We have all heard specific statements over and over again. "Things are likely not going to change until you do something". "The first step to healing is acknowledgement. "Secrets form dysfunction". "There is no maintenance in life. You are either moving forward or moving backward".
We have heard them but don't always apply them at a personal level.
Let's consider some of the areas where you might be struggling:
1. Communication - Many people suffer with social anxiety and, because of this, feel like they are isolated and unable to develop healthy relationships. Others find it difficult to understand or express their thoughts and feelings in a way that they are understood. Everyone has communication issues at times because people are complex. Perhaps you are having problems at work, in your social environment or with family members.
2. Finances - Are you spending too much? Perhaps you do not have enough income to pay for your regular expenses. There is a big difference between "wants" and "needs" but very little training about how to be wise about money. Maybe you just want some good, solid advice about how to invest so that you will have a worry-free retirement.
3. Relationships - Each of us takes our own history and expectations with us wherever we go. This can lead to clashes with others who do not agree or perhaps even seem to be "out to get us". Relationships are important but complex.
4. Addictions - When a person uses a substance or activity for the wrong reasons, difficulties arise. Denial, however, can prevent individuals from realizing how their life and relationships are being negatively impacted. Often I hear clients tell me that they don't have a drinking or drug problem but their life is in shambles.
5. Sex - Too much; too little; in the wrong place; with the wrong person; or can't? Sexual issues can include healthy, addictive or anorexic behaviours.
6. Parenting - It would be lovely if there was a magic wand or book with all the answers but there isn't. And what complicates things is that each child is unique. Trying to parent in isolation can be a lonely and dangerous enterprise.
7. Health - Physical problems are often accompanied by pain and hopelessness. It is the same with mental health issues such as depression. The difference is that often people who have an observable physical problem is treated differently than someone with a thought or mood disorder.
8. Extended Family - "Should", "must", and "have to" messages can form the bars of our emotional cages. Often a lack of boundaries and controlling personalities cause problems, especially when children become adults and begin forming their own families.
If you are experiencing a problem in any of these or other areas you can:
1. Do nothing knowing that things will not get better (and perhaps get worse).
2. Research and implement strategies to improve your situation.
3. Seek professional help. Most people have access to insured or government services.
Hiding a problem or wishing it would go away will likely not be effective choices. Instead, call a psychologist today and set an appointment so that you can discuss the healthy options that are available for you.