intestinal fortitude.

Why would authenticity take so much effort, attention, and determination? I believe it is because basically most people are good. They care about others and they want to create and live in a healthy, happy world. Because of this outward regard, it is easy to lose sight of inward focus. We can lose track of our "self" as we attend to the wants and needs of others. And while we may be behaving with authentic concern, we sometimes disguise our real beliefs and understanding to placate another person's. A little loss can be a gain in the long run as we learn. A lot of loss can mean becoming sightless of the self.

Examples of this type of lost-ness might be spouses, especially if one is particularly domineering. It is often far simpler to give in, to relent, rather than stand up for a fight. Not a fistfight or screaming match, of course, but just taking a stance for a personal wish, desire, or dream and while being willing to reshape it also recognizing that staying with it is essential to authenticity. In an authentic relationship, both participants listen, offer feedback, and then compromise without losing sight of the true desires of the soul while accepting that give-and-take is valuable. Since authenticity by nature should be kind, even when ideas and opinions differ respect reigns and decisions are made with the very best intent.

Parents, especially in my observations, mothers, may become lost in child rearing. In this case it is not so much that authenticity vanishes but that concern for another being supersedes all choices and situations. Part of this is good - parenting is a tremendous responsibility where selfishness must be put aside for the well-being of the child. Parents determined to remain in their own self-centered realm while children self-raise are relinquishing a key component of the parenting role. But this responsibility does not mean total loss of self, but rather a strengthening of moral fiber that will be reflected and absorbed by children.

I find authenticity to be a challenging but gratifying characteristic. I believe I have the genuineness and honesty areas under control and I believe that most people with whom I work recognize this in my behavior and deeds. I also admit that sometimes I waffle and waver to try to satisfy others and that is when bits of my authenticity slip away. The good thing is that these slippings are recoverable. Just because I bow to another today to try to pull a team together does not mean that this part of me is forever lost. I can regroup, re-examine, and regain that authenticity that makes me, me.

http://ezinearticles.com/?No-Pretending---Authenticity-Rules&id=9082126

A Better You? Don't Forget the Self-Compassion Ingredient

Our modern culture encourages self-criticism because it believes that it actually motivates us to be successful and without fail, frowns on any individual who believes in extending compassion to themselves. What the society is not aware of, is that self-criticism is actually self-destructive motivator; is like giving a child a hand-grenade to play with - it will eventually blow them up. Self-criticism plants the feeling of unhappiness and lack of self-esteem in its victim and that feeling stays with them even if they become successful later in life.

Self-criticism becomes a ball of chain that holds its prey down in the long run.

Society needs to preach self-compassion. Self-compassion is the ability of one to not only feel sympathy for others, but also the ability to enclose themselves in that compassion; being kind, taking one's interests and being into consideration during trials and disappointments. People with self-compassion tend to:

• find happiness,
• feel as part of their society,
• be content with who they are in life,
• gain in-depth understanding of the world easily,
• be responsible for themselves and their actions,
• be optimistic; they do not let adversity define them.
• easily rebound from their mistakes with ease because of their emotional resilience.

One of the fatal mistakes that people tend to make is to confuse self-compassion with self-pity; the truth is, the two are just a world apart. A person with the former personality knows how to treat themselves with love and sympathy whilst a person with the latter is usually prone to exaggerating their personal problems and will easily drift into self-absorbed sorrow over their misfortune.

A person who suffers from self-pity has a habit of believing that they are victims of the situation even if evidence says otherwise. People with self-pity are usually prone to invite everyone and anyone who cares enough to listen to them to their misery party and anyone who tries to assist them by trying to shake them from that emotional path is deemed to be an enemy.

Take an example of an example of two people with the same predicament but with different temperament:

Student A and Student B sat for their end of year examinations. Both of the students failed the examination and par the College Board regulations, they are both required to resit for their examinations.

Student A was disappointed with the results; he sat down and went over the things that might have led to him failing. Amongst the list were lack of motivation and poor study habits. He told himself that failure is part of life and should never define a person but what should, is the actions that follow the setback. He decided to step up and be responsible towards his schoolwork and study hard and smart in preparation for his retake.

Student B on the other hand blamed his lecturers for not being good enough, he claimed that he was not given enough time to prepare himself (even though he had a whole year to do so); he also claimed that the exam was leaked to some students but when asked to bring forward evidence or to bring the case to the board he claimed he had no time for that; above all, he argued that the lecturers at his college hate him and that is why they failed him (he wrote the examination online and he got his marks before he left the exam room). He however overlooked the fact that he did not attend most of his classes; he came drunk to the exam room.

The difference between the two students is that Student A owned up to his mistakes first and then extended self-compassion to himself whilst Student B decided to wallop in self-pity and victimised himself.

Self-compassion is having the skill of giving one's best even after going through adversity because of the awareness and acknowledgement that failure and part and parcel of life and as such should not be feared. It the ability to transcend disappointment and seeing one's self as capable but above all is having flexible mind-set rather than a rigid one that will enable them to bounce back.

People who are self-compassionate usually treat themselves kindly and fairly and therefore tend to develop emotional resilience. Simply put, self-compassion is practising the Reverse Golden Rule: treat yourself as you would treat others. It should be noted that Reverse Golden Rule is best practised by an individual who already practice the Golden Rule.

Ways to improve self-compassion:

• Learn to forgive yourself for any mistakes you have committed in the past and take in account that mistakes are part of life and therefore you are bound to make them in the future. Self-judgement does not solve any problem, as matter of fact it makes matters worse as it makes an individual see all their wrongs.

• Give yourself positive talks; express your gratitude to yourself for all the times you have managed to meet your goals or have risen above failure. Avoid down-talking yourself at any cause.

• Treat yourself the same way you will treat someone you care about who is going through difficulties.

• Give yourself an occasional hugs especially whenever going through disappointments. Practice mind and spiritual purification and self-reflection activities such as yoga.

https://ezinearticles.com/?A-Better-You?-Dont-Forget-the-Self-Compassion-Ingredient&id=9073907