How do you know when you are ready to find love after divorce? When a marriage breaks down, it is always a sad and difficult time, even if things haven't been great between you for some time. Whatever the circumstances you will still need to give yourself time to adjust to your new way of life before jumping into a new relationship.
You will be left with a huge space in your life and will most likely feel that you need to fill it as quickly as possible, but it could be a big mistake to look for love after divorce too soon, as your judgment may be seriously clouded. You could end up making bad choices and give yourself more pain and grief to deal with. It is never a good idea to meet someone on the rebound as you are likely to have issues that need dealing with first.
Time is a great healer, so it is important to give yourself time to grieve for your old relationship. Get over the anger and other emotional issues and allow yourself time to re-evaluate what you want out of life. It is unfair to start a new relationship when you are unable to move on from the previous one. Take time to nurture yourself, enjoy old interests or try some new ones, spend time with family and friends and enjoy just being you.
If children are involved, you also need to consider them and allow them time to grieve the loss of their old family life and adjust to a new way of life. This can take a long time as the decision to divorce was nothing to do with them. Introducing someone new into their lives at this stage can cause some very challenging behaviours, even for grown-up children, so for their sake, you must allow time.
Everyone is different in the way they deal with divorce and the issues that go with it, some people may be ready to move on and look for love after divorce within a year, others will take much longer, only you know how you feel. It is essential if you want your next relationship to be successful, that you have moved on and let go of the past. It is all too easy to carry old resentments forward and damage any future relationships.
When you feel ready to move on, it can be an exciting time embarking on the world of dating once again and signifies a new chapter in your life. Try and meet each date with an open mind and an open heart rather than comparing them to your ex. Remember nobody is perfect, we all have our good points and bad points, so judge each person on their own merits and give yourselves the chance to get to know each other. There is no rush to make a commitment, just concentrate on enjoying each others company and having fun together. Love after divorce will happen, but take your time and make sure you get to know your new partner inside out before making a commitment.