Are You Justifying Your Safety and Money Worries or Getting Free From Them?

These days on our planet, two primary worries run rampant-safety and money. You wonder if you can move about safely and get the resources you need and want.

Because of world events in the recent past, you might feel justified in feeling afraid for your safety, security, and well-being. News and politicians tell stories of who is to blame and who can be trusted-and you side with the stories you believe.

Yet what if these stories simply justify your worries rather than offering relief? Politics generally operates as a fear/guilt/blame game-which is an endless circle leading nowhere. You only see facts that support your current viewpoint and vehemently oppose those who see things otherwise. Nothing changes.

What we need is insight into what lies underneath our worries and how to heal them. Applying mindful attention to my own insecurities, I've discovered four helpful insights that create positive change.

1. Acknowledge the part you play in what is happening by the stories you tell

How are you participating in perpetuating the way things are? Do you have worries about safety and money? Because of these worries, how are you assigning guilt and blame? What stories are you participating in?

The stories you participate in hold you captive. They can keep you stuck in fear. To get free, you need to identify the stories that buy into fear as a basic orientation.

For example, do you buy the story that the world is filled with people who want to harm you? Do you buy the story that the economy is rigged for those who have against those who have not?

If you follow the news, it would be easy to buy into those stories. As a society, we are fascinated with trauma and drama-and somehow entertained by it-so, that's what the news provides. However, if you pay attention to your daily interactions, do these stories reflect the majority of your experiences with others?

If those worries were justified, most of the activities you take for granted would not be possible, such as driving safely to work, standing in an orderly line for checkout, and enjoying a night out for dinner or entertainment.

I'm not downplaying the fact that many people suffer horrendous acts of violence. This certainly happens. There are things we can do to work for peace, safety, and opportunity for all. But, supporting a mindset based on fear, guilt, and blame is not one of them.

There are close to seven billion people on the planet. How many are intentionally harming others? Conversely, how many are doing the best they can to live a good life and make a positive contribution?

What does your direct personal experience tell you about the majority of your interactions? Are the stories you habitually tell about the way things are justified when you look at a wider range of facts?

2. Insert a mindful pause and stop feeding fear

You perpetuate your worries by justifying them. When things don't go the way you want them to, out of all the facts available, you will likely choose those that support the stories of fear, guilt, and blame you are in the habit of telling.

What if you choose not to do this? After all, if you keep telling yourself the same stories using the same limited set of worn-out facts, you'll keep reliving the same experiences. What might happen if you pause more frequently before you enter the fear/guilt/blame game and decide not to dive in with your usual opinions?

3. Feel the emotional pain under fear and forgive

When you choose to mindfully pause instead of jumping into fear/guilt/blame, you open space to feel what is underneath your insecurities. Underneath fear is emotional pain.

All of us have a history of hurt we would like to forget. All of us have had moments that made us feel threatened or poor. When in the past have you felt unsafe? When have you not had what you needed and worried about how and if you would get it?

Perhaps your parents or grandparents lived through wars or the Great Depression and passed on stories of danger and poverty?

Perhaps you pick up on the stories you've heard on the news... And, you don't want to be one of those victims you've seen on the news!

When you face emotional pain, are present with it, non-judgmentally-and just feel it-something happens. You realize you can handle it-especially if you stop telling a big story about it. When you stay present with emotional pain, it shifts. It begins to dissipate, resolve, and heal. You gain insight into effective action to move forward.

One of the most effective actions to move forward is forgiveness.

Forgiveness frees you. It frees you from hanging onto the past and letting it determine your present and future. It frees you from repeating the same old stories of fear, guilt, and blame over and over again. It frees you to live in a fresh new moment. It frees you to see life in a whole new light, so you can make new choices.

Who, including yourself, is involved in your stories of pain, fear, guilt, and blame? Is it possible you and they were just doing the best that you could, given what you all knew at the time and what you'd all been through? That's not saying that what happened was O.K., good, right, or that you condone it. Just the opposite. Yet, what if hanging onto that pain perpetuates it?

Are you ready and willing to forgive yourself and others involved in your pain, so you can move forward?

You may or may not be ready to do that now.

When you are ready-and choose to forgive-you open space for different possibilities to emerge.

4. Have compassion for yourself and others

Once you identify stories of fear/guilt/blame, decide not to participate, feel the emotional pain underneath fear, and forgive yourself and others, you may be ready to do something new.

It can begin with simple appreciation for yourself and others in all your diversity of strengths and weaknesses. Once you've mindfully experienced the emotional pain underneath your fears, you are more sensitive to the pains others feel. Being in touch with the pain underneath fear, you naturally feel compassion, rather than fear, guilt, and blame.

You feel a natural desire to appreciate others for who they are and what they've been through. Instead of going through the day looking for reasons to worry, you look for opportunities to love. Love is courageous action. It dares to stare down fear and replace it with compassion.

The more we act from love and compassion instead of fear, guilt, and blame, the more our planet becomes a safe and abundant place to be.

Enjoy your practice!

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