I've been wanting to write this for awhile, finally came around to it. The information I've gathered thus far is through having such a wide array of friends and mentors in numerous different aspects of life.
From the Long Beach gang members who changed their life around to the millionaires who had absolutely nothing and overcame tremendous obstacles to get where they are.
Also, the individuals who are going for it and who aren't quite there yet and the drug addicts who somehow made it out of a life of despair and depression. Take these signs as more of an opinion than fact.
This article isn't about the successful, the wonderful, nor the wealthy. These are the 5 signs I've noticed that make up an emotionally intelligent individual.
Here are the 5 signs that show you are an emotionally intelligent individual.
1. You know your strengths and weaknesses.
Emotionally intelligent people know what they soar at and what they're not so good at.
Let's take this a step further, they usually work on the strengths rather than weaknesses based on the fact that they get more done not worrying what they're weak at.
They focus on what they can do and don't work too much on things that they're not naturally keen on undertaking.
2. You understand others.
This is important because you're emotionally sensitive to what someone is feeling. I was at a bar the other night and I met a girl by the name of Sasha, I was having a beer with my friend and for some reason, she sat down near our table and overheard our conversation. I told her to come pull up a chair and we chatted about different things.
I asked her "what's your favorite color?" she replied "blue." I said "interesting." There's a point I'm making, you can tell a lot about someone's favorite color. Let me give you an example, if you say your favorite color is red it most likely means you have a sharkish attitude.
A go-getter who takes nothing from no one. If your favorite color is black it's most likely you've had a dark past. I could go on and on all day actually but she said blue. Let's start with what blue actually, stands for. It stands for a socialite, the life of the party, a good friend who's doesn't do too well all by him/herself. You see what's crazy she majors in linguistics.
What is linguistics? It's language, it's communication which directly correlates to what her favorite color is because in order to understand others you need to communicate well which she did. Anyhow, I digress, she was very easy on the eyes so she was welcomed to have a nice chat with me.
I told her "No way, linguistics? language? that's beautiful, I'm actually a creative writer and I run a blog online."
She wanted to see what my blog was all about so I showed it to her and she said "OMG I need to read your stuff, I hand her my phone she for some reason adds her phone number in it without me asking for it and reads it.
She said afterward "I love your style of writing and I feel what you're saying is so true!." I said, "who are you reading this for?"
She said, "Well I'm kind of dating a couple guys and I don't know who to pick." I replied "BS who are you reading this for to find out about?" she said, "Okay you caught me there's this guy I can't figure out... "
You see you have to read between the lines of what people say. An emotionally intelligent person will catch on pay attention to what you're not saying more than what's coming out of your mouth.
3. You give and don't expect anything in return.
Emotionally intelligent people give and don't expect anything in return based on the fact if you're intelligent you know this person won't pay you back. Just kidding.
But seriously, you give not for the sake of pleasing other it's almost a narcissistic quality because you're doing it to feel good. It feels good to give, because if you're a believer in karma then you know you'll receive tenfold when you give.
I donate on a monthly basis to St. Jude hospital, to be brutally honest with you, yes I do love helping the children that it helps and I also want to add it's because I always get something more for what I put out. So it's always good to give!
4. You won't allow anyone to ruin your day.
This is big because sometimes you're just going through it and someone says something or does something that could potentially ruin your entire day. Not let me make this crystal clear folks, it's okay to feel bad, but only for a few minutes.
It cannot be something that takes on your whole day. In my personal experience, the most valued trait in the industry of sales is to take the hits and keep rolling. If you're going to get your ass whooped, you might as well get it over with quick right?
This is powerful because you control your state of mind and your state of mind determines your quality of life. This is a strong trait I've seen in emotionally intelligent people as well so keep this in mind if you want to build your emotional intelligence.
5. You're not afraid to make mistakes and let go of negativity.
I've crashed and burned my harder and faster than many people out there. Many can vouch for that and I made it out, not completely unscathed but I'm doing better than most and not as good as some. You can't be afraid man, you just got to go for it and hope for the best.
Highly emotionally intelligent individuals aren't afraid to make mistakes because that's part of life. You also have to let go of the negativity, the bad stuff that happens in life.
Jim Rohn says "It's not the wind that determines where you're going it's the set of the sail." Bad people, bad relationships, jobs that aren't doing you any good, sometimes you have to let it go.
I was stuck at a whack call center job in Los Angeles awhile back and I felt as if I was a professional race care driver in a 1988 Toyota Corolla. By no means am I saying Toyotas are bad but the car is 30 years old and no matter how good of a driver I am the vehicle cannot let me drive to my fullest potential.
Lesson learned, I made a mistake and put myself in a vehicle I wasn't going to reach $10K+ months in income and I let go of it and found a vehicle I could make what I wanted.
Highly emotionally intelligent people realize mistakes have to be made, that's why most people who are billionaires are usually 50+ in age because they've made so many mistakes but let go of the negativity and came out on top.