During a toxic relationship or relationship with a Narcissist we typically become so addicted to keeping them happy that we forget about taking care of ourselves. We put them first on our priority list and make sure that we are catering to their every need. Only to realize that what we do will never be acknowledged, appreciated or enough for a Narcissist. We make ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally sick by not putting our own happiness first. And this is one of the hardest lessons we learn after a break up with a Narcissist. After we leave them or they discard us for new supply, we are left with only ourselves to look at. But we have been so used to taking care of their needs that we don't know how to care for ourselves anymore. So where can we start?
The first thing you can do is become brutally honest with yourself and come to accept that you have placed yourself on the back burner for way too long. To understand that your happiness and self care should always be your priority. Even to be a good parent and to meet your children's needs, you can't pour from an empty cup. You must begin to make extreme Self care a daily habit. Your health and well being are important. Without it your quality of life is greatly diminished. Some things that have helped me to begin Self care is to take a few minutes every day for myself. In those few minutes I make sure I am doing something towards my own Healing and recovery.
Things such as reading a book on Narcissistic Abuse, writing, taking a warm bath, going for a walk, listening to podcasts or YouTube videos on Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse, Art Therapy, listening to music, spending time in nature, watching a funny movie, talking to a friend, painting my nails, drinking a nice cup of coffee, anything that brings you joy and comfort is self care. You can add your own unique things to this list. Taking the time to care for yourself will be a huge step forward in your own Healing. We must learn to make ourselves a priority again. Because ultimately the most important relationship you will have, is the relationship you have with yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect. So begin by treating yourself with respect first.