Finding time can develop naturally from befriending yourself. That may sound counter-intuitive to those of us who tend to be very productive and driven... very demanding of ourselves. But if you are someone who might be inclined to scold herself into productivity, consider trying a friendlier approach. I think you'll appreciate how much better this feels... not to mention how much better it actually WORKS!
Think about it. If you're working fully in sync with yourself, on friendly terms, when you get stuck, you'll want to work WITH yourself to come up with new options, rather than secretly protecting a cherished time trap!
For example, perhaps you've fallen into the habit of spending an hour (or more) on Facebook before bedtime. It doesn't feel good, but you keep doing it. Resist the temptation to indulge in a cycle of self-criticism and defensiveness about it. Instead, ask yourself, with friendly curiosity, what this pastime gives you. Promise yourself that you won't respond harshly to whatever answer you provide.
Maybe you discover that you choose to lose yourself on Facebook to tune out difficult feelings about a situation at work or at home that requires you to step out of your comfort zone. Disconnecting from yourself helps you numb the anxiety.
And now, because you're not feeling defensive, you can also admit to yourself that ignoring the issue keeps you from coming up with a solution.
Next, you can create a climate for change. Physically remove yourself from the computer, and sit quietly for a few minutes. Find a simple phrase, like "How can I help myself?" to establish a mood of trust and inner confidence. Listen for messages from your heart.
By creating psychic space for gently exploring challenges, you reaffirm your power of choice. Sometimes, a clear answer will emerge. Other times, as you conduct this ongoing, friendly conversation with yourself, the urge to disconnect simply slips away. Not only that, but you also start taking small steps to begin to address whatever you had been avoiding.
Notice how being open to yourself can expand your sense of possibilities, and free up time, too! This widening spiral of acceptance starts with compassion, and ends with gratitude.
And don't wait for the 'right time' to start doing this. ANY time is a good time to activate your compassion and initiate a friendly dialogue with yourself.
Last but definitely not least, don't forget to celebrate, as you free yourself from the time traps that you discover!
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