Why do you feel giving 100% of yourself to something in the first place? And why notice the small stuff not adding up? The attempt to create a new idea, as in building a social network, even landing roles for an audition to simply work on your own to make some money... DID YOU think to yourself it will be easy? (I didn't). What about your stage presence in the world at large, did you wonder if one form of acting had anything to do with your not acting well in other places of your life?
Me, I had a "why" question for everything. From why my life worked or didn't, to why my hustle or ambition wasn't aligning any more to my reality than my personal clarity reflecting my own inner authority. Did I REALLY even feel "at all" I can change these things about my life in the first place; From my fixed work habits to new beginnings, assuming I had some access and control to the power stage (within me already activated and design to help me win.)
This level of awareness is where I found I've been saving for others the saying: EXPERIENCE is THE BEST TEACHER, and not ever once considering it for myself. I missed the part where I am THE CREATOR of my own Masterpiece.
I would block out the rest of the world (mentally) just to tune my mind some where I was not to keep from discovering my own life's energy. I sometimes felt I was a record spinning out of control and muted most of the times whole songs (EVENTS) playing noise in my head, I eventually got to the place where SOMETHING had to give: where I'd tell close friends... KNOW what your saying to YOURSELF even though I didn't follow my own advice. It happened all the time in shifts of NOW.
The hardest TIME in the world is... MOVING and fast and right in the right direction. Many of us are looking for the light, except the insight might seem to be holding still...
"Humming." To do what everybody else is doing. THIS is the action position many of us are using for a POST UP stage presence..to FEEL included or joined in synced to the frequency of A TIME. Except this is not enough to later feel honored or represented... like taking medicine not knowing if you got the illness or even are sick.
We can miss the moments to SHINE, acting unaware of ourselves..being lost in our sense of what today might be about; sometime reasoning is not enough and never gaining CONSCIOUSNESS in part, while we drift in our so called PASSIONS, seeming full with gaps minus any type of luck or opportunity. I think in a heartbeat we all experience a kind of VIBE which does go unnoticed, it is this power within that touches us AND at given 100% of our self to an ACT.
My point the next time you feel your stuff is not adding up and feeling frustrated to go along with every BODY around you..instead go within your own heart. Find your shortcomings, your misgivings or the doubts. While therein is the feedback and everything which will remind you of the emotional wave that keeps you out of touch with your best character, YOU.
Open to the sea of experience, appearing to crash over the growth (pain) in each fade of tides to a single blend. Start showing up AS YOURSELF..even when NATURALLY we're suppose to... ACT LIKE WAVES baring a stage presence not of our own makings, it is this finding of our experience for BEING EMOTIONAL something miraculous happens! Sometimes the vibe of risking it all for THE OPPORTUNITY pulls us IN and unsuspectingly to feel free! Most times it will not happen all at once... especially when we act alone. Pay attention I say..we are able to collect the moments... A PARADISE of our own makings.