Recently, I posted a picture of myself from the past. One person sent me a message saying if she has to keep looking at me showing off, she'll 'un-friend' me. It stung.I pulled the pic immediately. No one understands downplaying success or talent more than me. I'm really good at it.
I have been 'playing small' for years. I have been practicing it for as long as I can remember-not shining too bright, not taking up space, not being too big, not being full of myself, staying humble, little, knowing my place and making sure people don't feel slighted due to my achievements.
Today, I'm dropping those concepts. It is fine to celebrate oneself at least as much as feeling proud about others. When I first entered the arena of social media, I rarely posted selfies or talked about my life. I didn't want to risk people thinking I was self-absorbed.
Finally. FINALLY. I get it. We can only love or admire others to the extent we are able to risk being proud of ourselves. It was a slow transition-one that brought out some of my best writing and true self. It takes a lot of 'likes' or lack thereof to understand that it doesn't matter what people think. It really doesn't.
Self love involves bravery. Posting selfies is hard at first and then it gets easier:this is me, this is my world. If another believes I am too full of myself, it's not really my problem. May we all be too full of ourselves sometimes because being invisible isn't good for the sense of self either.
Good things happen to all of us. The inner voice that says don't post your world, don't shine too bright needs to be silenced every so often. Being humble is both a blessing and a curse.
Once upon a time, I was a beauty queen for a year. Irving, Texas was on the banner across my chest when I went to San Antonio to compete for the Miss Texas crown in the mid-eighties. I hid it for years thinking that pageant contestants were sometimes discounted and cast aside as arm candy.
Since I have crossed the half century mark and time has become more meaningful, I choose to celebrate all the wild and wonderful happenings of this life. As more unfold and I possibly get a book deal, I hope I keep the attitude that we are all worthy of the spotlight every now and then.
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