The ideal way to manage a bad habit is to become aware of the triggers, whether it is stress or anger and take pre-emptive actions before one has a complete meltdown or one engages in a course of action that has far reaching consequences.
Anger never just springs upon us, it is preceded by irritation and if one is aware of the indicators, which may differ from person to person, the immediate first-aid approach would include walking away from the distressing situation, counting to ten and even drinking a glass of water to calm one's emotions. For some, saying a quick affirmation helps.
But what if one did not have to rely on first-aid measures? What if one could build one's resilience and ability to remain calm in an anger provoking situation?
There are many ways that one can raise one's threshold to anger. Here are 3 unique ways which can be practiced any time and any place to strengthen our inner selves. They focus on calming the mind and nervous system.
Bee Breath
Music has a calming effect on the mind. Listening to soft music, devotional songs, hearing chants and even listening to the sound of your chanting helps to calm the mind.
Raise your resilience to anger by practising this short exercise on a regular basis called the Bhramari Pranayama (Bee Breath). Derived from the name of the black Indian bee called Bhramari, the sound made during exhalation sounds like a bee hum. Pranayama means breathing technique.
This exercise should be done on an empty stomach.
Sit up straight and keep your eyes closed. Place your index fingers on the cartilage of your ears. The cartilage is located between your cheek and ear.
Inhale deeply through both nostrils and then, with the lips closed, gently press the cartilage exhaling slowly through the nose making the sound of a bee humming.
Repeat this process about 5-10 times. You can practice this pranayama 3-4 times a day.
Ensure that you are not putting your finger inside the ear, but on the cartilage. Also, the cartilage is to be pressed gently and released with the finger.
Moon Breath
We all know about taking a deep breath to calm down. Here is another technique where we can use the act of breathing to cool down our body and calm our mind called the Chandra Nadi Pranayama or Moon Breath.
According to the Chakra theories, the left nostril is connected to the Ida Nadi which provides the cooling effect to the body. This exercise is great not only to cool down when we feel anger coming on, but is a great technique to build our resilience to anger. Other benefits include improving sleep and reducing anxiety.
Sit on a chair with both feet on the ground. Keep your back straight and belly completely relaxed. Start by taking a few deep breaths. Close your right nostril with your right hand index finger. Inhale deeply and slowly and exhale deeply through your left nostril. Do this exercise for 1-3 minutes.
You can also try this about 30 minutes before you retire at night to get a good night's sleep.
Candle Gazing Meditation
This meditation, called Trataka is quite easy and better suited for those of us who find it hard to concentrate on a mantra or image as one can hold onto an after image of a bright flame with closed eyes. It aids us in increasing our resilience to stress & anger as well as increases the power of the mind and eyes.
Place the candle at eye level at a distance of one meter in a dark and draught free room. Sit in a meditative posture with crossed legs with an erect spine. Keeping the eyes wide open and without blinking, gaze at the candle flame until the eyes become watery or tired.
When the eyes are tired, gently close them keeping your inner gaze steady, visualize the object and meditate on it. Once the image vanishes, open the eyes and repeat the candle gazing.
Please note that it is important that the eyes should be relaxed and no force should be applied otherwise a headache is possible. With practice, you will learn to ignore the irritation and watering of the eyes and the gaze will become steady making the mind single pointed..
It is advisable to start this process slowly with say, 10 to 15 seconds at a stretch and with 3 repetitions at a sitting. As time progresses, the duration can be gradually increased by 10 seconds per week.
One method of deepening this form of meditation is to visualize that you are breathing in and out the candle light. Feel a sense of purity and clarity infusing your mind and body and eliminating the stress that you have holed up inside yourself. Remaining still and focussing only on the candle flame stills your mind and with single pointed concentration you enter deep relaxing meditation.
At the completion of the candle meditation, close your eyes and lie down for a few minutes to allow yourself to return to normal.
There will always be times in one's life, whether in the workplace or in our personal lives where we may not have much control over a situation. However, we always have control over how we choose to react and respond to a situation. Controlling our anger and staying calm helps to mitigate potential damage to relationships and prevents us from taking hasty actions with consequent long term repercussions. The first step to managing our irritation and reactions starts with building our anger threshold and these 3 techniques help in achieving our goal - anger management.
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