How To Make Work Life Balance a Reality

Recently I was speaking with a colleague who was venting the challenges of balancing her work schedule saying she regularly has calls at 6am to accommodate professionals on the east coast and in the same day will also have calls scheduled at 11pm with professionals in another part of the world. She said it felt like she could work around the clock and still not be able to meet the demands of her work life.

Technology, the World Wide Web, and many other challenges have contributed to a world where we could literally work around the clock 24/7 if we let others' demands and requests rule our day. With schedules filled with endless calls, meetings, networking events, action items and urgent deadlines our careers can feel like we are chasing, but never quite catching, that dangling carrot called Work Life Balance or the new and improved Work Life Fit.

It is time to take back your life by utilizing some handy calendaring tools (using Microsoft Outlook email service as an example) and following a few time management tips. You will have more personal time to spend with family, friends and/or in peace-filled solitude re-fueling your energy reserves, so you can be your best self and produce your highest quality work product on a regular basis.

Tips for Making Work Life Balance a Reality:

1) Boundaries: We each personally know, better than anyone else, the workload we are carrying on our plates and when those plates are filled to overflowing. It is not uncommon to feel resentful when we are overwhelmed and overloaded with continuous requests and commands from our clients and/or work colleagues. What is important to remember, is that the people sending those requests rarely know the workload we are carrying. This is why creating, broadcasting and protecting boundaries is critical in the prevention of burnout which can lead to requests falling through the cracks, poor quality workmanship and even health issues.

2) Get clear on the hours you are willing to work. Common sense is necessary here; if you work in a field which requires 40 to 50 hour work weeks attempting to work 30 hours a week may not go well for you. However, on the flip side, working 80 to 100 hour work weeks is unreasonable and long-term could be a danger to your health and well-being. Use your calendar to map out your work hours. Block off recurring time-frames in advance to: catch-up on emails (mark as busy), take calls & meet with your team (mark block of time as available until these time-frames fill in), etc. Be careful with being too flexible with your time, it could easily lead to an overflowing work plate.

3) Manage your time. If you have deliverables, presentations, etc., block off time in your calendar to diligently work on those projects and then be loyal to those time frames. Don't cheat yourself (and your team) by accepting additional work unless you realistically know you have the bandwidth/means to complete everything with quality and pride. This free guide will take you through the Apps that will help you manage your time efficiently. 

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4) Manage expectations. If you have projects you anticipate will require calls at 6am and 11pm; build your schedule around those calls. Pick the days of the week you are willing to be available during each time frame, create blocks in your calendar (showing available) for those time frames and then communicate that availability when necessary. Also, create compensatory blocks of time (mark as busy) before or after the fact to ensure you still have time to catch-up on email, complete assignments, get sufficient sleep, etc.

5) Protect your personal time. Responding to emails, accepting meetings, projects and calls during the time frame you have dedicated as your personal time communicates that your personal time is less valuable than another's. Block off your personal time in your calendar, including family/me-time (busy), time at the gym (busy) and when you plan to sleep (recurring out of office) and protect that time as if it were a doctor's appointment for a loved one. Your health and well-being could depend upon it.

6) A No and a Yes. "I'm unable to do ABC, but what I can do is XYZ" This technique is very powerful. It conveys that you are a team player, have a genuine desire to help and puts the control of your workload in your hands. You know what your availability is and what it isn't. Here is an example of a No and a Yes "I'm working to meet a tight deadline, but if this (request) can wait until Wednesday (offer genuine availability), I would be happy to take a look at it then."

7) Add Reminders: Not all email requests are urgent (despite the all caps and exclamation points). Many emails can often be assigned a future date and time to revisit. This is especially handy if you have a number of urgent matters you are working on, but want to make sure the lower priority items don't fall through the cracks. If you use Outlook as your email service, there is a follow-up feature (icon shows as a red flag). Right-clicking on the flag and then selecting Add Reminder will open a box with an option to add a reminder. Assign the specific date and time you plan to address the request, click OK, save and then close the email. You will receive a pop-up reminder on the date and time you selected with the email attached to the reminder.

8) Create and practice verbal responses. One of the most difficult parts of broadcasting boundaries is knowing what to say. Draft a few phrases that fit your work-life scenarios, practice saying them out load (in the car when you're alone works' great!) and then use those phrases to protect the time-frames you have blocked off. Here are a few examples: "I have another call at that time that I am unable to reschedule, but let's schedule a follow-up call to go over any action items I can help with"; "I would like to help, but I have several urgent deadlines I am working to meet. If this can wait until [offer time frame] I should have some time and would be happy to help"; "I will be on vacation, but can check in with you when I return to see if you still need assistance."

Creating healthy boundaries can help to prevent you from feeling like a hamster forever running on that workplace hamster wheel. What happens to that hamster when it can no longer run on the wheel? What is it costing you long-term to work unreasonable hours with an overloaded work plate?

Ultimately, it is beneficial for you, your colleagues, your clients and even your place of employment when you are healthy, rested and experiencing a sense of work life balance. It boosts your energy, improves your ability to focus and makes growing your career a much more enjoyable process with a greater likelihood of long-term success.

Also the following tools and Apps will help you manage your time properly, have a good balance between your and your life and yet, observe greater productivity levels.

Click Here to Download Your FREE Guide

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Make-Work-Life-Balance-a-Reality&id=9311006

Mindfulness & Wellness

You're probably wondering what mindfulness and wellness, could possibly have to do with each other? And it is indeed a good question.

Somewhere in the early 70's, when the world was recovering from war and recession, there was some time to look around and be aware of the overall situation. Clinical psychologists noticed that people were far less attentive to their surroundings and almost oblivious to the things happening in their life with every passing second!

This may not seem like a problem when we talk on a second to second basis, but when we take into account an entire day or week or even months, it becomes a form of unconscious neglect. We start neglecting small things and soon we start neglecting important things. Mindfulness is a concept, appropriated from ancient Buddhist roots, and clinically innovated by Jon Kabat-Zinn. The idea of mindfulness involves being aware moment-to-moment, of one's subjective conscious experience from a first-person perspective. It involves having absolute focus on our actions and as someone wisely said, Actions have consequences!

With respect to wellness, mindfulness plays a very important role, considering that wellness depends on the fundamental principle, that one knows he is unwell.

So, with that simple idea in mind, let's begin.

Understanding Mindfulness

• Mindfulness is not as much about paying attention on the good things, as it is about not paying attention to the bad things. If there are ideas or thoughts that make you feel down and negative, it is important to keep in mind that you aren't supposed to be focused on them.

• Mindfulness connects areas of the brain that deals with the cognitive functions and attention. The process involves paying attention to the details and not missing out on important things.

• There is growing evidence that mindfulness can alter the brain and the resulting triggers "the relaxation response" that can turn sets of genes on or off.

• Making mindfulness part of your life can be life changing and your health and general wellbeing will greatly benefit from it.

If we look at it from a logical point of view, it makes absolute sense that mindfulness and wellness make complete sense.

Example:

You fall sick and go to the doctor. You're diagnosed with flu. Easy, get your dose of antibiotics and drink plenty of water. You'll be spick and span before you know it!

But take a quick rewind, to the week right before you fell sick and went to the doctor.

Remember that discomfort in your throat? The one you cleared by drinking water?

And then there was the time you sneezed. Not once, a few times every hour. That was ignored since you blamed it on the pollution.

If you follow the chain, you'll find another hundred small symptoms that led to the eventual disease. And that is when you realise you've been neglecting the signals.

Another example:

You failed your math test. You're absolutely sad and feel really bad about it. So you talk to your family and friends, spend a day or two crying it out. That is logical.

But then for some reason, you decide to keep talking about it. The most common among these habits, is the initial post mortem of the question paper! You'll do everything to spot that one error the teacher made.

If someone stops you, you justify it by saying, "I am learning from my mistakes!" Correction. That is not learning from your mistakes that is not being able to go past your mistakes.

Mindfulness, is about being aware of every single moment. Because each and every moment you are contributing to your wellness. Mindfulness focuses the human brain on what is being sensed every moment, instead of on its normal rumination on the past or on the future. Although science doesn't have all the answers yet about the relationship between mindfulness and wellness, it is thorough that the physical changes in the brain have a direct influence on improved health.

Impact of Mindfulness on Wellness

1. Avoid stress

When we are mindful of each and every moment, we are in control of our mind. This control allows us to avoid unnecessary stress and worry. We learn to take things as they come.

2. Better Productivity

Mindful people, on record show better productivity than people who keep focusing on their past or their future too much. Those who live in the present and enjoy it, win.

3. Better Health

Overall health gets the undivided attention it needs. As discussed in one of the examples, when we live life worrying about everything, we ignore or neglect the things here and now. Mindfulness ensures that we pay more attention to our health.

4. Increases Mental Acuity

Mindfulness is not simply about awareness, it also includes observation. So when you are mindful, you are also being acutely observant of all the things around you. This increases mental acuity.

5. Helps with Coping

When we are mindful, we cope better with things. We become aware of what affects us and in what way. This leads us to avoid negativity and heal faster.

Mindfulness has been used in psychotherapy as a tool to deal with mental stress, tensions, anxiety and a whole host of other problems.

The truth is, we are all running. Running towards something, running away from something! But we are running. This chase has led us to a stage where we don't take a moment to stop and think, "This moment is never going to come back!"

We prepare for a future that is not promised and we think of a past which we cannot change. Instead, why not simply choose to live the present and be mindful of every moment? Sounds like a much better deal to me.

Good news is, with the advancement in technology, many Apps and tools have been created to help with mindfulness. If you want to be helped with relaxing faster, increasing your productivity, getting rid of stress and anxiety, and much more, this FREE 10 best Apps guide will help you greatly.

Click Here to Download Your FREE Guide

http://ezinearticles.com/?Mindfulness-and-Wellness&id=9338970

6 Tips To Fake Self-Confidence When You Have None (Told by a woman)

So many women suffer from a lack of self-confidence because of what society deems as beauty. I am one of those women. I have an idea of beautiful and in my eyes, I'm not it. I am constantly looking in the mirror wishing my nose was smaller or my hair was different instead of embracing the beauty of my uniqueness. I'm really trying to work on it because I want my daughters to grow up to be confident women. I don't want them to grow up scrutinizing every "flaw" they think they see. They are unique and beautiful and there is no one in the world exactly like them.

"In a world full of social media, we tend to let others decide our self-worth based on the number of likes on our selfies."

No matter how insecure you are, you can come across as confident while you work on your self-confidence. Here are my budget-friendly tips to appear more self-confident, even when you aren't.

6 Tips To Fake Self-Confidence Even When You Have None

Hold Your Head High

First and foremost, NEVER look down at your feet when you walk. Hold your head high and make eye contact when you walk by someone. I still find myself looking down sometimes when a 

person walks by me and I have to remind myself to "look up". Give them a smile or ask them how they are doing, but don't look down at your feet when you walk by someone.

Put On Your Favorite Outfit

We all have that ONE outfit that makes us feel good. It doesn't have to be a cocktail dress. It could be your favorite pair of jeans that fit just right after many years of wear or it could be a top that is your favorite color and makes your eyes pop. Either way, we feel better about ourselves when we are wearing something we feel good in.

Create A "SEXY" Playlist

Am I the only one who has that certain song that makes me feel sexy?? Create a playlist! I have a playlist titled Sexy and it is FULL of songs that make me feel like a sexy woman! It completely changes my mindset and makes me want to strut my stuff! It is a quick confidence boost when I need it and I can hit repeat as many times as I need to!

Shave Your Legs

There is just something about freshly shaved legs that make me feel good about myself. It makes me feel more womanly when my legs are smooth and freshly shaven. Even in the winter, I try to shave regularly. I know I will be wearing pants in the winter so no one will see, but self-confidence is about what you think of yourself, not what others think.

Put On Lip Gloss

On the way to work, I try to remember to put on some lip gloss. When I wear lip gloss, I just feel more put together, no matter what I am wearing. When I feel more put together, I feel more confident about myself. Just reapply as necessary!

Unmentionables

What you wear underneath your clothes may not be seen by others, but you know it is there. "Granny panties" may be comfortable (and yes I am known to wear them at night), but they probably won't do much for a confidence boost. A nice bra and pair of panties, matching set or not, can really increase your confidence! It is like you have a secret that no one else knows and we all LOVE to be part of a secret!

Everyone is different and has their own ways of boosting or showing self-confidence. When you are comfortable in your own skin it shows in your body language. Of course there are many other tips such as going out and buying a new outfit or getting your hair done, but these tips are things you can do everyday that don't require you to go out and spend money. Fake it until you make it!

"You are not defined by the number of likes on your selfie."

http://ezinearticles.com/?6-Tips-To-Fake-Self-Confidence-When-You-Have-None&id=9329813

27 Quotes by John Wooden to Motivate You to Be Better

'Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.'

John Wooden was arguably known as much for his wisdom off the court as he was for his ability to win championships on it.

The legendary UCLA men's basketball coach and six-time national coach of the year won 10 NCAA championships in 12 years—including an unprecedented seven in a row. He preached simplicity, patience and character building, and his pyramid of success has been used in board rooms and locker rooms alike. He inspired former players, including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Bill Walton, but his inspirational words reached beyond the stands, too, influencing the lives of many more.

As one of the only people inducted into the Hall of Fame as a player and a coach, Wooden’s motivation and mentorship lives on as a testament to his greatness. Find your inspiration from these 27 “Woodenisms”:

1. “Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.”

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2. “If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”

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3. “It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”

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4. “Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll argue with you.”

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5. “Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you capable of becoming.”

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6. “Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendships a fine art, drink deeply from good books—especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.”

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7. “Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.”

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8. “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”

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9. “The most important thing in the world is family and love.”

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10. “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

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11. “I worry that business leaders are more interested in material gain than they are in having the patience to build up a strong organization, and a strong organization starts with caring for their people.”

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12. “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

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13. “The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.”

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14. “Never lie, never cheat, never steal.”

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15. “You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.”

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16. “Adversity is the state in which man most easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then.”

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17. “Young people need models, not critics.”

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18. “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”

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19. “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

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20. “It’s what you learn are you know it all that counts.”

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21. “I think you have to be what you are. Don’t try to be somebody else. You have to be yourself at all times.”

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22. “Today is the only day. Yesterday is gone.”

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23. “Never mistake activity for achievement.”

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24. “Don’t let making a living prevent you from making a life.”

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25. “Don’t measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.”

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26. “If you’re true to yourself, you’re going to be true to everyone else.”

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27. “You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”

http://www.success.com/article/27-quotes-by-john-wooden-to-motivate-you-to-be-better

Finding Our Own Innate Wisdom

As we venture on our life's journey our own innate wisdom deep inside is our challenge in daily life for many of us. As we search for the meaning of who we are and what we are destined to be and do with this lifetime, we need to contemplate and ponder on the bigger questions.

As doing this and giving ourselves the space and time in today's society we find it harder as we search for the meaning of life. For most people I have experienced that this quest is something that does not come into itself until we are in mid-life and we find that we need to take more responsibility for who we are and what we have created understanding that the time to live our truth is becoming limited.

Some of the most common questions asked are: What is the meaning of life? What is my life about? What is my life worth to me and to others? What am I meant to be doing to express the greater part of my being? Who am I really? What is my greatness in all of this?

These are all questions we start to ask when we are ready to find out the deeper side of ourselves. For some this will never come to light and some will never ask. The quest for answers is something that comes as we delve into the ancient wisdom and answer the question 'Who am I really?'

I wonder how many recognise the awesomeness deep within their being and if they do, is it acknowledged. When we open up the Finding Our Own Innate Wisdom doors to our true self to honesty, we set ourselves free to become truly authentic. Being REAL is not always easy as our baggage from the past can drag us down and bring self-doubt. We need to move past that and into our true essence by understanding that all our past are our lessons to becoming our true innate self. Embrace the gift of life's lessons so that we can become a 'better me' so that the lesson does not continue to repeat and continue the cycle, not only in our life but in the next generation too.

We all have our own truth, which is not necessarily other people's. We project our own truth in every thought, word, feeling and action. Just because our truth is true for us, does not mean that it is truth for another. We are a result of the learning from our early care givers who taught us as they knew life from their own experiences. These were what we needed at the time. As we grow older and wiser we hopefully learn to understand what serves us now, as clear thinking adults, and question the validity in our own world that we have created through our own experiences.

As we grow and discover our own truth and live by it, understanding what is right for us as an individual, we start resonating with others who are like-minded. I have found that my values and beliefs have changed and varied as I have got older as I have modified them to what feels right for me now as I am and not as I was. Our authenticity is our truth. It is something that we feel with every fibre of our being. It is heart felt and not from the head. It is our intuition or gut feel that talks to us and resonates from deep within with a feeling of knowing. The deeper you go into that feeling of knowing, the more you will start to understand your own deep truth of who you really are. Reveal yourself, for you are unique and special.

As adults we all have within us our own hidden fears, doubts and worries at times. By allowing the wise and powerful part of ourselves, our higher self, to show itself in its true light, we can overcome the doubts and fears that often consume us and our lives.

Allow your passions, values, talents, abilities and sense of purpose to been seen by those who have the ability to see them. I find it so very hard to watch those with extreme talent and gifts squander them as a result of their own self-worth and inability to walk through the past. We are unable to change what life has brought us. We only have now, the present. The past is gone and the future is the future. Enjoying what is now and living in moment, instead of the past or what could be, we become free to be who we really are.

Until we really understand our real purpose of why we are here and what we are to do in this life, we will be short-changing not only ourselves but others too, by not showing the world our true unique identity. When we understand what we are here in this life to do and be, then we will know the importance of leaving a legacy behind, when our time on earth is over.

I leave you with this one last question to ponder. What do you want people to say about you when you die and your name is mentioned?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Finding-Our-Own-Innate-Wisdom&id=9331101

How to Handle What Other People Say During Grief

Everyone has experienced some sort of loss which has left them in grief or some other similar state. Thing is, there are often two sides to the situation.

There is of course, the person who has just entered the state of loss. And there are the people around that person - friends, colleagues, relatives, and so forth, who are looking in at the situation from the outside.

Let's look at the latter, first.

Most people who are looking in from the outside have, themselves, experienced loss and grief even though they may not currently be there. However, because they had at some point experienced a loss, they do know the feeling (in their own personal way).

And, because they have empathy for the situation, many people will offer some sort of condolence. It may be a few words like: "I'm sorry to hear about your loss" or "They are in a better place." Rarely, will these kinds of statements really offer consolation to the grieving party however it should not be looked upon as what is said as much as the fact that other human beings had empathy for your situation.

Why is this the case?

Well, this can best be answered by talking about the person who is currently grieving. A very popular resource in the grieving process includes the concepts of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who proposed the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The person who has experienced recent loss may be in any of these stages and it's not always easy to tell which one. So when an outside person attempts empathy, it may or may not be well received depending on the stage.

Thus, the person offering empathy may be rejected or even yelled at for their effort and the person experiencing loss may feel insulted by what they perceive as insensitive or inappropriate comments. Thing is, it could all be because of the stage of grief the grieving person may be experiencing at that moment.

With this, for those offering empathy, know that it's not about the response but about the effort. And for the person in grief, realize... maybe at a later time, that people in your life had cared enough to reach out. You might not be able to receive it at the time it was given, but eventually, you might see it. And when you do, you can know that people truly do understand!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Handle-What-Other-People-Say-During-Grief&id=9287176

Adventure: 10 Ways to Adventure Daily

Daily Adventure Tips:

1. Ditch Technology.

I know you don't like this one but the truth is you can't be in the moment, enjoying your life, if you're checking your cell phone every 5 seconds to see who 'liked' your post. Let it go. Not only will you feel more relaxed, you'll actually listen and be available to anyone you talk to and you might even want to adventure outdoors for a walk or hike. Don't get crazy now!

2. Talk to Strangers.

Yeah, I know your parents said not to but grow up already. The more people you talk to today, the happier you'll be. Why? Because connecting with others releases happy chemicals that make you feel better. Also, you might have a little laugh, learn something new, or even make a friend that takes you on all kinds of adventures. You never know.

3. Take a New Route to Work.

Don't you ever get tired of the same old drive? Try a new route to work and see what else is around you. You might see a new restaurant you'd like to try, a park you think would be an awesome lunch get-a-way, or even discover that you've been taking the longest route to work for 10 years.

4. Take Your Lunch.

Stop sitting at your desk, gobbling your food down during your lunch break. Get out of that office! Put the work aside and take a breather. In fact, lunch breaks are a great time to meet up with friends, do a little window shopping, or take a walk somewhere new. (Notice the theme of 'new' here? That's what adventure's all about).

5. Start Saying Yes.

At the risk of sounding like a Tony Robbins fanatic, (I do love the guy), start saying YES more often. Maybe you 'think' you don't want to go to that friend's party, meet up for breakfast, or get to know your in-laws, but instead of turning everything down, be more open. You never know what good can come out of saying yes.

6. Get Outside.

This seems obvious but too many people reject the great outdoors. It doesn't have to be anything scary like trekking through bear-laden trails by yourself. (Though, that can be fun). Just walk outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. Take a little walk through the trees, sit on a peer by the water. If you really like to adventure, play woods paintball, go ice climbing, mountain biking, or surf the highest waves you can find! Okay... back to weekday adventure.

7. Dare to Be Silly.

It's okay to stand up on the shopping cart and ride it to your car. No one will arrest you. Dress up for Halloween, sing karaoke, turn up the music and dance with friends. You don't have to be business all the time. You can actually have a little fun, you know.

8. Plan Your Next Adventure

While this doesn't sound too adventurous, you can actually feel amazing looking forward to an adventure.Take the time to think about what you really want to do besides lying on a beach drinking a margarita. If you want to have more adventure, you'll need to create the environment for it. Google, "adventures."

9. Read.

Again, kind of odd, but reading adventure books, stories, and blogs can give you an idea of what you want to do. If you're only going to work, cooking dinner, and then watching Law & Order before bed, you likely won't be inspired to think outside the box to get adventurous.

10. Do Something Alone.

How often do you find yourself doing whatever someone else wants to do? When you take a little time for yourself, you can veer off in whatever direction you like. There are no set plans, no rules, and no one to argue over what to do next. It's great if you have someone that loves to adventure with you but if not, don't let that keep YOU from adding adventure into your own daily life.

So, now that you've seen some simple ways to add a little adventure into your day, what will you do now? How will you wake up tomorrow morning full of enthusiasm and passion about what the day might hold?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Adventure:-10-Ways-to-Adventure-Daily&id=9318398

It Always Seems Impossible Until It's Done

The human spirit, since the beginning of time, was on a quest to conquer new frontiers, and overcome challenges that tried to hold it down. In this quest, we had many instances where somebody tried to convince us, that what we are pursuing is beyond us, and cannot be done.

A little passing of time, and someone else does exactly what we thought was beyond our capabilities, and we had to realize that it wasn't impossible after all.

History has, time and again, shown us that women and men of high repute in the past, with conviction and optimism, have conquered barriers that had remained impossible in the eyes of their peers.

As man thinks so he is. Our self-image has a lot to do with how we look at our challenges. From the onset it should be clear to us, that we are the stewards of this universe, that being so, we have immense inherent power to influence everything and anything, in any way to produce the results we want.

The advancements that humanity has made in travel, communication, medicine, entertainment, and other such fields, are sure markers and testimonies that nothing is impossible to them that believe. Whatever milestones we have reached as human beings, are not destinations. Destiny is not a destination, but an adventure.

In every endeavor that we are undertaking, it is important to remember that the challenges that are ahead of us, are just bumps in the road. When meeting these challenges, we might see impossibilities, but they are really an invitation for greater rewards.

They present awesome opportunities to learn and grow as a person, and steer us in the direction of a breathtaking journey, for the betterment of our life experience.

When someone else shows up in your life, to tell you that your goals and dreams are impossible to achieve, roll up your sleeves, and remember, nothing is impossible to them that believe!

Looking at a stream of water, what happens when it stops flowing? When water stops flowing, it stagnates. Once it stagnates, it becomes a habitat for various organisms. Mosquitoes find a breeding ground.

Frogs, insects, and other hideous life-matter settle in the area, finding a home. We can also consider the act of driving up a hill. What happens when you do not accelerate up the slope? The moment your vehicle loses the forward thrust, when you are driving it up a hill, it starts to slow, and in time will start moving backward.

Many of you rode on a bike at one point, or even ride it regularly. When you are on it, you must keep pedaling, covering some ground, moving forward, or you fall over to the side. In life, too, you must keep moving, if you stall, you may not fall over, but you will become stagnant.

http://ezinearticles.com/?It-Always-Seems-Impossible-Until-Its-Done&id=9323903

The Will To Live: Can Trapped Grief Stop Someone From Having The Will To Live?

If one had their eye on a new car and they were to take it for a drive, they are likely to find out that it drives well. Along with how it drives, it is also likely to be a comfortable experience.

So if they are currently driving a car that is on its way out, this experience is going to be radically different to what they are used to. This is not to say they won't feel comfortable inside the car, but that is going to be as far as it goes.

Worn Out

One way of looking at this would be to say that the car they have is worn out and the time has come for them to buy a new one. They are not in a position where they are looking to buy a new car for the sake of it; they are in a position where they need to buy a new car.

This could be the car that they have had for well over a decade or it might only be a matter of years, for instance. If they had only had it for a few years, it could be said that the car didn't last for very long; however, there could be more to it.

An Old Car

What this comes down to is that their car may have had a previous owner, and this means it would have had plenty of use before they ever bought it. In fact, there is also the chance that it has had a number of owners.

Either way, the car they have will have been used a lot and it will be time for the car to be recycled. Now, while it could be said that this is a normal part of having the car; what wouldn't be normal is if a car just stopped working and couldn't be fixed no matter what was done to it.

A Mystery

The car could be taken to a garage and they could conduct a diagnosis, and after doing this, they may believe that they have located the problem. But once they have fixed it, the car might still not work.

This process could go on for a while and this may then cause one to take the car somewhere else. And once again, the same process could go on again and it might not be long until they start to wonder what is going on.

A Closer Look

So even though the car looks fine from the outside as well as from the inside, it still won't work. If this was a human being as opposed to a car, it could be said that it has lost the will to live.

It has the ability to be driven by people, but it no longer has the desire to be driven by anyone. If the car was in position where it had come to the end of its life, it could be said that it would be normal for the car to longer have the will to live.

Human Beings

This is then similar to how a human being can get towards the end of their life and feel as though they are ready to move on, or they can lose the will to live while they still have a life to lead. From the outside, they can look as though everything is fine, but if someone was to look within them, they would soon see that this is not the case.

They may find that they don't want to be here any longer, or they could find that while part of them does want to be here, a bigger part of them doesn't. This is likely to show that they believe their life doesn't have any meaning.

Pain

Also, this may also mean that they are in a lot of pain, and while this pain may relate to how they feel and what is going through their mind, it could also relate to what is physically taking place for them. And as a result of what is taking place, it is unlikely to matter whether the sun is shining or if it is raining; their outlook is unlikely to change.

While this could also be a sign that they are generally isolated from others people, this might not be the case. There could be a number of people in their life who are there for them.

Day To Day Life

They could be in a position where they pretend that everything is fine, and this may mean that the majority of people they meet don't even realise what is going on for them. If they have a job where they work with others, they could also view them as someone who simply gets on with their job.

If one is able to look into how long they have experienced life in this way, they may find out that this happened after someone passed on or when a relationship came to an end. At the same time, they may see that this is how they have felt for most of their life.

Loss

When one experiences a loss, it might be possible for them to carry on with their life or they may find that they are unable to carry on. What this comes down to is that not every loss that one experiences is going to have a big effect on them.

But if one has lost a loved one, for instance, it could be said that it is going to be normal for them to lose the will to live. If one has felt his way for most of their life, it could be a sign that they experienced a loss during their younger years, and while this could mean that someone passed on; it may mean that they were abused and/or neglected.

Grief

The grief they experienced through not getting their developmental needs met is then trapped within them, and until this grief is processed, it is going to be a challenge for them to experience life differently. But if the grief relates to what has taken place in their adult years, it will also be important for them to face the pain that is within them.

Awareness

This is something that is unlikely to happen overnight and it will be important for one to reach out for support. While this can be provided by friends and family, it can also be supplied by a therapist and/or a support group.

During this time, it will be important for one to cry out the pain that is within them, among other things. Through engaging in this process, it may gradually be possible for one to find meaning and the will to live.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Will-To-Live:-Can-Trapped-Grief-Stop-Someone-From-Having-The-Will-To-Live?&id=9295617

Nothing Happens in a Dream

We've all been there... stressing out over "What am I gonna do next in this impossible situation... why am I in the high school play, but completely buck naked?" Then we wake ourselves up with our tortuous tossing and turning and find out to our immense relief, "It was only a dream!" How many novels and movies have snapped us out of our drama angst by ending with the equally surprising and somewhat embarrassing end of the protagonist simply waking up and leaving the story behind? We feel a little foolish, because we fell for the story, let it take us on a somewhat insane ride through the dregs of the emotional landscape just to have to admit we were duped. "That's the last time I eat pizza at midnight" we promise ourselves, and try to forget all the energy we gave away to a fantasy.

Here's a thought experiment. What if, just like in the movie 'Inception', when we wake up from the sleeping dream we are, in fact just waking up into another 'dream layer', equally unreal, but equally convincing. How would we know we are dreaming, especially if we assume we must be awake? In the movie, the 'dream architects' were able to somewhat construct the nature of dreams within dreams, but the main 'takeaway' for me was the idea of multiple layers of dreams themselves.

A dream is a state of mind where your attention is fixed on a series of events which you seem to have little or no control over. No matter how bizarre or weird the contents of the dream appear, because our attention is glued to the experience, we rarely, if ever' stop to consider whether the experience itself is real. We run on assumptions, especially the one that tells us our senses are telling the truth.

According to my understanding of the non-dual dynamics of Creation, the Universe of separation is an ontological impossibility. We call it the 'expanding Universe' but it is in truth the 'escaping Universe' with each and every seeming separate aspect compelled to seek its own space where it can remain in the illusion that it even exists independent of everything else. Therefore, the best analogy for our experience of ourselves as a separate unique and distinct 'individual' is that of a dream. Notice how the term 'individual' tells a deeper story? Buried within this word is the reminder were 'indivisible' with reality, which is One with itself in all aspects. Yet we also see the word 'dual' which implies we have taken this indivisible self and, through the desire to experience 'something more than everything', have created an artificial state of duality. This explains the 'split mind' concept; how part of our mind does and must reside within the perfect Oneness of Creation, yet another part thinks it's somewhere else... in a Universe of seemingly separate forms. Ever wonder why the human brain is split into two sections? Psychoanalysis reminds us that everything in a dream is symbol of yourself.

So, tomorrow morning I suggest, if you are interested, upon awakening, remind yourself "I must be dreaming... and no matter how bizarre and weird my day is, I will remind myself I must be safe at home, while merely dreaming I am separate." The analogy of the experience this intention can offer is that of lucid dreaming. These are the dreams where it suddenly dawns on you that the weirdness of your dream doesn't in fact change you at all, and therefore, this experience can't be real and you MUST be dreaming. Once we understand that, the dream takes on a whole new tone while it lasts. You realize "Nothing really happens in a dream, so bring it on! I'm not really here at all, and my destiny is to wake up, laugh at the notion I could be anything other than what I truly am as part of yet one with a undefinable essence of Spirit, and get on with my life."

http://ezinearticles.com/?Nothing-Happens-in-a-Dream&id=9337512

How to Defeat the Predators Who Are Out to Get You!

Are you a sheep, sheepdog or wolf?

The Aiki and Zen explanation of the comparison between sheep, sheepdogs, wolves and people.

I once heard something about life that I thought was really profound.

The theme of the story was that people behave like either sheep, sheepdogs or wolves.

If you look deeper into this analogy we begin to see that it is far more complex than it would first appear.

Let's consider the sheep and the flock.

As people, we begin as lambs and then, because of a whole set of complex conditions we see how people develop into either sheep, sheepdogs or wolves.

The larger part of the population, the sheep, are honest and decent.

The predators, the wolves in society, are not.

Because they are very vigilant they can spot their prey in lots of different ways, someone´s body posture, mental confusion or weak spirit etc.

However, it isn't always the vulnerable that get targeted. The wolf will spot any gain that is worth them having, irrespective of the situation.

A wolf`s victim will be a lamb, sheep, sheepdog or another wolf.

Predators are opportunistic, not always easy to spot and come in many guises. There is no age, sex, or background etc. that precludes the wolf.

Just think of the times you have felt intimidated or manipulated into a situation where you felt uncomfortable.

Were you experiencing a wolf, or a wolf in sheep's clothing, or a sheep that is about to become a wolf?

How often have you intuitively felt uncomfortable because someone is trying desperately to get you to do something, buy something or endorse something that to you doesn't feel right?

Have you ever been somewhere and felt physically vulnerable?

The wolves will put their requirements above all else without mercy and in a human vein defend their exploitation of others or gloat on the fact that they have won.

Often in organisations where there is a predatory atmosphere, sheep will develop that predatory instinct and vindicate their actions with:

"I'm only doing my job... "

In an organisation, a department, a family or a country, the characteristics of the figurehead will manifest itself throughout.

Wolves above all else, have no empathy for their victims.

The sheepdogs have empathy.

Sometimes a decision made by a sheepdog to protect the sheep from potential danger is interpreted by the sheep as dominance.

Sheepdogs are as vigilant as wolves, and can often see potential danger.

Sheepdogs and wolves tend to have similar skills and abilities with one big difference, their spirit!

In Aiki, spirit relates to intent.

The interesting question is - are we destined to become a sheep, a sheep dog or a wolf?

Sheep often sacrifice their freedom to become secure, by being secured in a safe environment.

Zen tells us that it is not acceptable to act like a wolf, and that it is our duty act honourably as a sheep or a sheepdog and thus live a good life within the flock.

Aiki tells us to prepare for any eventuality by training the body, mind and spirit and be always aware and stop problems before they start.

Aiki and Zen teach us how we become competent sheepdogs, not just on a physical level but also on a mental and spiritual level...

Just look at today's world, there are so many atrocious things happening. Some are small things some are major.

However, bad things are bad things, at a small level, in your own community or an international level.

Aiki and Zen are as important now as they were a thousand years ago.

Zen teaches us how to become honourable and respectful sheep and sheepdogs.

Aiki teaches us how honourable and effective sheepdogs keep calm, focused and with good intent.

By incorporating the Zen moral code of clear understanding, empathy and courage we gain the ability to deal with the wolves of the world in a practical way,

The Aiki martial arts adopt the following process for countering a physical attack.

move off the line of attack

take the attacker's posture

apply a technique

apply an immobilization

apply a submission (if needed)

apply a break and disable (if needed)

You will appreciate that the process is undertaken to control any aggression the wrongdoer may have, and only damage them as a last resort.

Aiki also tells us that to control volatility we must have three essential postures.

Mental

Physical

Spiritual

The three attributes of Zen merged with the three Aiki postures.

The three Zen attributes are:

Humanity - understanding that some people who are predatory by nature, have the potential to become better people.

Clarity - to truly see the role that each person has played within the situation.

Courage - to master the fear which most people feel when confronted by hostility and stay calm enough to take the bad situation through to a better end.

Importantly, the Zen and Aiki concepts are not based purely on a physical response.

Aggressive and explosive situations manifest themselves in many forms and the principles of Zen combined with Aiki are wonderful strategies of reconciliation.

Both concepts enable us to recognise, the lone wolf, the wolf pack and even the wolf dressed in sheep's clothing and then either stop the encroachment before it starts or deal with it as it begins.

Unfortunately, it is not always easy to spot the wolves till after they have acted, as not all wolves behave initially as a wolf and not all sheep wish for protection.

Wolves are of either sex, of any age or from any profession or class.

In each of our communities we must do all we can to stop the wolves out numbering the sheep and the sheepdogs.

Zen gives us the guide lines to make sure we fulfill our moral duty as a worthy member of the flock.

Aiki gives us the self-assurance to carry out our duty to protect the flock and its members, appreciating that a controlled, competent being gives out a signal that is often enough to deter a predator.

Finally:

There are many types of predator, all looking for a target.

Don't believe everything, question to understand more, discover your own wisdom to recognise predatory behaviour.

Sheepdogs possess the three attributes of Zen. Humanity, Clarity and Courage.

Wolves possess only courage.

Sheepdogs possess the three postures of Aiki - Mental, Physical and Spiritual.

Wolves possess all three but their spirit and intent lacks empathy.

Who are the sheep, sheepdogs and wolves you know?

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Defeat-the-Predators-Who-Are-Out-to-Get-You!&id=9306276