You live life in a bubble working hard for a salary, you have a girl or guy friend, marry or live together, have kids, a mortgage, credit cards, a car, bills, and stress to the max.
You're old by fifty, plod through life, moan about afflictions of lifestyle diseases, retire, get the watch, get sick (if you're not already), and die at seventy (if you're lucky), and be lauded a good guy/gal/neighbour, hardworking and reliable... that's it, your average life story regardless of nationality, language, religion or country.
I've failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. Michael Jordan
Remember when you were a kid, the dreams you had, how you were going to live life on your terms? You weren't going to be like your parents, old and boring. You and your friends had big plans. "Not me", you all claimed, "My life's going to be different". None of you could articulate what 'different' meant but you knew you wanted more than the adults around you.
Of course, you were either humoured, put down, gently, harshly or worse, ignored with the standard "What do you know about life anyway? You're just a kid." In a blink, you're in college (maybe) or already stuck at eighteen living a life you abhor.
Feeling lost and depressed at fifty you ruminate on your dreams back then. You were chomping at the bit to 'get out'. One or three of your friends made it but not you and so, you wonder what went wrong? How did you lose yourself and end up this treadmill to nowhere?
You hate your life, your boss, job, co-workers, and the daily commute, constantly throwing proverbial rocks at everything. It changes nothing but you continue anyway.The fact is that what you resist persists. The more you detest something, the more dominant it becomes in your life. When you feel so passionately about anything you dislike you reinforce that resistance.
I've never heard a bird half-sing, a hawk half-cry. When ready, speak your truth with conviction. Dave Urillo
To end this stuckness and recapture your dreams:
- Accept the gift of your own responsibility.
- Be mindful of your thoughts.
- Speak your truth quietly and clearly.
- Identify your passion and recapture your dreams.
- Leave home?
- Chronicle your growth.
1. ACCEPT THE GIFT OF YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY
If you desire positive, lasting change in your life that makes you feel fulfilled, take responsibility for your own life. It's your gift to yourself and it's precious.
Accept situations exactly as they are. When you do, your reality changes and you begin to see things as they really are. Fighting against what is is futile. and that simply reinforces your frustration and negativity. It is important to understand that it's your interpretation of what someone said or did that creates our angst. Drop the story. End it or take action and move on. Just stop regurgitating it in your head!
Acknowledge the part you played that has brought you to your current feeling of stuckness. Start from exactly where you are. Express your dissatisfaction and longing to those who matter then go find your passion and recapture your dreams.
No excuses, no apologies. If you intend to live life on your own terms, accept responsibility for how you feel, what you think, say and do. Nobody on this planet can make you feel happy, sad, bad or mad. It's all up to you. Your power is internal and that's where change takes place.
A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want. Madonna Ciccone
2. BE MINDFUL OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Change begins with being mindful of your thoughts. Your initial awareness creates an internal shift which expands as you progress. You have no doubt heard that Insanity means doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result. That's the problem right there. Nothing will change until you do something differently.
Question every thought and ask yourself, "Is that true?, Do I really believe that? Who taught me that? Where/how did I learn that?", "Does that even make sense anymore?" Discard those beliefs as needed (it becomes easier over time) and replace them with uplifting ones.
It takes thirty days to create a new habit. Vibe with what's true for the new you. The old you did its job by bringing you to this point. It's time to start accepting yourself exactly as you are including those characteristics and body parts you dislike. Stop beating yourself up and begin loving yourself. Show up in your life by being real. You answer to no one but yourself.
It's not an easy task as we're all accustomed to acting as automatons based on what we learnt at our parents' knees. You'll forget to "check in" sometimes, however, with practice it improves and you'll gain more insight into your actions. Lots of aha moments ahead.
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Dr Wayne Dyer
3. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUIETLY AND CLEARLY
It's not rocket science to end displeasing encounters. Decide to separate yourself from the herd to avoid being stampeded over an emotional cliff in a knee-jerk reaction whenever someone pushes your buttons. Take deliberate action to end many unpleasant situations in your life and stop re-acting.
You ought to know by now what triggers you. Be prepared to handle them differently when they occur. No more playing small. Whatever displeases or angers you is an issue to be resolved and released as anger is repressed passion. The fact is that those around you mirror back at you what you think and feel about yourself. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't react. Express yourself.
Quietly speaking your truth takes courage (with a corresponding loosening of tension) but only because you're unaccustomed doing so. That's your gift to yourself. By acting out of the norm, your interlocutors are stopped in their tracks. Some will continue their antics but will be unable to antagonise you. Understand that people only discomfort you when you already feel uncomfortable about a particular subject matter!
Have the courage to meet people half-way, admit when you're wrong, apologise, agree to disagree, concede a point made, back down (life is not a contest and you don't have to win every time), smile, don't speak and walk away, show people the respect they deserve, stand in your truth, and most importantly, draw the line. In the latter case, being real is essential. Be fiery if need be.
No drama is necessary.
Stop allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions. Stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others. Dr Steve Maraboli
4. IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION AND RECAPTURE YOUR DREAMS
Become the observer in your life. Ask yourself the following questions to begin the process of identifying where your life went off-course.The responses will be enlightening.
- What happened to make me give up my dreams?
- What did I do today that I could have had a different result?
- When did I start depending on others to tell me what to do?
- When did I stop acting of my own accord?
- When did I stop saying what I wanted?
- Why did I decide to give away my power?
To recapture your dreams and identify your passion after a long hiatus start with the Internet. It's a treasure trove of information. Connect with people in your community and also those involved in the area that interests you. Seek out friends, entrepreneurs and anyone else whom you believe would be able to provide more information to take you on your chosen path.
Your actions and new way of being will have an impact on those who know you as you follow your new path. Unless someone is on your wavelength and supports your dreams, desires and goals, keep them secret until you encounter those who support you. Until then, nurture them in your secret garden with abundant flows of imagination, grow them with goals, flesh them out with plans, and take action to bring them to fruition. Every action counts no matter how small.
The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams. Oprah Winfrey
Nothing and no one is off-limits. You won't get a hearing if you continue to place safe. Risk means stepping out of your comfort zone. How will you get what you want if you don't ask for it?
Joy naturally results when you pursue your dreams! You're passionate. Your enjoyment, fulfillment and satisfaction of the life you chose is thus assured. That burning desire keeps you enlivened and enthusiastic in everything you do. Dreaming big is the only way to go.
When you lack passion joy is absent on achieving a goal or dream. Your satisfaction is fleeting and feels unsatisfactory producing a prosaic "okay, now what?" response and this cycle continues until you tap into what's really important to you. Many are still toiling uselessly and mind-numbingly in that barren vineyard they call life.
More people are waking up in their unfulfilled lives shaken out of their torpor by a crisis of some sort (health, near death experience, bankruptcy, emotional breakdown or other major life event) that forces them to take stock.
When your chosen work is your passion it's no longer just a j.o.b. Despite the requisite challenges you love going to work every day. You're on fire with a let's do this attitude. The time for playing small has passed. In fact, it led you down the garden path. Be self-ish. Demand what you want and say how you want it. Go where you will find it. Release the old you. There's no going back.
If you can't figure our your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose. Bishop T.D. Jakes
There's no such thing as failure. A lot of "no's" will come your way but so what. All you need is the first "yes". Lack of success tells you to go back, review and modify. If you listen to the naysayers you'll end up right back where you started, with them.
Synchronicities and coincidences tell you when you have struck gold. That means you're in alignment with your cherished dreams, desires and goals. Don't stop now!
5. LEAVE HOME?
The beauty of this work is that it doesn't necessarily involve leaving home, family or friends. But it might. Leaving precipitously will be counter-productive. As I well know, you can't escape yourself. Wherever you go, there you are so take care of business now because you'll never pass this way again.
Refuse to feel constrained by your present circumstances. From the moment you decide to stand in your truth despite nervous butterflies, you immediately change the outcome and reinforce your power every time you speak up. You will begin to see and feel tangible, positive results in all that you do.
None of this means that your emotions have vanished. You're human after all. However, you're now aware of them and they're under your control. They no longer control you and when they do that'll be your choice.
It is time to stop living by other people's agenda. Make your inner bully your inner champion. This allow us to thrive and sing 'Glory Hallelujah'. Susan Taylor Shier
Remember, no one can make you feel happy, sad, mad, or bad. That's giving away your power which is internal. Depending on external forces to dictate your actions or believing that someone makes you feel a particular way negates it away.
6. CHRONICLE YOUR GROWTH
Mark the date in your diary when you decided to identify your passion and recapture your dreams. Maintain it for one year to chronicle your growth. Review your diary one year later and be amazed at the changes in your life, of how much you've grown simply because you decided to become present in your life, you stood your ground and spoke your truth quietly and clearly.
Start a gratitude journal and list five to ten things that you feel grateful for every day, no repetition. I guarantee it won't be a chore or a bore. Become one of the minority on the planet who look forward to going to work to do the job they love with a passion, every single day, and get paid for it! That put's you on a natural high and gratitude is a logical outcome.
Meditate every morning before getting out of bed to centre yourself, tap into your power and plan your day. Always, do the most important task first, every single day and you'll see a significant difference in your output. Also meditate at night before going to sleep. It's a perfect recipe for a restful night.
You control your thoughts. You decide what to think and do. You live your life either in joy, sorrow or regret. It's your choice.
I am the power of my own choice. Susan Taylor Shier