How to Work Through the Pain to Get to the Pleasure

Some, not all of us realize that we need to work through our experiences in a conscious fashion rather than analyze, over and over again in our minds what happened and tell ourselves, in our head, that we're okay and we're ready to move on. We tell ourselves such stories! Such tales of garbage.

The Ego is strong and wants to keep you petty and immature. The truth hurts sometimes, yes, it does free you from the constraints of your past history and allow you to see a different way to behave. This opportunity to see through a different lens rather than our own limiting view are the times when we access important information about ourselves and life that was always there but hidden. The learning process may not be easy, but it's full of lessons that bring us wisdom we can't find any other way.

The desire to press fast-forward leads to escapism, contradiction, and denial, all three of which prolong our difficulties and in some cases make them worse. Our willingness to be direct, clear, and courageous in the face of our circumstances gives us the tools to finding peace, understanding and love again, allowing us to move through the situation with resolutions not seen or available to us before.

Yes! I said resolutions! More than one. Armed with this understanding, you may begin to realize that trying to find the fast-forward button is probably not the best option, perhaps it's about pressing the pause button. When you truly grasp, deep down inside that the only way out of any situation in which you find yourself, whether it's easy or difficult is to go through it, you stop looking for ways to escape and start paying close attention to what is happening, in the moment.

This is the first step to shifting your current perspective and putting on a different lens. You, now present in this moment, realize that you are exactly where you need to be. You can now choose a course of action instead of doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. With this new found awareness comes something you didn't know before and will now help you make a better choice.

The process of awareness can be easy, gentle and kind or a hard hitting crack between the eyes, either way it depends on how willing you are to give up being right, making someone else wrong or dominating another and choose love, peace, or compassion instead.

Choose to see all perspectives. Get clear on what you would love in your life, is it getting along better with your spouse now that the kids are gone? Is it peace in your work relationships? Understanding yourself?

Love, passion, affinity, contentment, courage, all these feelings are available to you so are hate, annoyed, tense, fearful, guilt, shame. Positive thinking alone will not shift your perspective, but balanced thinking, which opens the heart to gratitude and love will. In the moment you might be ready to fire and employee but with perspective, balanced thinking, you'll see there's more going on than you thought.

When you feel the urge to press the fast-forward button, remember that you are not alone; we all instinctively avoid pain. But in doing so, we often prolong our pain and delay important opportunities to learn. As you choose to move forward in real time and see all sides of the circumstance, obstacle or challenge, ask yourself how does what I think stifle me or serve me?

This balanced thinking will lower your stress and increase your vitality, comprehension and enthusiasm.

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