A Temporal Bliss of Attraction Is Not Love

We come across people who are physically, emotionally or intellectually attractive. Their immense self-confidence sometimes degrades us. But then again we keep on chasing them for no special reason. We try to copy their style so that we will get some kind of appreciation from them. Their attitude may kill you at times but still they have something that you don't. There is a twinkle behind their eyes that speaks to us. It seems like they know some secrets that we don't. They have this groundedness and stability. They are at ease in ways we wish were. You don't find them good enough to spend your life with them, but at the same time you find no special reason not to spend your time with them. I don't know whether they really know some secrets or they are good at lying about it. But the way they move through time and space is impeccable. The way they cover their imperfection is beyond our imagination.

We try to find faults in them only for our inner satisfaction. We tell ourselves that they are not someone they pretend to be. We try to chase people connected to those special ones. They may not be sexually attractive and it may be just an amicability, you may be just wanted to be their friends. At times when you are alert, aware and awake to some deeper truth of life, you taste the sliver of that self-confidence. You feel like you have reached their level of perfection. But that self-confidence is not stable, you still collapse back into your doubts and critical inner uncertainty.

On the other hand, when you get tired of thinking about them, you pray to get rid of these thoughts. You beg God to detach you from the scenarios that are never going to happen. But again, even when you manage to go out of their sight, they are never out of your mind. You push yourself again and again to that corner for your satisfaction. You always find them well enough in your imaginations. You do good things just to stay in their good books. Then at some point, their presence in your thoughts becomes a necessary part. You whole thinking process revolves around their personality aspects.

But then the time comes, when you come to know that these thoughts are just fraudulent ideas resulting in soul sickness and self-demoralization. Then you manage to reframe your thinking process and try to get rid of this shit. But when these scars leave you, they take some part of you with them. But again, these temporary attractions are part of human nature.

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