So you realize you are prone to self sabotage, now what? You recognize the pattern of getting almost to your dreams and then at the last moment, BAM! You mess it up! You are not the only one, most of us do the same thing, sometimes for years, even a whole life time.
What is the answer? Accept that it's all in your head. All the beliefs that you use to continuously set yourself up for failure are located between your ears. They are like a computer program that doesn't ask questions about truth or falsehood or right or wrong, they just determine the next action. For the computer that's a good thing as it helps us to use the technology without having to reprogram it over and again. But, for a life, it's not so sweet a deal.
Let's start with a simple exercise to get this straightened out. Take a few moments to close your eyes and breathe deeply. Allow your shoulders to relax. Continue breathing this way for another minute or two. Now go backwards in memory watching a replay of all those times you sabotaged yourself. Time travel back to the first experience of it. How old were you? Where were you? Who was there with you?
Allow yourself to watch as the experience unfolds in your mind. While watching ask yourself, "was it true"? Quite often these patterns of self harm were begun in early childhood with a word from someone important to you tore down your self esteem. Watch closely as the situation unfolds in your memory. Was it TRUE then?
When you come to the place that what started this whole process of making sure you fail wasn't true at the very start, pause and ask yourself, "is it true now"? When you come to the conclusion that not only was it untrue many years ago, but that it's never been true, so it can't be true now, exhale deeply and quickly. Let go of the past and rework it in your imagination.
By revising or recreating the situation the way it "should" have been in order to promote your success and personal sense of well being, you have added a new program. Now practice this new program each day. Confirm that the truth is that you are deserving of success, happiness, joy and health. Affirm that your relationships or supportive and loving.
Begin a journal where you only include these new programs. Write down all the evidence that begins to show up proving to you that this is the truth. You are on the way to accepting your power to create the life you dream of. Stay the course.