A fulfilled life is a result of successive complete and fulfilled days. If you are going to have a fruitful day, it is important that you have the day properly outlined and planned out. Of the many things you need in the right place are expectations: expectations for a positive fruition for plans and objectives. These are expectations we impose on ourselves and are sometimes imposed on us by other people.
Expectations have had a great bearing on how much I have accomplished, they have been the core of my belief and trust that things will happen as desired. Because I have been able to live each day successfully and have accomplished each day according to expectation, life has been a bundle of joy.
However, it has been of utmost importance to define and distinguish between realistic and unrealistic expectations. These can also be termed as true and false expectations. It is worth mentioning that, although truthful expectations help yield positive results, false expectations are a constraint to fulfillment of any endeavor.
While brooding over positive expectations is fundamental, it is of equal importance that false expectations are gotten rid of if achievement is going to be attained. My experience and research has identified an inexhaustible number of false expectations, this helped me get rid of all such hopes. Here now are some common false expectations and why it was important that I get rid of them.
The expectation that everyone should like me.
The expectation that the world must be fair.
The expectation that all my days are supposed to be sunny, that is, a storm will never come.
The expectation of never being anxious or depressed.
The expectation of always being in the driving seat- always in control and always knowing what is going to happen next.
The expectation that people will be perfect.
False expectations made me take up a level of control that I really did not have in given circumstances. This led to considerable failures and disappointments along the way. This denied me the chance to learn from others because, in my mind, I was on top of things and yet was not. I did not let those who knew better control things. Nonetheless, those days are gone and I know better now. I now know only to control the things I can and to let other players act their roles.
Disappointments literally make the heart sick. False expectations when fully mature breed disappointments which in turn sicken the heart. Such emotions are never good for anything, worse still for success and fruition of goals. There is a predisposition in man to repeatedly feel disappointed when their hopes are not met.
False hopes are heavy loads to shoulder. It does not really matter if they are really personal or about others, they are simply heavy to carry. You may want to tone down those expectations because they place unrealistic demands on ourselves, colleagues, etc. A tendency to act as if others "should" just live and give in to our expectations is a common feature of false hopes. They "Should" just know what my desires are is bad for business.
Further, false expectations cause the hopeful individual to have some preconceived blueprint of how things should be without really considering others. People develop an "if- then" syndrome which dictates how things should be done. This is actually a very common erroneous assumption.
To hold on to false expectations is to obstruct the knack to pursue what matters most in life. For example, those who expect NEVER to make a mistake won't actually take any form of a risk in life. And since they will not take risks, it is impossible to step out and pursue the things they care for.
Unfortunately, some expectations are not feasible. They are simply not practical. Often, they might appear like reasonable and viable expectations but are in fact not. From a distance, they may even give the impression of being fair, realistic and reasonable but in reality, such prospects cannot truly be met. Worse still, such expectations only create additional problems, far worse than they solve. For instance, the expectation that young children should always be tip-top in terms of their behavior is far-fetched. A colleague of mine shared his experience, "I had set all the appropriate limits and rules, and for some time they were all fairly-behaved children. But in my efforts and quest to further enforce this expectation, I experienced disappointments, and only roused conflict with the kids besides other problems.
False expectations are always grounds for loss because they set you and other people up for disappointment. Reality is that, there is no life without expectations, however, I choose to hold on to realistic and measurable expectations.
What is true is that I cannot please everyone nor can I make everyone like me. It can't just happen, I will be naïve in trying to make it happen.
To even start wishing I could control all the aspects of my world in order to ensure things function consistently in the most harmonious way is like fighting the wind. The world cannot be all fair and I can only control so much. The rest is about accepting and moving on.
Well, false expectations almost made a stiff naked person out of me, I was becoming rigid to the opinions and inputs of others. I could leave no room for change for situations or let other have a go at matters.
All in all, to get rid of false expectations, it is imperative to arrest all unrealistic hopes, thoughtfully and with seriousness. It will be key to reflect on the potential effect of the expectation and practice consideration for others as they are built. Being flexible and allowing for external impact is the way to go for getting rid of false expectations.
False expectations are a menace and are unhealthy, they should be gotten rid of no matter how hard it may be. It is possible to create a whole set of beliefs, motivations, etc. that will assist you and others.
Until next time,
Your friend,
Felipe
Learn why getting rid of false expectations is fundamental if achievement is going to be attained.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-You-Must-Get-Rid-Of-False-Expectations&id=9567364
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