The Time to Give Back (As Told By a Friend)



To give back is to freely offer yourself for the benefit of other people, for a worthy cause, and philanthropy (to promote the welfare of others) in general. What to give back and how is up to you. The principle element is time. We can be very busy with our lives. For most of us, our time spins about the performance or our employer's work, care for our family, and sleep. We fit in relaxation, a trip to visit a relative, and perhaps a vacation, but then, quite a lot of us believe that all of our available time is exhausted. We are exhausted.

You have heard the term multi-tasking. If you discipline yourself to do it, you can accomplish multiple activities simultaneously. This may be a fine way for busy people to give back. When you arrive at the grocery store, with your list, take the time to look at yourself in the vanity mirror. Are you smiling? Do you have a pleasant demeanor on your face? No? Well, put one there. As you walk the aisles, make eye contact and smile. You are giving back. Say something kind and polite to a brother/sister shopper. You have given back more. Compliment the store clerk who passes by. Tell the clerk that the aisle is neat, clean, and well-lit, and that you love to shop there. You gave back again.

Giving back is also getting back. As you leave the store, the many positive encounters that you had with other people will calm you, lower your blood pressure, make you feel better about yourself as a person, and the smile on your face will stick naturally. You will not have to work so hard to put it there. Get in your car and drive home. Don't ride the bumper of the car in front of you. Be mindful of the other drivers. When they signal, allow them to drive into your lane. Wave thanks to them when they are kind to you. Tell yourself that you don't own the road. If you see other drivers who act like they own the road, realize that the other may be young and inexperienced, stressed, or possibly ill. Give way and pray for them later. Give back.

I turned sixty-years-old recently. I was blessed to be able to retire. My youngest child will marry in 14 days. Only my wife and I will live at our house. I have an abundance of time on my hands, need to expand my social circles, and devise reasons to get out of my house. This is an extraordinary time for me to give back. I gave blood yesterday. I have become more active in my church. I have made my friends welcome to come over to my house for visits. We have begun to play games. All of them still work. I listen to them, encourage them, and help them when I can. Two of them now refer to me as their best friend. I help my neighbors when I see them labor with yard work. One of them has invited me to go fishing. We barely spoke to each other before.

I feel better about myself. Giving back has become my habit. I look for new ways to do it. For me, and perhaps for you, it is no longer about finding the time. Maybe, it never was about that.


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