So, you've split up. The relationship is over. Now what? How does a person move forward in a healthy way? Breakups are never easy, no matter what the circumstance, but you will find methods to reduce your suffering.
-- Allow yourself time to heal.
Irrespective of how committed you could be to moving on, you need to give yourself time to mourn the relationship. Whether you were the one who left or your partner was, separations happen to be painful. Adjustments have to be made as well as emotions processed, and this naturally requires time.
Sometimes people make the particular mistake of attempting to bury their own difficult feelings, but in doing this they are trying to bypass the healing process completely. Of course no one likes to feel sad. We naturally want to feel better as fast as possible. However, the only effective way to feel better is usually to face your own feelings directly.
Allow yourself to feel hurt, depressed, angry, baffled, and many other emotions that so frequently come with separations. If you permit yourself to feel these things now, you're more unlikely to have those feelings resurface as time goes on when you are least expecting it.
-- Form a new support network
You've stepped from sharing an everyday part of your life with somebody else to being single all over again. For lots of people, this is among the hardest of transitions. Maybe you feel alone, but you are surely not. Now may well be the time to get in touch with your friends and loved ones for help. Speak to them when you really need someone to talk to. Invite some over when you need to laugh, cry, get your thoughts off these issues, get out of your home, vent, and do any other activity you need to do.
-- Leave the house
As much as you feel you want to shut the world out at times, you have to get away from home and be social as well. Get out with family, some of your friends along with others from your trusted support network.
If you really don't have such a network, then now is the time to work on acquiring one.
Engage in some new hobbies or activities and also meet some new people. Instead of looking at the breakup being a complete loss, try looking at it from a different view. You have been given the opportunity now to dedicate time to other things, making new friends, acquiring new knowledge, developing newpastimes and focusing on yourself.
-- Change things around
You're starting a fresh new chapter in your life, and a good way to remind yourself of this is by rearranging your furniture. Change the positioning of any chair, your bed, a table. Move a photo or hang a brand new. Create these adjustments to your surroundings and things can feel different in a better, newer way.
-- Give back
You may well be going having a particularly tough time right at this moment, but why don't you put things in perspective a bit, do a bit of volunteer work, or have a go at a charity. It feels great to do things for others, especially those who are really in need.
Think about types of things you could get involved in. If you love animals, you could potentially volunteer at a pet shelter. If you're a person of faith, you could get involved with charity work done by your place of worship. There are plenty of different choices, but it's important to pick something which is meaningful to you personally. You will certainly feel great after assisting, AND it will help you to get your loss into perspective.
Above all, give yourself time to make the adjustments needed, time to process your own emotions, and time to recover. Be gentle with yourself and you'll find yourself moving forward right into a brighter day.