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Abuse and Taking Back Your Power (By a Former Abused Woman)


There is a history of abuse, all over the world. I believe the most significant thing for anyone to learn and focus on; is ending the family cycle. Statistics show that abuse has been going on for many generations in families. On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States - more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.

Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by a partner and report a related impact on their functioning. Nearly, 15% of women (14.8%) and 4% of men have been injured as a result of IPV that included rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

I reflect back on my own family history of abuse. There are four generations of abuse, that I have knowledge of. The cycle has continued, due to the issues not being addressed. It is taboo for families to discuss family history and the cycle of abuse. I did observe both men and women being abusers.

It is common for an individual to be abused and become an abuser. There are various types of abuse; such as sexual, verbal, physical, psychological and emotional abuse. Many times the abused person tries to make excuses or hide it from outsiders. It is common to feel shame, for something which you have no control.

Many abused persons have low self esteem. It is common for a person to question their involvement in an abusive environment. It makes you wonder what you can change about yourself, to make the abuse stop. It is an emotional battle daily, to maintain focus on ordinary tasks. You wonder what will trigger the occurrence again; if so what can you say to stop it.

The person that is abusing you, will never stop to consider what it is doing to you psychologically. If at all possible, you should report it to someone you trust. It can be perplexing to someone who has been abused for so long to have a desire to escape an abuser. Many times the abused holds themselves hostage, because of the psychological restrictions they have placed upon themselves.

There can be many things said and assumed about an abused person. Many question why the individual has not attempted to get away or spoken with someone for help. It is a psychological phenomena, that only the person can explain clearly. I have observed men and women, with a history being abused, seeking out a weak or vulnerable partner and subjecting them to abuse. It is also possible that these individuals also abuse their children.

I have close personal knowledge and witnessed abuse on many levels as a child. As I reflect back on those experiences and ponder many things, the cycle had continued. It was not openly addressed. Until I openly discussed many of the event that transpired, it was never discussed. Many people think their family cycles were normal.

I too once believed abuse was a normal part of life, until I became an adult and started to observe more healthy relationships. It wasn't until I stopped dating and eliminated abusive men from my life, that I realized how unhealthy my dating history was. I can understand why it is hard for a person to break the cycle and escape an abuser.

Although the trauma takes time to be healed, it is possible. An abused person has to see, they are not responsible for the actions of another. The first step to healing, is to realize you are worthy of better things. It takes courage to stand up to someone who has abused you for many years or numerous times. I will tell you it is possible. Once you openly refuse to deny the acceptance of abuse; you have taken back your power.

I will share with you that I understand. I faced abuse in many forms in my life. I decided to I deserve better. I refused top allow family or a lover to abuse me in any way. I took back control of my life. I now refuse to be forced to do what I have no desire for. You have the power to set your standards and expectations in life. Make the choice to choose better for yourself.

The power to be, first starts with you. I AM is the Power to be. You control your life.

Reflect on your family history and find the cause of allowing abuse in your life.

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