We all must control ourselves. Sure, there is lots of help within and without. But we must control ourselves, our thoughts and our lives through patience, understanding and tolerance. Not even in that order. It is more like understanding, tolerance and patience.
We need to understand ourselves first, our situations second and what to do lastly.
That is the key to having tolerance for anything we experience.
To be patient, we need to have the most genuine of understanding and patience for it all.
But, first, we need to think and think deeply before we take any action that will affect a situation. Impulsiveness is not an option, but deliberation always is, especially where wise action is involved. Deeply understanding human nature is the most powerful thing in the world, sure. But, deeply understanding our own nature over general human nature makes us even more powerful and intelligent than that person with simple "book knowledge" of human nature.
Even the wisest in different ways and times have said things like "Know Yourself" or "Know Thyself". Now that I have given that simple paradigm in a form so many can probably understand, you can see why in a tangible way that can work for anyone if given the proper chance to work.
Understanding in this case, indeed, is the most powerful and realistic modality to do what needs to be done with the rest of it, meaning tolerance and patience. We have to live and do this reality from the bottom up, and from the top down. We are a totality as beings, and not just one thing only that needs to be specialized in. We need total patience, understanding and tolerance to do anything genuine and real in life or we have nothing but impatience, fear, and misunderstanding.
So, I hope I gave a reality of how life and reality really work. Because, if we do not know ourselves, what can we really know? Let me give a final analogy: An encyclopedia set knows "everything", but it does not have consciousness. A genuinely knowing person can do more than that encyclopedia set with all that general knowledge. That is what it all comes down to. Sure, that seems like a cold analogy, but is it? Set yourself free by knowing yourself is all I have to end with. Set yourself free by having patience, understanding and tolerance for yourself is what it comes down to. Make a great life.