They Ruined My Whole Life


I have no intention in this article to belittle the hurt and harm people do to others. Those hurts can be anywhere from small to enormously devastating, physically and mentally. Whether intentional or unintentional, all of us experience hurt or harm from others at one time or another.

Life's not fair. Life is often very challenging. Okay, should I have just said, "Life is hard," instead? Yes, agreed, it is hard at times.

But most of us can safely say things happening to us could be a lot worse, right? Not to be uncompassionate to those who do have it a lot worse, but admitting things could be worse doesn't really help us much.

My point here is not to argue who has the biggest challenge in life. Rather, it's to address a phrase I've heard a number of times in my life by those suffering hurt or harm from someone: "They ruined my whole life!"

I don't believe anyone can ruin my whole life. Someone could take my life away from me, but I am the one who determines if my whole life is ruined or not. Words we speak to ourselves are very powerful and they have consequences.

The word "ruin" by definition means, "destruction or disintegration of something or the state of being destroyed." If I acknowledge that someone or something ruined my whole life, then where can my life possibly go? Nowhere!

Again, I'm not belittling anyone's pain. But, as long as I am alive, regardless of any hurt or loss, I am still alive! My whole life has not been destroyed.

We've all heard stories about people suffering physical tragedies who decided to live their lives to the fullest regardless of physical loss to their bodies. Incredibly challenging? Absolutely.

Meanwhile, there are others who attest, "It ruined my whole life." Many who experience bankruptcy, divorce, or the death of a loved one cry out, "It ruined my whole life!"

I say, no! No! No!

If you're alive, regardless of your circumstances, with God's help, choose to live to the fullest you possibly can. Of course that's so much easier said than done, but if you don't, where is your life going to go? You will be part of a very sad group of folks who look back to a person or an event and say, "They ruined my whole life."

The Bible talks about the power of life and death in things we say. It talks about how the thoughts we carry affect our very lives. It says, "As he thinks in his heart, so is he."

It really is very detrimental and devastating to think and say, "They ruined my whole life!" Things happen to us that are outside of our control. But the thoughts I think, the words I speak, especially about myself, those are my choices, and they will yield results.

And so, we all do the best we can today, and then, the best we can tomorrow. We know the day is coming when the Lord Jesus Christ will return. At that day, a new life begins, and the former things of this life will all be passed away.

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