You can't face your problems of the future today. You can't enjoy future pleasures today. You can't be there today. Your there becomes a here always. Somehow through our upbringing we are trained to work for the future, focus on the future, live today for the future. There is a certain level of planning required but after the initial planning it's time to get on with today and all of the gifts it has to offer.
I was having fear thoughts about the future. Will I cope with a major life event that is high on the Rictor Scale of stressful life events. Will I get angry and stressed and take it out on the kids? Will I cope?
So I did my best therapy - a personal life coaching session with me and my notepad. I found the problem. I wasn't trusting myself to cope with a future event. I wasn't trusting that all will be well in my world. I was choosing to believe fear thoughts instead of faith thoughts.
My body is a great messenger. When I reach a certain level of stress my body gives me symptoms of dis-ease. I know now to investigate my thoughts to release the stress. (10% of life is what happens to you and 90% is how you respond- your thoughts about the situation.) All these futuristic thoughts were costing me my health and today's happiness.
I asked myself a great coaching question, "What is the positive need I am trying to meet by these thoughts about the future?" Every action we do has a positive intention even if all you can currently see is the disadvantages of your action.
The answer:- I was having fear thoughts about the future so I wouldn't be disappointed if it all turned out badly and so I could prepare for the worst case scenario. Dah! As if worrying today is going to make next month better.
I needed a better way to prepare for the future and avoid disappointment so I chose to:
- Deliberately pretend that the future doesn't exist now and never will *
- Practice being in the moment which is the best way to positively affect the future
- Focusing on today's events
- Practice faith that I deserve a bright future
- Take small actions today to prepare for the future event (Action reduces anticipatory anxiety)
I would love you to let me know if this works for you.
* I use the word pretending because it:
- Makes a game out of it
- Makes it easier to willfully think about
- Takes away negative self talk ie I should know this truth by now
You could use any word that makes it easier for you to believe the future doesn't exist.