Society uses the film industry, the arts and media to reference how a man should act in a relationship. The problem with this is that we don't appreciate the man in front of us.
We tend to place importance on our ego, pride and social status, for example our man must:
- Provide expensive and frequent restaurant dates, surprises and thrilling events.
- Pay for everything including luxury brands (he is the man after all).
- Have a hot body and maintain it.
- Hold high social status and have a respected job title.
- Pick me over the boys and all of his other interests (going the extra mile for my needs).
- Send me romantic texts and always provide romantic gestures (flowers, chocolates etc).
- Act like other guys I admire
- Do what I want or hit the highway.
In addition to this, women are often advised to be cold and suppress their compassion, honesty and kindness. Treat them mean and they will stay keen.
If you are expecting the above from your man then you are not in a love based relationship. You are building a relationship based upon external things rather than what his heart can give you.
How can any relationship survive or blossom with a foundation based on selfishness, greed and dishonesty!
Build a relationship with the person he is on the inside and not what he can be changed into or because of his social status. Once this is done then you will see that list change into something money cannot buy. Growing with the man that could be your Mr Right.
So how do you know if your man is the real deal? The real mans affections are shown in different ways and I have listed some of them below:
- He shows you that he is thinking about you by an unexpected text or unscheduled call.
- He always asks for your opinion in any matter because he respects you and wants you to feel secure with him, not dominated but both have equal importance in the relationship.
- He opens up to you with his fears, concerns or personal circumstances that are challenging to him. It takes so much for a man to fully open up to a woman and be completely vulnerable so when he does be there for him as this is his way of showing you that he trusts you.
- He shows his affection by kissing you, giving you hugs, holding your hand, brushing past your hand (some men do not feel comfortable showing their affection in public), gazing into your eyes, putting their hand on your back (showing you affection and protection), he runs his fingers through your hair and any other gentle gestures.
- He listens to your fears, concerns, challenging circumstances, insecurities etc because he wants to love them away. He cares about you and wants to help you feel secure or to tell you the truth of how beautiful you are inside out.
- He helps with any struggles (domestic or personal) because he loves you not because it is his duty. This is commonly missed!
- He compliments you unexpectedly, showing you that he appreciates you and treasures you. He is here to help you develop into the woman you want to be. He will build you up (never criticize you or make you feel less).
- He gives you meaningful gifts with the value awarded by its sentiment rather than price, showing you that he was listening.
- He encourages you to attend classes, reach for your dreams and be the better you through his love, kind words and showing you that support that then makes you feel like you can soar.
- He makes time to see you, purely because he wants to rather than because it is his duty.
- He thinks ahead and completes the task at hand, this shows that again he loves you and you are not alone because he is there with you.
These were just a few examples of the ways men try to show us women that they love and care for us. We need to start paying attention to the details. If we do we will then see that he is really trying.
If you are currently single, please try to forget the old expectations you had for a man. Throw away the film industry's expectation of how the film portrays a man and go for a man you truly connect with spiritually. Get to know his dreams, his passions, his hobbies, and his life story and you will find your Mr.Right. Learn to be vulnerable with him. Always be honest with him and help him let his guard down. Break away from the social rules i.e. you can't call or text back straight away as you do not want to come across as too eager.
It is time for peoples souls to connect. Modern rules and expectations surrounding dating are preventing people from knowing who the other truly is. You cannot treat something that could be so beautiful as a mastermind game. He may not turn up right away but if you focus on a mans characteristics and the principles over reputation or social status you will find true love. It really does exist.
Xo Love and Light oX