I never really thought much about if the conversations I were having everyday were meaningful or not. Not until recently did I really take a step back and focus on what I was conversing about on a daily basis. In order to grow in your relationships you have to have those meaningful conversations, get to really know the person you're talking to; their wants, needs, hopes, fears, and dreams. When I thought about all the people I care about and who I talk to on a daily basis, I'm not sure I can say that I know them on that level. Life is too short for bland and boring conversations; get to know those you admire on a deeper level.
1. Stop gossiping
The old saying goes, if you don't have anything good to say about no one do say anything at all. Sadly when I think of past conversations I've had with my girlfriends, I can think of a few that were centered on gossip. Gossip doesn't make you feel good, if anything it makes you feel worse about yourself. It leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Talk less about others and more about ideas, events, dreams etc. It's time to STOP talking about someone else, put the focus on each other, and THINK before you speak,
T - is it true?
H - is it helpful?
I - is it inspiring?
N - is it necessary?
K - is it kind?
"What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than Sally"
2. Put down the phone
We live in a world where our lives are centered around social media. People feel more comfortable texting their friends, loved ones than they do actually talking to them in person. This baffles me that it has come to this. How can you have a meaningful conversation with someone when you are busy checking out the Instagram pic of Lucy's selfie. For most it is a reflex to pick up the phone every few minutes or so, believe me nothing life changing has happened in the last two minutes on social media. Be present in your conversations. Put your phone in your purse or pocket and don't check it until your conversation is over. This is a challenge I know, but you will not regret it.
3. Look them in the eyes
We all have done it; passed a stranger when walking and looked down instead of at them. But we aren't just doing this to people we don't know, but to those we do. I am guilty of this and it is something I am working on to change. When I tell someone my feelings for them it's easier to look at anything else than in their eyes. But your message won't mean as much unless you are truly connected with that person. Look people in the eyes and don't be afraid or intimidated to do so. You can get to know a lot about someone just by looking at them. Research shows that people are more likely to tell you the truth if you look them in the eyes. Why? Because it makes them feel you are trustworthy. I want people to know they can trust me.
"Eye contact is more intimate than words will ever be."
4. Tell the truth
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Humans are deceptive beings. A lot of times it's much easier to lie than tell the truth. It is much easier to agree with someone than disagreeing in fear you might start an argument. Let me tell you something, having different opinions than your friends or loved ones is GOOD! This is a great base for a conversation starter. A healthy banter opens your mind to other views and helps you accept the different opinion. You have more respect for one another, information and knowledge can be shared between the two of you without any judgment being passed. It feels good to share your passion with others and to get their truthful and positive feedback. This will help you grow as a person and in your relationships as well.