For both men and women there are 6 core needs, however the dominant features of these can vary between the genders.
1) Certainty, the need to live without fear and in a safe environment is important, safety is more important in women whereas security is more valued in men.
2) Uncertainty is also important which can equate to variety and challenge. The absence of this can lead to procrastination or self sabotage. An imbalance between comfort (certainty) can lead to counteractive behaviours. For example people with too much variety may seek comfort by spending hours doing housework which makes them feel calmer. Those seeking variety may express that by suddenly doing something irrational and against their value system which leads to them feeling bad afterwards. What they really crave is significance! This can manifest itself by behaviours such as having an affair which is totally out of character and results in immense pain for the person and the family members.
3) Belonging - this means a sense of love and connection to others either friends or family or even pets.
4) Significance - every human craves significance and will gravitate to situations that make them feel significant. If significance is lacking then the result may be as drastic as suicide or depression. Many people can have significance through one aspect of their life such as through work colleagues, however, be let down by a close family member such as on a significant life event. This can be a forgotten anniversary or birthday.
For others, attempting to connect with significance can be on an unconscious level coming from lack of self-esteem. These are people that put people down, come across as arrogant and generally come across as people you would not choose to be around.
These first 4 core needs represent the needs of a person whereas the last 2 represent the needs of the spirit.
5) Contribution - everyone needs to make a contribution to life to feel a sense of satisfaction. Whether you are a school teacher who relishes seeing the accomplishments of their students or a tradesperson who takes pride in seeing the consequences of a project they have completed.
6) Growth - learning allows us to see things through a new perspective that we never knew existed. For example, learning biological science means that you can never look at a tree the same way! Instead of seeing branches and leaves you are aware of the different layers of cells within each leaf and the metabolic processes that make it survive and grow. If you study sociology you understand the underlying causes of family and social dysfunction that exists within the traditional nuclear family.
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