So, there you are, out in the world... how's it been for you? Do you find people even ask that question anymore? Truly, when did somebody last look deep into your eyes and connect with the you that is inside, deep down, and really ask, 'please, let me know how you are doing... are you happy? What are your dreams?" We might wonder who really cares enough about us in that way - who cares enough to ask the questions that your soul wants to hear about? Where are all those connections?
And the truth is, we do need these connections. They are one of the things that scientists now identify keeps us happy. Let's call it 'positive interaction'. When we are happily communicating with each other, laughing, having fun or just being in the company of other people in nice, pleasant ways, then we are encouraging chemicals in the brain, such as neurotransmitters like serotonin, to be produced and when we produce these neurotransmitters we are happy and we can cope better with life.
What else can help us? Well most of us heard it said that exercise makes you feel better and it's true, it's one of our three positive steps that we need. We call it "positive action". One of the best times I had recently was standing on the beach, listening to the waves roll in whilst myself and a friend played Frisby. How amazingly relaxing and exhilarating that was, almost like being a child again. When we give ourselves permission to play and be child-like we can forget our cares and worries and life can just be simple again. I didn't need to spend money on expensive activities or join a gym - exercise can be almost anything at any time and it can fit into anybody's life.
The third thing we need in order to feel really good is positive thinking. Yes, that old chestnut. But, really, dismiss it at your peril. Most of us aren't even aware of the negative thoughts that bombard our minds constantly. Not to mention self talk. When you talk to yourself are you being nice, or are you tutting, and telling yourself what a fool you've been? We should all talk to ourselves as if we were our own best friends. Start doing that and you will gradually change the programming of your brain so that life starts to feel better. Scientists talk about neuroplasticity - which basically refers to the way our brains can rewire themselves, forming different pathways so that we can overwrite old, outworn habits and negative ways of thinking. Of course, it can work the other way round too and we can slip from good habits and positivity without too much of a fight.
When we are depressed we turn inwards upon ourself. It's the black hole of sadness and despair that is occupied by all our demons and sorrows. When we are in that place it is easy to feel as if nobody else understands our pain. Maybe they don't, simply because most of us are busy dealing with our own pain. So, take a good long look at yourself and make that choice - because it really is a choice - to change the way you think about life. Follow the three P's above - positive interaction, positive action and positive thinking - and when you do, you will soon start to feel better. That is not me trying to make light of the experience of your pain, not at all, but with careful steps you can find your way back into the life that you would wish to be yours.
What we now know is that although we might not be able to change our feelings and our emotions, we can change our thoughts. Thoughts are linked to feelings and under the control of the intellectual part of our brains. You cannot think happy things and feel sad. You cannot think of positive things and feel gloomy. And you cannot think of hope and feel despair. If you don't believe it, please give it a go!
Some people may find it harder to change the way they feel. The darkness may be too dark, the anxiety too extreme or the stress so overwhelming that straight thoughts feel impossible. So, my next question is, have you ever thought of hypnotherapy and how it can help you to feel better?
I am a solution focused hypnotherapist - a nice title which means I can help you to change your mind, and often that is the only thing that needs changing - that is where the power is!
So, if you want to start finding your way into better, more positive ways of thinking then why don't you get in touch and we can start that process, together? It's never too late and certainly never too soon to become the person that you really can be and I believe it is everyone's birthright to be happy and be able to live a rewarding, happy life.