"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done".
Many a time, you have your mind locked up in regrets over some actions or in-actions. May be some things you had done or those you should have done, are making you feel some regrets. Such feelings can be dangerous, because they will slow down of activities. Whoever says that the mind is not central to mobility is deceptive or out-rightly ignorant. The state of the mind at any point in time, affects body psyches and gestures.
Regrets are serious burdens on the mind. They are very similar to the heavy load on the head which retards speed and makes destinations very distant. Harbouring regrets can overturn happiness, excitement and smiles within a twinkle of the eye; sadness, moodiness and frowns set in. The aftermath could be inimical to progress and the future.
The simple reality is that nobody can help you as yourself. You must get the motivation to move away from that spot. You must find the inspiration to break loose and get going. This can be a bit hard. However, getting locked down is worse. The following are tips to help you overcome your regrets:
1. Determine the nature.
Our people often say that a problem known is half-solved. You must, first, identify what precisely is the cause of the regret. Is it something you had done or not? Is it private, domestic, official, social, or otherwise? Does it have to do with a relation or a relationship? Since man cannot stay in isolation, you are bound to be in interactions at anytime and all the time. Determining your source of regret will surely help know where and how to start the rebuilding process. It is the most primary and fundamental step.
2. Seek forgiveness and make amends.
There are two stages under this step. You have to, first of all, ask yourself for forgiveness. If your mind, by extension, your heart, is not willing to let go, it could be hard to move on. After you would have determined the cause of your regret, you have to make peace with your troubled heart. Your body system must realize that life is progressive; this situation will pass away. Often times, some of our actions and in-actions add-up to our bag of experience. The second is to ask for the forgiveness of those affected. This is, without doubt, the hardest stage. Do not let pride deprive of the fullness of life. If you do not get this done with you may not get over your regret.
3. Take responsibility and accept the circumstances.
You must be ready to take responsibility for all circumstances there-in. Happiness comes from total resignation to fate. For you to make amends there is need to accept responsibility. Do not engage in blaming others for what should be your responsibility. Stop it! Do not pass the buck. This will never start the rebuilding process. Even, when you know that others had a thing or two to do with your regret, forgiving and forgetting will never kill. If you wait on them, they can inflict more harm and deeper regret. Your desire for happiness is more important than insisting they are problems.
4. Deal with bad relationships.
When other people are actually your reasons for regrets, learn to deal with them. For example, a love relationship you had invested so much in, but your partner is reciprocating far less than required. In fact, you are already out of the trip by virtue of your own decision. You had dealt with it and you have to move on. A case when you cannot avoid seeing or coming in contact with such a person, pray and work hard to put him/her in his/her place. A fruitless tree, it is often said, should be cut down; not in all cases. What if you do not have the "axe" for that kind of strenuous work? You could do well by just passing by it and not giving attention. Sooner or later, the wound will heal and you become a normal person.
5. Go through the mourning period.
It could be good for you to allow the situation to occur freely and naturally. Regrets are part of the natural circles that carry along with them feelings of guilt, sadness and even anger. Your ability to handle the passage of these feelings, often termed as negative, strengthens you, without mincing words. Is it not absurd to be happy all the times of life? It is not even possible. Life throws us up, down, right and left. We learn everyday in this expansive classroom. So, do not run away from regrets, you could come out stronger and happier.
6. Identify the lessons and gains.
There will be a lesson to learn or an important thing to gain after overcoming your regrets. Experience can never be bought; life gives ample opportunities for you to gain one thing or the other. You just cannot afford to shy away from such significant reality. You, also, had to pass an examination before you gained that promotion or certification. Taking stocks is very good. There must have been some things you had learnt or gained that will come in handy for the future. Please, this is very important, as you do not want to fall prey again to similar predating circumstances. Once beaten, they say, is twice shy.
7. Take care of the future.
The future is key to your existence and your present circumstances can damage it. You must try as much as you can to avoid letting your regret re-emerge in the future. Documenting your experience and, ultimately, your regret(s) can serve as reminders. Some people keep diaries while others attach symbols or landmarks to signify points of regret(s). Whatever methods you utilize, however, do not let it be a source recollection of bad memories. The idea is just for you to avoid having this kind of regret again in the future; it can be devastating.
In your passionate desire to live life to the fullest; to enjoy as much as you can, your inner self, carries a string of connecting information of those things you will have engaged in. How you manage this information, which are your experiences, determines your progress. Regrets are surely part of these experiences. You just cannot do nothing other than understanding how to manage them. They are part of you! They are part of your life!
"I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences... I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else".