Stop Bullying Yourself: How to Stand Up for Your Inner Child
Let me ask you something. If you were to step outside your house right now and see a big angry boy bullying a scared little girl (or a scared little boy, this part doesn’t matter, just stay with me), what will you do? What is your first instinct at that moment? What does your mind tell your body to do instantly?
Will you just watch and lie to yourself that nothing is wrong? Or will you spring to action right then and there?
I’ll tell you what I would do. I will
run over and protect that scared little girl (or boy) in whatever way I can. I will
tell the big angry boy to stop, to explain what he is doing and listen to him. I would also let him know that we understand he is unhappy, but he is not allowed to hurt someone else just because he is hurting. Or having a bad day. He needs to seek help and leave the little scared girl alone.
I know that’s what you would do too. Because you are kind, compassionate and innately good.
Let’s Talk About How You Can Stop Bullying Yourself Now
You don’t think that you bully yourself? Perhaps you don’t. Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?
Sit still for a minute and let us begin this examination with your thoughts.
Picture this: Everything was going well in your day until you realized that you just made a small mistake. Or forgot to return an important phone call. Or skipped out on your workout. Or ate a big meal when you had promised yourself to be good.
Or something else that went against the “I should” list in your head.
Can you hear your thoughts at that moment? Can you hear the tone of voice you use to talk to yourself about what happened?
Or rather, can you hear how you talk to your inner child, the scared little girl (or boy) who is trying to do the absolute best to please you and make you proud and get your approval and dare we say, receive your love?
Are you kind and compassionate to this inner child?
Are you forgiving and understanding of her oversights or his innocent mistakes?
If so, then I’m sorry to call you a bully. You are evolved beyond most humanity! You may even stop reading now, or better yet, grab the link to this article and send it to a friend.
Now, if you are still here, you might just be a bully, so let’s talk about how you can stop bullying yourself.
But perhaps first, we need to define it better. You
are a bully if you are mean and unkind to yourself, if you get angry and berate yourself for your actions, if you slather on the guilt, the shame, the judgement along with the berating self-talk that goes something like this:
“You’re so stupid! You’re such an idiot! You can never get anything right!”
It’s a terrifying moment when you realize that you are being a bully to yourself. I mean, in this moment, you are no different than the big, angry boy threatening and hurting the scared little girl (or boy), your own inner child. Do you agree?
Well, if you nodded yes, you are not alone, darling! I used to be such a bully to myself. A mean, awful, terrible and torturing bully. Ugly and disgusting as my self-loathing was, I could not see it. I was completely unaware of it until I couldn’t carry on anymore.
Bullying was not only awful to my inner child, to my soul, to my entire being, it never ever accomplished anything.
That’s when I began to look for a better way because there had to be one. How long can you go on being a bully to yourself?
Maybe if I loved myself more, I thought, or approved of who I am along with all my flaws and imperfections and sloppiness and clumsiness, maybe I can get different results.
So I learned to be kind instead of nasty. I learned to have forgiveness while improving for the future. I learned to be patient with slow progress and occasion slip-ups. I learned to be more human and guess what? I began to make huge strides toward my goals and dreams.
How did I do this? Simple: I changed the way I talked to myself. I changed the words, the sentences, the whole language. This was a gift and it came in the form of positive affirmations on a daily basis.
Stop the cycles of self-harm and pain with a new thought pattern
When you talk to yourself differently, your brain starts to create new thought patterns, and in this case, replace the negative ones with more positive thoughts.
Over time, you can slip out of the old patterns that kept you in the same cycles of self-harm and break free of your mental prison. This only happens if you are committed to reinforcing the new patterns.
How do you do that?
In this case, I was using positive affirmations and positive self-talk when the negative patterns began to emerge. I immediately shifted the dialogue and continued to repeat the positive affirmations until it sounded natural.
I’ll give you examples:
“Yes, I realize I forgot to make that important phone call. I will make it right now, apologize for the oversight and be more careful in the future. Everyone makes mistakes. I learned from this mistake.”
“Yes, I did not do my workout tonight. I am feeling angry but what’s done is done. I’m going to work harder tomorrow, and put more measures of discipline in place to stay true to my intention.”
When you reinforce these new patterns over and over, they become your natural reaction next time things go wrong.
So. Ready to create new thought patterns to stop your inner bully?
The system I used worked so powerfully that I packaged it up into a gift for you. I call it The Positive Affirmations for Life program, which has now improved the thought patterns and as a result, the lives of hundreds of readers just like you.
If you feel trapped in your negative thought patterns, if you find yourself putting the big bully in charge because you deserve nothing less. You are worthy of all the kindness and love and compassion and forgiveness, and you do not deserve any of the hurt or guilt or shame that your inner bully wants to throw at you.
So in the spirit of serving yourself, and loving your inner child, stop the self-harm, stop the cycles of self-sabotage, and free yourself from all this pain. You’ve done this long enough.
And don’t wait. You have waited enough, haven’t you? You have hoped it would go away long enough, and it hasn’t. It’s time to take a different kind of action.