It is an established fact that change is the only constant in life. Despite being aware of this, we somehow expect all good things to remain as they are forever. We forget that life is based on the continual occurrence of the cycle of birth and death and everything else in between. Therefore, expecting life to remain at a standstill is highly unrealistic!
Many gradual changes are part of life and we accept them as such, be it changing seasons, evolving relationships, or the ever-changing dynamics of professional lives. As long as the changes within each of these are nominal or gradual, we are able to adapt and accept the reality that there are good days and there are bad days, and we are okay with that.
But what happens when life throws you a curve ball and suddenly you find yourself in a situation for which you are not prepared?
This usually means that you've been forced out of your comfort zone by a change that is inevitable, and whatever the reason, this huge change can cause you to lose your balance in life, even for a little while.
Your life may change drastically in an hour or a minute, or even in a few seconds, and nothing will ever be the same. When you find yourself in a moment like this, you may feel like you're walking on a tightrope, struggling to find your balance and convinced that you will fall into an abyss.
Frustrated is probably a small word for what you feel, but this is the time when you need to be strong and focus on what can be done to get you back on track.
From spilled coffee to lost keys, to a misplaced cell phone, there are innumerable negative incidents that can put us in a slump. But what if a negative incident of greater significance occurs, such as falling out with your best friend or life-partner, the loss of a job or a terrible car accident?
Sadly, we are the toughest on ourselves when something like this happens. Most of us react by indulging in self-victimization, angry reactions, or self-blame, often slipping into depression or dejection.
You may have to go through all these emotions before you come upon the realization that none of it was yours or anyone else's fault. Give yourself a break! As long as you are living in this world, there will be ups and downs. If it is any consolation, understand that you are not the only individual on earth faced with downturns.
Negative events can happen to anyone and it is only how you select to deal with the turn of events is what will set you apart. You can manage negative situations in a positive manner and come out stronger, wiser and a better person by following these steps:
Releasing your frustrations will help because if you stifle them, you may collapse with the stress. Write about your problem, or talk to a friend or family member. Exercising or going for a walk also does wonders.
Give yourself time to be sad or grieve; a week or a few days, or whatever you feel you need to come to terms with the unfortunate incident. Beyond that self-assigned deadline, you need to get back to your usual routine and take charge of your life!
Remember that you are not the only one going through a difficult life event like yours and there is surely someone else somewhere in the world who is experiencing the same struggle. This will help you to get over the feeling of being a victim.
Understand that feeling frustrated about what you cannot undo will keep the problem as it is. Reflect calmly on what you can do to resolve your problem and focus on finding solutions.
Never believe yourself to be up against a wall; you can always choose how to react. You may not have any control over external events, but your reactions and behavior are always in your control.
Look at the incident that has upset you objectively and remove all your feelings from the analysis. Consider yourself standing outside the incident viewing it as it happens to someone you don't know. This will enable you to objectify the event.
Turn your focus and attention on what you can do to make the situation better. Taking the smallest action towards resolving the problem will make you feel empowered. Not only does action create possibilities, it also brings results. Instead of being a passive receiver, you are now a thoughtful creator.
Don't hesitate to ask for help from friends, family or colleagues. Go through your list of contacts and see who you know who can help you get out of this crisis. Remember that you would do the same if your friends needed your help.
Rather than an obstacle, see your problem as a step in your life's journey towards learning. A negative incident is an obstacle if it stops you from reaching your objectives, and if you continue to overcome the curved balls as they come, you are moving ahead in life.
You must always learn a lesson from a negative life incident, so look for the one you need to learn from this experience and apply it to yourself so that you never have to face this situation again.
Irrespective of what life throws at you, if you're coping with it in a constructive manner, remember that no one and nothing can pull you down!