Live freely beyond any identity the world or yourself have given you.
Most of us when we talk with each other, feel that the person we have been talking to, express himself/herself through "second thoughts", through filters in a suspicious way making it difficult to build trust. In the book "The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem" Congruence is analyzed. Congruence is an alignment of words and actions.
For instance, congruence means that you:
Keep the promises you make.
Express yourself freely, regardless of your environment.
Admit when you flirt with someone and don't conceal your true intention about him/her.
The average human being has a pull towards creating his personal identity, which includes negative as well as positive attributes of his character. Unfortunately most of the time his "identity" doesn't exist to serve him but to restrict him. Observe a friend or maybe yourself when you try to get out of your comfort zone. Something deep within you pulls you back, keeps resistance. The exact same thing might happen to your friend as well, seeing them make statements like "that's not what I am like". But what you will later understand is that your close friend, in reality is full of excuses.
Most of the time our image and the information written on our identities are imaginary. The main reason that happens is because we haven't made them ourselves, they are constructed by our friends, relatives and generally our social circle, which is reasonable for someone who doesn't invest in themselves. The desire to be free mentally and physically resonates with our nature. To get closer to your goal I challenge you, day by day to leave a part of your identity and generally the image you have in your mind behind. Embrace freedom, live without an identity that drags you backwards!
On the other hand, everything is easier said than done. Action forms our character and particularly how congruent we are. Processes having to do with the psyche require time, no alteration in nature hasn't happened in a second. Every human being has the ability to test his congruence, day by day followed by small steps, discovering themselves.
A foundational step is the awareness of situations when we aren't congruent. Leave a comment below, answering the two following questions.
When do you believe you are not congruent, in which situations do you lose the ability to show your congruence?
What can you do about it?