Lessons in Forgiving Yourself: Weights
Ever have something in your life weigh you down like an anchor? Without forgiving yourself and moving forward, these anchors will effect your life including your job hunt. The glossiest resume or most polished interview preparation remain incomplete without taking the time for forgiving yourself.
Whether you are remembering a past mistake or feeling grounded by a condition others see as a disability, with time the weight will feel a little heavier. Echos and other reminders bring back that weight even more.
These weights may cause you to slump, shuffle in your stride, make you grimace or not think with as much clarity and confidence as when the weight is not around. It is time to get rid of that weight and move forward in your job search starting today.
Forgiving Yourself: Emotional Sunburns
Ever get a sunburn, say on your right shoulder? Someone else could tap you on the left shoulder or right knee or most anywhere without any reaction - JUST DO NOT HIT YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER!! The pain you feel will cause you to react without thinking and will cause you to be on guard where the sunburn is everyday.
Somethings effect people emotionally the same way - call a person one thing it does not effect them but call them something else - - just try to call me "Georgie Porgie" and watch out! These sunburns, an immediate and uncontrolled reaction to something non-threatening - THAT is a sunburn.
The trick not being a slave to sunburns is to identify what it is that causes the sudden reaction in the first place. Sunburns will effect your job performance and the way you look at yourself and world around you. Identify these things that cause sudden reactions then forgive yourself for having these reactions and also forgive those who may not have known they were causing it. Like people who call me "Porgie".
Forgiving Yourself: Memories/ Images/ Smells and Sounds
For years, fall's changing leaves bothered me. I did not know why but I would feel sad and more easily upset seeing the beautiful colors start to show. It was not until I connected that time with the memory of the death of a family member. For years I held in the regret that I did not tell that person how much I cared for them and told them what a great lift they had given my life. Even seeing their picture on the wall in my house brought back that old sense of regret.
For many people certain seasons, smells or sounds do the same in recalling dealing with regret, helplessness or even abuse. Members of Alcoholics Anonymous know about the power of triggers and regret.
NOW reclaim your power. Only by connecting the images (leaves changing) with what they meant to me (family member's passing) was I able deal with that regret. Soon I was able to enjoy the change of colors again - as it should be. Maybe there are anger or regret you feel brought back by images. Once you make that connection the hidden impact - similar to sunburns but broader in nature - will start to lose their power.
Forgiving Yourself: "Dis-ability"?
Often people are weighed down by the limits others have placed on them. When they hear from an "expert" such as a doctor, school psychologist or respected family member that there are somethings that the person will just never be able to do, they feel that weight.
Maybe attempts at moving forward toward a personal goal have met with setbacks. You hear ringing in your ears the words of these "experts" that you will have to settle for 'less than' your dreams. YOU are the expert on YOU. Who knows what you are capable of given time and determination? Who knows what you can accomplish once you stop listening to the negative echoes?
Here you need to forgive twice:
* Forgive yourself for having listened in the past - it is human nature to follow what a respected person has said. It is understood that when you try to fly and fall on your face that you were hesitant to try again.
* Forgive those around you who offered more doubt than hope. This was just a misguided sense of what was best for you. They just needed to hear more from the expert on YOU.
What Next?
Take time for yourself and do an inventory. What are the things said or done that you quickly react to without thought? Use the power and soothe sunburns once you have found them. Are there images or other sensory cues that act like weights holding you down? By knowing them, you begin to take away their power over you.
Has a disabling condition or the things others say affected the way you see your present and your future? Forgive yourself for the limits you have put on yourself in the past. What's next? A brighter future with fewer weights, sunburns and a stronger hope for whatever does come next. On with the hunt!
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