10 Secrets to a Better Work-Life Balance

How many of the elements of our life are right?

When you break down all of the things that we do, both personally and professionally, there are a huge number each day, each week and each month. 

If you are inclined, you can categorize these tasks and work out which ones are absolutely in the right place, which ones are clearly not and which could be better if only certain things changed. We’re definitely going to see an improvement in work-life balance if we adjust those elements that are out of kilter. 

How interesting are we making our life?

Sometimes our schedules are full but we find that it is very routine and very dull. What we are driving at here is that you’ll find it useful to focus on what you do, what you read and what you think. 

In other words, is it possible that you can become more interested and more interesting if you pro-actively seek variety in these areas of your life? 'I haven’t got time to read!' I hear you say. If you’re reading the right things for you, you don’t have to spend many minutes in any day to trigger new thinking and new ideas. 

Your company and your boss 

Whether you’re working part time or full time, the likelihood is you’re giving more emotional time and energy than the amount of hours that you’re being paid for. That is not a bad thing, by the way, so long as it’s healthy for you. 

But you may want to reflect on where you are professionally. What are you doing, what is the organization and the team you’re doing it for, and who is your leader? If these components are fine, your work-life balance is likely to be in a good place. Quite often though, these elements need slight adjustments, if not a full blown transition, to get them into a better space. 

Your fitness 

At different stages of our life, our work-life balance shifts and resettles in a different place. This could be as a result of moving, changing jobs, embarking on a new relationship or having children. One of the secrets to getting a better work-life balance in any of these scenarios is to be fit. 

This is not about the kind of fitness that helps you run marathons; this is about being fit for where you are at this stage and how much energy you need to be able to perform without regularly making yourself exhausted. If you crave more time in bed in the morning because you’re exhausted, this is partly to do with your work and life being out of balance. If you address the fitness issue both in terms of nutrition and exercise, it’s going to help. 

Wake up your schedule

Many of us love routine. If we have routine and structure and stability in our daily schedule, our work and our life are generally in balance. This is certainly true for many people. But sometimes it is a good idea to break up this schedule, even if only for a short time, so that you can be engaged with different routines. 
Doing so brings a freshness and an energy that was not there before. 

Control 
The more control that we have over our life, the better. Sometimes we feel that things can get out of control. This sometimes happens with other people in our personal life, perhaps where one of our kids gets into a situation that’s less than ideal. Those sort of ad hoc events do occur, but more often our lack of control is over our work and over our travel. 

If it’s to do with our work, we must address it by renegotiating or re-contracting with our boss. The issue of travel can be harder. Where it is possible to travel less, particularly if we’re flying around, do so. There are also going to be times where you might want to negotiate spending your time differently, for example, working from home rather than being at the beck and call of highways and trains. 

Feedback and growth 

Feedback on how we’re doing is a fundamental requirement of a happy, well built person. We are not always in the lucky position where we get feedback spontaneously or regularly, either personally or professionally. 

You want to be bolder in asking for feedback more regularly, not just to know that you’re OK but also to identify where you can grow. 'What can I do in my life and in my work that will make things better, that will allow me to be more effective? How should I spend my time?' These are the questions that you should be able to ask of your boss periodically, not just once a year at the annual review. 

Friends and colleagues 

Good friends and trusted colleagues are a prerequisite to good work-life balance. These will be people that you trust, people that you can lean on in difficult times, people who will pick up the slack when you need that type of support. No one is an island. 

Have security and a plan B 

We all hope that we’re in a secure climate. That security of tenure, particularly in an economic downturn, is so important for retaining balance in our lives. The predictability of the labor situation is not as it used to be, and more and more areas of employment are becoming less secure. 

Have a plan B. If your current position were to end, what would you do? It’s not a question we ask ourselves often and it’s not an answer that is easy for us to give ourselves, but we must give an answer.

Work and non-work 

If you enjoy your work to such a degree that you don’t see the boundaries clearly between when you’re actually doing work and when you’re not, the likelihood is that you’re already engaged in the secret of work-life balance. 

The flipside of this is that your work is becoming too much of an intrusion and that it is causing you stress and anxiety. That clearly is not a good thing. If you have the former state of affairs, then you’ve probably got good work-life balance already. 

http://www.today.com/health/10-secrets-better-work-life-balance-I531921

3 Ways To Find The Person Who's Right For You

Every day, clients tell me that they’re in relationships with people they care about, but their needs aren’t being met. And every day, my sweet, smart, lovely clients ask me how they can change to keep that (mediocre, unfulfilling) relationship going.

Stop right there.

The only change they need to make (that any of us needs to make) is to be more authentically ourselves.

Now, that doesn’t mean you’ll never have to make another compromise. But it does mean that you should never abandon yourself to please another.

It’s human nature to fear the unknown and fear being left alone. But, sweet friend, it's not your partner’s fault if your needs aren't being met. It’s yours.

Responsibility and accountability are yours to wield. Communicate your needs and choose someone who respects, enjoys and loves you.

You must practice getting comfortable with the unknown and with letting go of toxic relationships. You must trust that you can co-create and design the life of your dreams, not by changing to satisfy others, but by embracing love and delving into deeper integrity.

Want to date better and find someone who’s as amazing are you are? Follow these three tips.

1. Practice self-care and self-love.

You won’t find a calm, centered, happy partner when you're frazzled and wound up. You won’t land that confident, loving guy when you’re fraught with self-doubt and anxiety. Spend some time working on yourself and cleaning up your side of the proverbial street, and you’ll be much more likely to find someone who's also balanced and self-aware.

Don’t worry about cultivating a six-pack or getting an MBA if you're not into that. Just focus on becoming the best possible version of you and loving who you are.

2. Express your needs

Some people like to text every day. Some people need a lot of alone time. Some people want their partner to plan exciting dates. All of these needs are equally legitimate. But your partner will never know what your needs are if you don’t tell him. You don't need to open a first date with a checklist, but once things are clicking along, it’s OK to say, “I want you to feel loved and appreciated. How can I do that?” and when you’ve heard her suggestions, you can share yours. When she does what you asked for? Lots and lots of acknowledgement and appreciation.

3. Don’t settle; set a higher standard for who you date

Dating can be exhausting and demoralizing. I know. (I really, really know.) And I know it can be tempting to date that Really Nice Person Who Likes You. But please, hold out for the person who gives you what you need.

No more dating that hot guy who cancels at the last minute. Or the sweet girl who hates her job and is buried in credit card debt. Or that cutie who’s super negative and says snarky things about everything and everyone.

Time and time again, I’ve seen my clients struggle through subpar relationships. Eventually, after heartbreak and hassle, they find their person, and every single time, they say, “I didn’t know it could be this good! I want to shout from the mountain tops! I wish I could convince my friends that they don’t need to put up with that foolishness. They deserve so much better!”

He’s out there. She’s waiting for you. And you’re wasting time with that cutie who isn’t right for you. And you know it.

Of course in any relationship we have to compromise and find a middle ground. But please yourself first and then you will attract someone who is pleased with you.

This means embracing the unknown and being OK with letting go of something or someone who isn't meeting your needs.

Ask yourself this question: "If I weren’t afraid, what would I do?"

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12524/3-ways-to-find-the-person-whos-right-for-you.html

How To Make Anyone (And Everyone) Want You

There are some people who just have it. You know, that thing...

They illuminate a room. Eyes follow them. The spotlight naturally and effortlessly is drawn to them.  

What's their secret? I know, and I'm going to tell you.  

It's called soul. 

People who embody soul are irresistible. Seriously irresistible. Like, I-can't-take-my-eyes-off-you irresistible. Uh huh, it's that good. 

Soulful individuals are always being pursued. People flock to them. They look good, they feel good; they've got that thing. 

Guess what? You can have that thing, too. In fact, you already have it. You just have to tap in and let it shine. That's what this article is going to teach you to do. 

Here are four easy steps to embody your soul and light up a room. Get ready to turn some heads. 

1. Center.

The quality of being centered is strong and peaceful; assured and graceful; aligned and free. 

It feels heavenly to be around centered people because these qualities are so desirable to us. They also aren't the norm. 

We live in a fast-paced, frazzled world, so being a pillar of peace is an oasis in a very dry desert. If you flow with grace and ease, no doubt people will be drawn to flow with you.

So how do you do it? 

Easy. You practice. 

Whether it's meditation (focus on your breath), mindfulness (focus on the now), or just paying attention to what is happening in the present moment, these practices will lead you to embody a sense of calm and ease. 

People will take note. It's a slight shift with a big impact. Train yourself to be here now and watch how others respond to your aura of grace.

2. Be grateful. 

The reason gratitude is paramount in attracting others is because it aligns you with a state of abundance. Abundance overflows – it wants to share. When you're overflowing with good vibes, others will flock by your side. 

Think about it. How does it feel to be around people who are grateful; people who are happy, free-spirited, and gracious? Pretty nice, right? 

Gratitude overflows. It's light, joyful, and yummy. When you feel grateful, you become one with this delectable energy; it's an absolute people magnet! 

Embody your soul by getting your gratitude on. Relish all the beautiful things you encounter during your day, feel it before you go to sleep, and be thankful whenever possible. This practice will greatly increase your personal magnetism, guaranteed. 

3. Live your truth. 

People with that thing have confidence. Not inflated confidence; not narcissism. It's a deep confidence. Faith.

They know what they want, and they know that they're going to get it. This type of unwavering conviction is extremely attractive to us because it's what we all want, too.

We all want to know. We all want to be certain. We all want to believe. Therefore, those who live in this manner are utterly irresistible to us. 

When someone speaks with conviction, we listen. We may not like what they're saying, but we'll listen. Conviction draws a crowd. 

Guess what? You have conviction, too. You may not be aware of it, but you do. It comes in the form of your intuition, your higher self, your truth. 

There's a voice that lives inside you; it's not in your head, it's in your heart. When you listen to this voice you'll be guided in the direction you're supposed to go. And as life unfolds the way you want as a result of listening to this voice, you'll have found your truth. 

There's nothing more captivating than a person on their path. Listen to what the real you has to say, then follow through. People will always be drawn to you as a result to being true to yourself.

4. LOVE.   

Love. Just love. 

Love your city. Love your home. Love your food. Love your dreams. Love your people. Love. 

Love the things that are easy to love, and stretch to love the things that aren't. 

When you love fearlessly, you beam. You're a light in the storm. You're a smile in the crowd. You're a breath of fresh air.

Love is that thing. 

Involve your heart in all that you do and people won't be able to take their eyes off you.  

Make a commitment right now to embody your soul – to be the most irresistible version of you. Center, feel grateful, live your truth and love your heart out, and you will, without a shadow of a doubt, become a magnet to everyone who has the privilege of basking in your light. 

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8907/how-to-make-anyone-and-everyone-want-you.html

A Simple Boost for Social Confidence

An easy self-affirmation exercise helps reduce social insecurities for at least two months.




Sometimes in life we get exactly what we expect. Nowhere is this more true than in social relations.

When we meet someone new, if we expect to like them—for whatever reason—then they tend to like us. If we experience apprehension or nascent dislike then things can quickly go wrong.

Psychologists have called it the ‘acceptance prophecy’ 

The problem is that for insecure or socially nervous individuals it becomes the rejection prophecy. A feeling of apprehension about meeting new people is outwardly expressed as nervous behaviour and this leads to rejection.

But a new paper published in Psychological Science provides a simple exercise that helps boost relational security and should help turn the rejection prophecy back into the acceptance prophecy.

Self-affirmation

Stinson et al. (2011) measured the relational security of 117 participants by asking them how much they agreed with statements like: “My friends regard me as very important in their lives” and “My partner loves and accepts me unconditionally”.

Half of them were then asked to do a very simple self-affirmation task. Participants looked down a list of 11 values including things like spontaneity, creativity, friends and family, personal attractiveness and so on. They put them in order of importance and wrote a couple of paragraphs saying why their top-ranked item was so important.

The results showed that this simple task boosted the relational security of insecure individuals in comparison with a control group. Afterwards their behaviour was seen as less nervous and they reported feeling more secure. And when they were followed up at four and eight weeks later, the benefits were still apparent.

It appears that even a task as simple as this is enough to boost the social confidence of people who feel insecure.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/09/a-simple-boost-for-social-confidence.php

How To Get Rid of Negative Thoughts

Repressing thoughts doesn’t work so here are 8 ways to get rid of negative thoughts.

It’s one of the irritations of having a mind that sometimes it’s hard to get rid of negative thoughts.

It could be a mistake at work, money worries or perhaps a nameless fear. Whatever the anxiety, fear or worry, it can prove very difficult to control.

The most intuitive method to get rid of negative thoughts is trying to suppress them by pushing it out of our minds.

Unfortunately, as many studies have shown, thought suppression doesn't work. Ironically, trying to push thoughts out of mind only makes them come back stronger. It’s a very frustrating finding, but one that’s been replicated experimentally again and again.

So, what alternatives exist to get rid of negative thoughts we’d rather not have going around in our heads?

In an article for American Psychologist, the expert on thought suppression, Daniel Wegner, explains some potential methods to get rid of negative thoughts (Wegner, 2011). Here are my favourite:

1. Focused distraction

The natural tendency when trying to get your mind off, say, a social gaff you made, is to try and think about something else: to distract yourself. The mind wanders around looking for new things to focus on, hopefully leaving you in peace.

Distraction does work but, oddly enough, studies suggest it is better to distract yourself with one thing, rather than letting the mind wander.

That’s because aimless mind wandering is associated with unhappiness; it’s better to concentrate on, say, a specific piece of music, a TV programme or a task.

2. Avoid stress

Another intuitive method for avoiding persistent thoughts is to put ourselves under stress. The thinking here is that the rush will leave little mental energy for the thoughts that are troubling us.

When tested scientifically, this turns out to be a bad approach. In fact, rather than being a distraction, stress makes the unwanted thoughts come back stronger, so it certainly should not be used as a way of avoiding unpleasant thoughts.

3. Postpone the thought until later

While continuously trying to suppress a thought makes it come back stronger, postponing it until later can work.

Researchers have tried asking those with persistent anxious thoughts to postpone their worrying until a designated 30-minute ‘worry period’. Some studies suggest that people find this works as a way of side-stepping thought suppression.

So save up all your worrying for a designated period and this may ease your mind the rest of the time.

4. Paradoxical therapy

What if, instead of trying to suppress a worrying repetitive thought about, say, death, you head straight for it and concentrate on it?

It seems paradoxical that focusing in on a thought might help it go away, but some research suggests this can work. It’s based on the long-established principle of ‘exposure therapy': this is where, for example, arachnophobes are slowly but surely exposed to spiders, until the fear begins to fade.

This approach is not for the faint-hearted, but research suggests it can be useful to get rid of negative thoughts when used by those tackling obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviour.

5. Acceptance

Along similar lines, but not so direct, there’s some evidence that trying to accept unwanted thoughts rather than doing battle with them can be beneficial. Here are the instructions from one study which found it decreased participants’ distress:

“Struggling with your target thought is like struggling in quicksand. I want you to watch your thoughts. Imagine that they are coming out of your ears on little signs held by marching soldiers. I want you to allow the soldiers to march by in front of you, like a little parade. Do not argue with the signs, or avoid them, or make them go away. Just watch them march by.” (Marcks & Woods, 2005, p. 440)

6. Meditate

Similar to acceptance, Buddhist mindfulness meditation promotes an attitude of compassion and non-judgement towards the thoughts that flit through the mind. This may also be a helpful approach to get rid of negative thoughts.

There is a basic guide to mindfulness meditation in this article on how meditation improves attention.

7. Self-affirmation

Self-affirmation is the latest psychological cure-all. It involves thinking about your positive traits and beliefs and has been found to increase social confidence and self-control, amongst other benefits.

It may also be helpful to get rid of negative thoughts, although it has only been tested experimentally a few times.

8. Write about it

In contrast to self-affirmation, expressive writing—writing about your deepest thoughts and feelings—has been tested extensively and it does have various health and psychological benefits (although generally only with a small effect).

Writing emotionally about yourself, then, may help to get rid of negative thoughts.

The disclaimer

A note on how to get rid of negative thoughts from Daniel Wegner:

“The techniques and therapies explored here vary from the well established to the experimental, but it should be remembered that, on balance, they lean toward the experimental…these assembled solutions for unwanted thoughts should be taken as hypotheses and possibilities rather than as trusty remedies or recommendations.”

That said, none of these techniques are likely to do any harm and all of them are probably an improvement on thought suppression.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/10/setting-free-the-bears.php

10 Grateful Steps to Happiness

 

Here are Dr Robert Emmons’ top 10 tips for actually becoming more grateful, and consequently more happy.

1. Keep a gratitude journal
Sit down, daily, and write about the things for which you are grateful. Start with whatever springs to mind and work from there. Try not to write the same thing every day but explore your gratefulness.

2. Remember the bad
The way things are now may seem better in the light of bad memories. Don’t forget the bad things that have happened, the contrast may encourage gratefulness.

3. Ask yourself three questions
Choose someone you know, then first consider what you have received from them, second what you have given to them and thirdly what trouble you have caused them. This may lead to discovering you owe others more than you thought.

4. Pray
Whether you are Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim or atheist, a ritualised form of giving thanks may help increase gratitude.

5. Use your senses
80% of people say they are thankful for their health. If so, then get back in touch with the simple human fact of being able to sense what is out there: use your vision, touch, taste and smell to experience the world, and be thankful you can.

6. Use visual reminders

Two big obstacles to being grateful are simply forgetting and failing to be mindful. So leave a note of some kind reminding you to be grateful. It could be a post-it, an object in your home or another person to nudge you occasionally.

7. Swear an oath to be more grateful
Promise on whatever you hold holy that you’ll be more grateful. Sounds crazy? There’s a study to show it works.

8. Think grateful thoughts
Called ‘automatic thoughts’ or self-talk in cognitive therapy, these are the habitual things we say to ourselves all day long. What if you said to yourself: “My life is a gift” all day long? Too cheesy? OK, what about: “Every day is a surprise”.

9. Acting grateful is being grateful
Say thank you, become more grateful. It’s that simple.

10. Be grateful to your enemies?
It’ll take a big creative leap to be thankful to the people who you most despise. But big creative leaps are just the kind of things likely to set off a change in yourself. Give it a try.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/09/10-grateful-steps-to-happiness.php

Practicing Gratitude Can Increase Happiness by 25%

Psychological research finds that people’s happiness levels are remarkably stable over the long-term. Whether you win the lottery or are paralysed from the neck down, after about three to six months you’ll have returned to your usual level of happiness. While these findings are deeply counter-intuitive, they also raise a serious problem for those wanting to increase levels of happiness permanently.

A possible answer comes from recent research in the psychology of gratitude. Yes, you read that correctly – being thankful might be the key to raising your happiness ‘set-point’. And there is some good experimental evidence to back up this theory.

Counting blessings versus burdens

In his new book ‘thanks!‘, Dr. Robert A. Emmons describes research he carried out with three experimental groups over 10 weeks (Emmons & McCullough, 2003):

1. The first group were asked to write down five things they were grateful for that had happened in the last week for each of the 10 weeks of the study. This was called the gratitude condition.
2. The second group were asked to write down five daily hassles from the previous week. This was the hassles condition.
3. The third group simply listed five events that had occurred in the last week, but not told to focus on positive or negative aspects. This was the events or control condition.

The types of things people listed in the grateful condition included:

• Sunset through the clouds.
• The chance to be alive.
• The generosity of friends.

And in the hassles condition:

• Taxes.
• Hard to find parking.
• Burned my macaroni and cheese.

Before the experiment began participants had kept daily journals to chronicle their moods, physical health and general attitudes. These was then used to provide a comparison for after the experimental intervention.

Happiness up 25%

People who were in the gratitude condition felt fully 25% happier – they were more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives and they even did almost 1.5 hours more exercise a week than those in the hassles or events condition.

All this from reflecting on the pleasure of having seen the sunset through the clouds? Dr Emmons also expresses surprise at the findings of the study, partly because there are some reasons practising gratitude might not be so good.

For example, focussing on gratitude reminds us what we owe to others. This may in turn remind us of our dependence on others and reduce a sense of personal control. Thinking in terms of gratitude may also focus us on the debts we owe to others and, studies have shown, people don’t enjoy feeling indebted to others.

Just the effect of positive comparisons, or really gratitude?

Yet, despite these reasons why gratitude might not increase happiness, it seems that it does. But does the benefit from the gratitude condition simply result from thinking about how we are better off than others?

In a second study, very similar to the first described above, Emmons and McCullough changed one of the control conditions. Instead of asking people to write down any events from the week, people were asked to list ways in which they were better off than others. The idea was that in this condition people are making positive comparisons but are not necessarily thinking gratefully (although it can’t be ruled out!).

Again, though, the results showed that those in the gratitude condition were significantly happier than those making positive comparisons between themselves and others. Unsurprisingly those practising being grateful were also happier than those focussing on daily hassles.

Gratitude can help those with chronic health problems

A good criticism of the first two studies was that they were carried out in undergraduate students. It’s all very well increasing the happiness of young, healthy college students, but what about people with serious, chronic health problems?

In a third study Emmons and McCullough recruited adults who had neuromuscular disorders, often as a delayed result of surviving infection by the polio virus. While not life-threatening the condition can be seriously debilitating, causing joint and muscle pain as well as muscle atrophy. People with this condition have a good reason to be dissatisfied with the hand life has dealt them.

In this study a gratitude condition was compared to a control condition in which participants wrote about their daily experience. After the 21 day study, participants in the gratitude condition were found to be more satisfied with their lives overall, more optimistic about the upcoming week and crucially, were sleeping better. Good sleep is important as it has been found to be a great indicator of overall well-being. People who sleep well are generally healthier and happier than those whose sleep is poor.

Practising gratitude

Even if gratefulness has benefits in the short-term, it still raises more long-term questions. What are the major obstacles to living a grateful life? Can gratefulness really increase happiness over a lifetime? Finally, how exactly can gratefulness be increased? It’s this last question that I’ll be addressing in the next post with Dr Emmons’ top ten methods for practising gratitude.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/09/practicing-gratitude-can-increase.php

10 Ways Gratitude Can Change Your Life & 4 Step Gratitude Plan

Gratitude can motivate others, increase self-control, build social ties and more…plus 4-step gratitude plan.

Gratitude is the new miracle emotion.

Although gratitude has been around for as long as human beings, it’s only recently started to get the big thumbs-up from science.

So here are 10 ways gratitude can change your life, followed by a quick 4-step plan to help maximise your own gratitude, whatever level you start from.

There’s even a trick for those suffering from ‘gratitude burnout’.

1. Happier

Gratitude is different things to different people: amongst them could be counting your blessings, savouring what life has given you, thanking someone or wondering at the natural world.

Whatever form it takes, one of the best known and most researched effects of practising gratitude is it makes you happier.

Participants in one study were 25% happier, on average, after practising a little gratitude over a 10-week period.

2. More satisfied

Gratitude isn’t just about feeling better, it’s also about thinking better.

In other words: it’s not just a fleeting sensation, it can also be a thought that sustains you.

That’s why people who feel more gratitude also feel more satisfied with their lives.

Gratitude better enables people to notice the things they do have, rather than mourning what’s missing.

3. Motivate others

When we say ‘thank you’ to others, it’s an expression of gratitude, but it can also act as a powerful motivator for them to help us again.

It could be as simple as sending a thank you email when someone has helped you out.

A gratitude study found that a thank you email doubled the number of people willing to help in the future:

“…the effect of ‘thank you’ was quite substantial: while only 32% of participants receiving the neutral email helped with the second letter, when Eric expressed his gratitude, this went up to 66%.”

They also found that:

“…people weren’t providing more help because they felt better or it boosted their self-esteem, but because they appreciated being needed and felt more socially valued when they’d been thanked.”

 

4. Reduce materialism

We all need some stuff in our lives, but sometimes the desire for more things can get out of control.

And our nascent desire for stuff is heavily encouraged by society in so many ways.

Gratitude can combat materialism by helping us appreciate what we already have.

As the Greek philosopher Epicurus said:

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

By law, all credit cards should have this quote across the front in fluorescent pink.

5. Increase self-control

It’s not true that the emotions tend to get in the way of decision-making; that we should be ‘cold’ and ‘calculating’ to make the right choices.

Quite the reverse: the feeling of gratitude can actually help people make the right decisions.

Professor Ye Li, whose research has established a link between gratitude and self-control explains:

“Showing that emotion can foster self-control and discovering a way to reduce impatience with a simple gratitude exercise opens up tremendous possibilities for reducing a wide range of societal ills from impulse buying and insufficient saving to obesity and smoking.”

It probably works because gratitude makes us feel less selfish, which gives us more patience.

6. Enrich our children

Encouraging gratitude in children can have remarkable effects.

One study found that kids who are more grateful feel life has more meaning, get more satisfaction from life, are happier and experience less negative emotions.

Dr. Giacomo Bono, who led the study, said his findings suggested:

“…that gratitude may be strongly linked with life-skills such as cooperation, purpose, creativity and persistence and, as such, gratitude is vital resource that parents, teachers and others who work with young people should help youth build up as they grow up.

More gratitude may be precisely what our society needs to raise a generation that is ready to make a difference in the world.”

7. Improve your relationship

Being grateful to your partner for all the little kindnesses they do can make all the difference to a relationship.

Research by Dr. Sara Algoe and colleagues, found that gratitude helps to maintain intimate relationships.

Algoe said:

“Feelings of gratitude and generosity are helpful in solidifying our relationships with people we care about, and benefit to the one giving as well as the one on the receiving end.”

8. Build social ties

Just as very close intimate relationships benefit from gratitude; so do our wider ties to family and friends.

Gratitude has been linked to many positive social outcomes:

• People who are more grateful report better relationships with their peers.
• Gratitude enhances people’s ability to form and nurture relationships, as well as boosting how satisfied they are with them.

It really seems that gratitude has the power to deepen our connections with others.

9. Better health

Although there’s relatively little research on this, gratitude has been linked to better physical health, especially better sleep, and lower levels of stress.

Given that both stress levels and sleep are related to general physical health, this is not a surprise.

10. Resilience

Given that the world can be a nasty place, filled with nasty surprises, it’s vital to have good coping skills.

People with gratitude tend to have just that.

When faced with challenges in life, they tend to eschew denial, self-blame and substance abuse in favour of active coping, seeking support from others, positive reinterpretation and growth.

How to be grateful

Hopefully you’re convinced by now that gratitude is an emotion that’s worth cultivating.

And it is something that can be cultivated.

Studies have repeatedly shown that we can train things sometimes thought of as hard-wired or pre-set, like our gratitude, optimism and enthusiasm.

So here are a few things you can try…

1. 2-minute exercise

Think of three things that you are grateful for: that benefit you and without which your life would be poorer.

Then, if you’ve got time, you can think about the causes for these good things.

And that’s it.

2. Simple steps

Try one or more of these 10 grateful steps to happiness to take the 2-minute exercise a little further.

They include keeping a gratitude journal, using your senses to notice what’s around you and even remembering bad times to help provide a realistic frame for current events.

3. Repeat and explore

Repeat any, all or none of these exercises at regular intervals.

If it’s none, because they don’t work for you, then invent your own, or reconnect with an existing way of practicing gratefulness which is personal to you.

The more you can keep at it, the more likely it is to become a habit.

4. Avoid gratitude burnout

Like everything in life, we can get fed up with gratitude after a while if it gets to samey.

Avoid gratitude burnout by remembering that all things must come to an end — enjoy them while you still can.

“…being encouraged to think grateful thoughts was not enough to increase happiness.

What made the grateful thoughts beneficial was focusing on the imminent end of this pleasurable experience.

Thinking about endpoints as a way of stimulating gratitude can be beneficial.

Finite ends seem to inspire people to think carefully about what it is they have, because soon enough, and usually sooner than we would like to think, it will be gone.”

http://www.spring.org.uk/2014/07/10-ways-gratitude-can-change-your-life-4-step-gratitude-plan.php