It's amazing how often that when slow, gradual changes occur, it can completely escape our notice. The average husband typically does not even recognize that his wife has been moving slowly further and further away from him until the day she moves into a separate bedroom or another house, or he catches her engaged in an affair.
Most likely, the husband in this scenario is actually a pretty decent guy. He's a great provider and he is a good father to all of his children. The problem was that he neglected to meet his wife's needs for so long and he more or less only sought her attention when he wanted intimacy. After years of building resentment, his wife decided it was time to separate or end the marriage.
What happened? Well... the signs where there all along, but the husband didn't see the gradual pulling away that his wife was doing. Usually by the time she has taken decisive action, she has no more interest in saving the marriage or working with her husband to fix things. She's tried getting his attention for years and he let her words go through one ear and out the other.
If you are a husband in this situation... if you have a wife who is departing and unwilling to take any steps towards you... Don't lose hope! It's not time to throw in the towel just yet. If your wife is still talking to you then there is always a chance you can have a marriage turnaround and have her moving towards you instead of away.
The following is a list of actions that you can take if you find yourself in this situation:
- Look Deep Inside Yourself: Do you struggle with insecurity, neediness, anger, jealousy, rage, envy, laziness, sadness, depression, or guilt? If so, you should know that if left unresolved you will drive your wife away little by little. Wives who have to pull their husbands out of a funk repeatedly will soon be too drained to give him anything else. If your wife also have to deal with your addictions too on top of the above list, then she'll be reduced to the role of a mommy-caregiver and she'll want to move far away from that!
- Adjust your Priorities: Many men make the mistake of putting their wife low on their list of priorities. This is in stark contrast to the time when you were courting her. Unfortunately, your priorities changed soon after you achieved your goal of getting married. Like many men, you most likely set your sights on getting a house, a better job, a better vehicle, and creating a better life. However, somewhere in there you neglected to get your wife's input, or consider her wants and needs, or give her the attention she craved. What good is having all these things if you have no one to share them with. Make sure your wife ranks equally with yourself.
- Curb your Agenda: Men in this situation tend to shift their priorities solely on "getting their wife back", by whatever means necessary. The problem here is that most men don't think ahead beyond that singular goal. So what are you going to do after you get her back? Are you going to treat her the same way you did before she left? Are you going to put her needs equal to your own? It's a mistake for a man to think that this situation is all his wife's "fault"... and if he doesn't make some significant changes in himself, then he'll be right back in the same situation once again. Before you take steps to draw your wife back to you, ask yourself if you want things to go back to what you had before or if you want something better.
- Apply Personal Development: Truly, this is what all men should be doing all the time. Self development is key to any man's success in all areas of his life. A man who stops learning and growing, is a man who's wife will eventually decide that she doesn't want to be around a man who doesn't want more for himself and others. Why not learn those aspects of yourself that's pushing your wife away and fix it? Why not learn new ways of thinking, talking, and behaving that your wife would find attractive, and apply it! Why not spend your time, money, and energy into learning how to make a relationship... a truly happy relationship, work?
- Find a Mentor: A man can do it all on his own, through a painstakingly long trial and error process. A man can conduct his own experiments to try and find out what works with women and what doesn't. However, with the stakes being so high (losing your wife and half your possessions in a divorce), you don't want to take chances. So instead, begin with the people you know. Do you know any men who have successfully prevented divorce and are now thriving in a happy marriage? Do you know any couples that have been married over 20 years, yet are still crazy about each other and are frequently intimate. Do you know anyone who has the kind of married people dream about? If you do, talk to them and find out what they did to get to where they are. If you can't find a mentor in your circle of friends, or you prefer to speak with someone from the comfort and safety of your home, there are men online ready and willing to be your mentor during this time in your life.
If you feel your wife moving away from you, or has already moved out, it's time to take action. A mentor can help you develop yourself into the kind of man that draw your wife back to you. You're looking for a real, permanent, change in yourself so that not only do you get your wife back... but she'll never leave you again!