"To define life (and particularly your life) as existing within any pre-defined framework is to reject the experience of life." Brett Gallaher, Author of 'Broken Scythe'
I have lived a life of "shoulds." I have followed the rules. I have not broken any laws and I have done what I was told. My goal, it seems, was to be a good girl.
Or, at least what I defined as a good girl.
For years, I thought all I needed to do was follow the lead of someone who had honed the perfect set of good girl skills -- do what they did -- and, I too, would be the perfect good girl. I would be liked, fit in, and rise to the top of the good girl pile.
Did I bother to ask myself (or as a friend recently called it, "meself") if their way, was my way? What did they have that I did not? Were they even like me at all?
Did I even have a clear definition of what a good girl was anyway?
Heck no! I didn't bother to ask, "Hey, meself, what do you think? Is this the direction I am meant to go? Is this the me that I am meant to be?"
The rules were made for a reason, I would think, why stir the pot and make trouble?
It seems, at a young age, I decided it was much easier to go along. I learned to shut up, say nothing, and do what I was told. And this belief, carried through into many aspects of my life.
I even created a profession, a business, of "shoulds." What other profession could possibly have as many "shoulds" upon it than money?
Maybe law enforcement or religion have that beat, but you get my drift, right?
There are so many rules and laws about money that it makes your head spin. Step in the wrong direction, and you've broken one. But, do what you are told, and somehow your money life will come together like magic.
But does it?
Not by a long shot. Following the rules made by another, seldom, if ever, leads to true satisfaction or success.
I have seen this, again and again, in the years I have counseled people on their money. Something always trips them up. Many times these have been the same darned money traps that have tripped me up.
I used credit, and I used it in a responsible way. Or so I thought.
I bought homes, several of them throughout the years, and used debt to pay for them. Followed all those rules, too.
I once leased a car. It fit my monthly cash flow and made sense to lease versus buy. That wasn't such a hot idea either.
My husband and I saved for our future, retirement still a number of years away. We invested wisely and that turned out to be a bumpy road I do not wish on anyone.
We learned to live within our means -- a rule preached in the industry of wise money management -- and found some potholes to fall into with that approach as well.
All this said, money is not as predictable or handled as easily as the guru's in the industry lead you to believe. The rules, followed religiously, do not work for everyone.
They are NOT one size fits all.
Maybe that certain rule, guidance, or concept was not meant for you. What if another way was actually smarter or wiser?
What if you were meant to have a different money life than anyone else you know?
Unfortunately, most of us do not question the road or path that money leads us. We do not ask, "Is this the right path for me? Is there another way?" Instead, we just follow along and do what we believe, were taught, or learned to do with money.
And, if we fail, we scramble to find someone or something to blame. Maybe even ourselves.
Could it be that you, too, have created a life of "shoulds"? Does it look, or sound, something like this?
• I "should" have followed the rules correctly.
• I "should" have known better.
• I "should" have managed the money smarter (or my partner "should" have).
• I "should" have never bought this house, car, or gone on vacation.
• They "should" have told or warned me.
• They "should" never have approved my loan.
Maybe your "should" is not on the list. Like me, you may have followed all the rules and it still didn't come out as planned.
It might be time to take another road or path. Maybe it's time you said "enough already!" How about you blow up all the 'shoulda', 'coulda', 'woulda' beliefs and follow your own divine path? The one meant only for you!
Ready to blow up the shoulds?
I know I am. Each time I hear "meself" saying, "I should do blah, blah, blah," that is my big yellow warning sign. It reminds me to take another path. No more following someone else's rules. No more doing it because the financial guru's say so!
Want to talk about that? My ears, and heart, are wide open. I'd be honored to walk next to you as, together, we seek out your true, divine path. No kidding. It is your path that gets revealed. Not mine, but yours.
I'm working on mine. Are you ready to work on yours?
http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-Shoulds-Run-Your-Life?&id=9636441
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