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Dealing With Hurt (By a Psychologist)

How does one deal with sadness and negative thoughts?

As a Psychologist, I am continuously curious about this human phenomenon. I have felt it. And every time I do, I never fail to take notes from it. Thus, I have truly analyzed that this "sadness" has many forms and many sources. Also, the thousands of supportive researches provide some light on the matter.

We seemed to have been conditioned to believe that we need people to overcome our sadness. That it is almost impossible to be alone and at peace. That we need to be held by an external support. However, there is a huge difference between the above thought and reality.

Sadness, if defined at its best, is but a chemical reaction within ourselves. Emotionally though, it is more than just a mere feeling. However, there are ways to deal with it to eradicate its existence. Following are some basics that may help:

Practical attitude: Practical individuals have less difficulty coping with sadness. They are adept at forming logical explanations regarding varied situations. This ability relaxes their mind by suppressing anxiety of any kind. With a maintained self-confidence and a practical explanation of the events, they develop immunity towards the ill-effects of harmful emotions.

Accepting flaws: Peace comes with accepting one's entire self. Usually we accept our strengths easily and apologetically. But it's the flaws or mistakes that we have difficulty with. As much as we may know that we have them, we try to ignore them or keep them wrapped up. The more we stay in denial, the more fear of being exposed enters our minds. With this, we develop insecurities, jealousies and conflicts. Once we learn to accept ourselves the way we are and also love ourselves, there is immense peace and less scope for feelings of sadness.

Forgiveness: The more we hold on to grudges, the more we poison ourselves. And it's not just the grudges that we hold towards others. It is more about forgiving ourselves. We are so unable to love ourselves and in the end we find ourselves complaining about our own bodies and abilities. That is equal to hating ourselves. Thus, before we forgive others, we must also forgive ourselves of all the mistakes and regrets. It is absolutely necessary for us to be at peace with our own existence. Forgiving others releases the venomous toxicity that keeps suffocating us otherwise.

Self-motivation: While we are busy seeking for external factors to make us feel worthy, it is our own selves that must generate motivation. Will power, learning from mistakes and correcting regrets are important to an individual's wholesome personality.

Inner strength: The most vital factor to handling negative feelings is have internal strength. An individual has to have courage to face the situations rather than run from it. A person grows from his/her experiences and stressful situations make the person stronger. There has to be an absolute positive energy flowing within the individual's mind.

Silence: The power of silence is always underestimated. Too much conversation breeds unnecessary conflict. Also during arguments or debates, the presence of silence is important. One has to have a great deal of patience to listen before replying. An individual's strength can always be measured by the ability to be silent when provoked. When placed in a sad situation, a person only needs to be silent and meditate on the thoughts regarding the situation.

Harboring hope: As they say, the past is over but the future is yet to come, we must abide by this saying. Hope for the best in your life and it makes you a happy person. Hope gives us the strength to bear the burdens that are crushing us today. It is an abstract entity - this hope, but it is definitely a beautiful coping strategy.

Believing in oneself: Having faith in oneself is vital. To believe in the strength and ability of oneself to be able to stand your ground or achieve near impossible things should be a motto of your life. Confidence, success and happiness will follow the people who have faith in their own individuality.

Standing tall: Not the literal meaning of standing physically but standing your ground even in the midst of problems. It is definitely hard to battle feelings of sadness and negative thoughts, but it is not impossible. Like any other fight, there will be hurt and pain and also investment of energy. However, it will show you how strong you are and only contribute to your own strength.

Discipline: Having discipline in life is a must. Having discipline within your mind is equally important. There has to be a routine for you to engage in healthy thinking. You have to discipline your mind to only accept positive thoughts and vibes. Shutting out negativity and every toxic factor that would even intend to harm your mental health.

Above all, is the leading of a healthy life? Eating habits, sleep cycle, physical fitness and correct choices make an individual's life pleasant. The basic slogan for everyday life being "Less expectations equals to less disappointments... "

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