Often times I have clients come to me and ask me to fix them. They say that they are "messed up." I tell them that they're not mess up, they're just miss informed about themselves, the way they should be living, what they should be doing and most of all they are misinformed about what "normal" really is!
The definition of normal
According to the dictionary, the definition of normal is conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
The problem with the word "normal" is that there are so many mixed signals about what "normal" really is, based on our circle of influences, what our parents tell us, what schools tell us, what we see on TV, hear on the news and what we see on Social Media.
The cycle of madness
Most people are so caught up in wanting to be told what is normal, that they get caught up in this cycle of madness, trying to find it, have someone tell them what normal is and to just be able to fit in.
The Big Fear
The big fear for many people out there is the fear of rejection. They fear that if they are not what they perceive or are trying to perceive as normal, they won't fit in and they will be rejected, tossed aside and possibly die, so there is a lot of attachment to becoming normal. But again, what is normal really?
The social media crap trap
One of newest and now largest contributors to feeling messed up (next to our parents) is social media. Yes, those wonderful photos and posts that are posted everywhere for all the world to see of happy people, couples in love, success, money, travel, friendships, great food, PERFECTION, everything looks perfect and happy not a care in the world, no problems, these people aren't messed up, so why are you all messed up!
They are just photos and posts, most of these people are just as messed up as you! (See you are normal after all! ) The real truth is, that "normal" has so many different perceptions, beliefs and opinions that you really can't judge your actions, character, your life and your happiness based on what someone else says.
So here are 3 ways to get better informed about yourself
1. Catch yourself every time you find yourself getting envious of others on Facebook, Instagram or anything else and allow those emotions to pass. Remember that those people have their own problems that you don't know about as well.
2. Learn more about who you are and what your biggest strengths are by diving into quizzes and studies about your brain type, organizational style, personality type and so on. You might find that the reason why you keep getting fired from office jobs is because you are a creative person and office jobs don't work for you, regardless of how hard you try.
3. Get some support from a qualified person to help rebuild your self-esteem and find groups of like minded people to support you as well. You've gone a long time believing that you were messed up, so now its going to take some work to reverse that old belief and change your perception about yourself, but with a little work and the right support, you may just start believing that it's everyone else who is messed up and not you!