You are in a funk: The car would not start, traffic was backed up, and you were late to work. Your boss was irritable and you heard your colleague got the promotion you had been dreaming about.
Daily life gets overwhelming. To cope, we often look for someone to blame. Unfortunately, the closest person to us often becomes that target. Projecting negativity onto a significant other, however, can cause them to doubt your relationship and push you away.
Instead of singling out your other half, take responsibility for your mood swings.
Before you blame others for your emotional highs and lows, preserve your relationships with these 5 strategies:
- Spend time alone to process.Do your best to uncover how you are feeling and get a grip on yourself. Think about the pressures nagging you and navigate your way through them. Then, when your partner asks, "How was your day?" you will be better equipped to explain.
- Put things into perspective.Things are hardly ever as bad as they first seem. Most day-to-day problems are annoyances, not catastrophes. Understand the distinction and shift your mood from bad to neutral. (Never try to force a good mood). If something is just an annoyance, shift your mindset and reduce your stress.
- Stop making the problem worse.Infecting your mate with your bad mood hurts you both. Your negative feelings wound them and erode your intimacy. Learn to self-process and discuss your feelings to calm yourself and foster safety in your relationship. Intimacy will grow as your partner sees that you have the strength to deal with life's curveballs.
- Ask for support.Stomping around and venting when you are in a bad mood will not inspire your partner to inquire and offer assistance. Instead of repelling your closest source of comfort, express that you need extra care during this time, but will soon be back to normal again.
- Cultivate a positive mood.Many people think that if they just continue bumping along, the world will right itself and give them their due. In fact, it takes work to maintain positivity. If you do not take positive actions, you will not see many coming your way. Instead, conceptualize what you would like to receive and put it into the world first.