Sometimes as a therapist I get the question: How can I become a better person? And the answer is simple: the key to becoming a better person is helping others.
We realize we don't like our present self, and wish to change it, but how? I realized that we have to learn how to mold a different self; a different version of us. And it all boils down to accepting we have caused so much pain with our nasty self, and it's time to change it.
We start by making a decision about change. We realize we have to start sculpting ourselves slowly piece by piece; we know changing won't happen over night, and we're conscious of that. There will no shortcuts, no dishonesty, and we really have to commit to our ourselves to ourselves.
We start by carving new ideas; our old traditional way was in the way of learning a new way of seeing ourselves. We have to think completely different to become different, better.
We begin to mold a new version of ourselves. We mold, shape, and eventually must learn to accept our own art; the new version of our selves taking form: life. There might be parts of our selves we might disagree with, but we are not sculptors, so we resist going back to our old self. We despise the old, and admire the new.
We allow the new better version of our selves we have carved out to guide us, to move us around, to become our new personality, and succumb to it. We must completely surrender our selves to our new selves.
Once we become a new version of our selves we maintain it by putting it to practice by lending our carving tool to another. Helping someone else by reaching out to them. When their tool is blunt, we let them borrow our own. In the process we become useful for another.
We must become tools of growth for another. We reach out to those who need our support, love, a helping hand, we connect with those in need as much as possible; especially to those who need a sharper tool.
There will be many people in the world who need our support, and through our help they grow. They will carve, and shape themselves as we have. Those are the people you must reach out to.
In that process of giving, you learn to feel valuable within. Sometimes some describe this as a sense of happiness, or joy in their hearts; this fulfillment begins to germinate inside of us. This is the newer version of you being born. It paves the way to more personal growth. It's amazing to help another carve a better version of themselves.
It's worth being part of someone else's life. Mustard the courage to keep reaching out to others, and do not be afraid if they mistreat your tool, happiness will be filled in your heart. We must convince ourselves the same carving tool we used will be useful, and valuable for another. Learn to reach out to those who have potential, growth, a live spirit etc...
We tend to help those who help themselves. We feel alive when we are able to accompany another in making their lives a bit better. Helping another human being grow gives us the motivation we need to keep feeling alive. It gives us purpose, satisfaction that we are useful human beings.
We must allow ourselves to step in, give them a hand, and when we see our work being put to good use in another human being, we feel content with our selves. We smile.
You know what also motivates us to help others when we love to see our work crop fruit. We enjoy seeing positive outcomes in others when they take full advantage of our help, we feel that we haven't wasted our time, or resources in them; this makes it easier for us to reach out more.
"We grow when we reach out to many who allow us to be part of their lives."
There might be obstacles we will face when becoming a better person-
For instance, how many times have we found ourselves denying another help? Or found ourselves able to improve another's life, but we refused ourselves to them because of our own personal selfish motives, or beliefs.
Can you recall a time when you were desperate for help, and someone you least expected lent you their chisel: opened their arms to you? You have to be that person that gives. You have to reach out to them as they have done it for you, and be the change the world needs that is unexpected. That is how you grow.
Recall that feeling when you were helped, how did it feel? That same exact feeling you felt when you were helped is something you can also give as a gift to another.
"Part of growing into a better person is giving"
Others feel it when you help or deny yourself to them. They are human, they have feelings just as much as you do. The point here is this: help when least expected, and see how much you will grow. I guarantee you'll feel amazing about yourself.
Second tip, we change by having a kind heart, and empathy for another. Our heart must be kind, sincere and empathetic for another. Believe the other has good intentions, see potential in them and your heart will growing love for them.
We do this by removing all selfish thoughts from our minds, and believe the person we are helping also has a kind heart that needs healing. We make a heart to heart connection with them. Be of kind heart, always.
Thirdly, to grow into a better person you have to reach out to those no matter the circumstances, and do not expect something in return. We make the error thinking we are doing someone else a favor, no. If you help, do not expect something in return, that is selfish, and manipulative when you expect something in return. That is not of a kind heart.
We open our selves completely to another expecting nothing in return.
Sometimes in life we forget to thank those who help us; who saw potential in us, and helped improve our lives. We must remind ourselves to thank them, show gratitude for what they have done for us knowing we would be unable to return the favor.
"Thank those who helped you become a better person".
If you can help another human being you'll become a better person in the process, it helps your heart grow fonder, kinder and loving.
As we began to help others in our lives, something inside of us makes us human; by making someone else's life a little bit better: we get ahead in life too by growing emotionally. In other words we become emotionally mature, and confident with our abilities.
It shows a more human side of us that needs to be felt, or expressed once in a while. This allows our heart to receive, and let in peace and tranquility. Feeling human is part of growing.
Why do you feel amazing when you help?
Reaching out to others gives us a sense of feeling useful; it gives us a purpose to exist, live and for others it gives them a sense of significance, or importance to live too because the other feels that someone cares. It makes the other believe they matter. This is a gift we must practice more with each other. Becoming part of another person's life we find ourselves that we matter too.
We go through life seeking significance and meaning and this is an opportunity for us to begin developing that feeling in our life.
Last, becoming a better human being we need to build a connection with another. As we journey in life helping others we build these relationships with many, giving us meaning, and feelings that we matter, we must care and we must love. Learn to show interest in another human being, invest time, interest and worry and you'll become a better version of yourself. They'll see that you're human.