Learning the Best Way to Control Anger

The best way to control anger depends on your personality and your overall emotional health. There is no single approach that works for every person. Your anger is just as unique as you are.

What makes one person angry might not bother another person at all.

Therefore, the tools and techniques that are best for you might not work for another person at all.

In order to understand the best way to control your anger, you have to understand yourself, what makes you angry and how you are usually prone to react when you do get mad.

Some people get quiet and hold it all inside. Others explode in rage that can sometimes end violently. Figure out what will work for you, and then start practicing the things that will help you manage and control your anger in healthy and productive ways.

Start with a self assessment. Figure out what makes you angry. This is probably an easy exercise.

Perhaps you have road rage and you get really mad any time someone cuts you off on the freeway, you lose a parking spot or you get stuck in traffic when you have a specific place to be or an important appointment that you cannot be late for.

Perhaps it is other people that make you mad. You might find you get angry when you feel rejected by your spouse or another family member. Maybe you get angry really quickly at work, particularly when you do not feel supported by your boss or your co-workers.

You might find you get angry at situations instead of people. When you feel like you have lost control over something, or you are helpless, feelings of anger might intensify and threaten your own self-control.

Whatever your triggers might be, recognizing them will help you establish the best way to control your anger. You will be able to see the anger coming, and prepare yourself for it.

In addition to identifying the things that make you angry, get to know how you feel when anger approaches. You might feel tense, hot, short of breath. Your pulse might begin racing, you might get a headache, and maybe you will feel your blood pressure rise.

You might cry or feel depressed or anxious in addition to angry. When you can recognize the symptoms of anger in your own body, you are one step closer to controlling it.

Try talking your way through your feelings. This is one best way to control anger if you are emotionally healthy and able to work through feelings of anger. If you are mad at a person, the best way to deal with it is to talk to that person.

This will only work if you are calm and you know you won't escalate the problem by getting even angrier. If you are unable to talk to the source of your anger, try talking to a trusted friend or a close confidante.

People also find it helpful to talk to a therapist or a counselor. Explaining your reasons for feeling angry will help you see how to handle the anger. You will also get a lot of good tips and tools from an expert on anger if you see a professional.

Redirecting your anger is another good response. This is the best way to control anger if you recognize the feelings you are having and can safely pour them into some other endeavor.

If you are a creative person, writing or painting or creating music or art might help you control your anger. You can take all of the energy and feelings that would otherwise be expressed as anger and use them to create something.

Even if you aren't creative, you can redirect your anger into exercise, home improvement projects or other things that will require a large amount of time, attention and emotional investment.

Avoidance can help you control your anger as well. If you know there is a particular person who manages to set you off every time you see him, avoid him whenever you can. This will cut down on the opportunity for anger to grip you.

By identifying what makes you angry, you can take the necessary steps to avoid the people, situations and events that lead you down that road.

Not everything can be controlled, of course, but you can give yourself a head start and avoid potential anger triggers anytime it's possible.

The best way to control anger depends on what makes you angry and how you respond to it. If you find you are simply unable to manage your anger in healthy ways, it's essential you get professional help.

Talk to a therapist or look for a referral to a support group. Losing control of yourself to anger will cause personal, professional and emotional problems for you in the long term.

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