"Wow! Congratulations on a job well done!" I say to Sue, my client. She says, "I was just lucky."
I know that seems like no big deal, but it is. This is a very simple example of a fear of success. Most people want to succeed, but as soon as they do, what often ensues is a fear of success, and it is often invisible to themselves. They begin doing things to self-sabotage.
When you cannot own your power, own your success, own your accomplishments, you are afraid of success. When I inquire with my clients, (and I have dealt with this myself), there is something that is hidden from view. What is hidden is some version of the questions: "If I am highly successful, people (fill in the blank name) will expect it from me-how will I keep it up or do better?" OR "What if it was a fluke, and I fail, what will they think of me then?" Or "I don't want anyone to count on me, then I will have to xxxx (fill in the blank for yourself (e.g. perform, do something more than I want, etc.).
If you can dismiss your success with it is luck or you got a break or it was somehow a fluke or some entity/power had you do it, you don't have to own your own greatness, your own power. With owning your power, your success, your brilliance, comes being responsible for it as well. And frankly, in a general sense, we, as individuals don't want to be responsible for a lot of things.
Consider this---If I am responsible, people (or a person) will expect me to keep doing great things and will expect more from me. With that expectation, comes a fear of failing to keep it up. If I fail, they will be disappointed or mad or some version of upset. I will be embarrassed or ashamed and will look like a fool. I will avoid that at all costs. We, as individuals, do not want to look stupid or bad in any way, so we sabotage ourselves if there is any risk of this.
Sound familiar? I invite you to look at this for yourself. This is incredibly common. I know it looks like you are really trying to be more and more successful, but if you are willing, you may discover you are really afraid to succeed. You often sabotage your own success this way and are your own worst enemy.
If you want to succeed, you will need to allow yourself to get past your self sabotaging behavior. Next time you have a success and you want to dismiss it as anything other than you did a great job, I invite you to ask yourself this simple line of questions:
1. What am I afraid of?
2. If that happens, what is the worst thing that could happen?
3. If that worst thing does happen, will I be OK?
Asking yourself these simple questions allows you to be consciously aware of your own self sabotage and allows you to break your habit. Then, own your power and your greatness knowing you can survive if you have a failure in the future and are disappointed or look bad.
This may seem simplistic, but I can tell you in coaching thousands of people, it is very impactful. This process has caused many people to stop being their own worst enemy and take their success to the next level! I invite you to do the same.