What Really Makes You a Happy Person?

The experts say we only control 40 percent of our happiness. Are they right?

According to current popular ideas about the science of happiness, 10% of the variance in happiness in a given population is due to life circumstances (age, nationality, sex, race/ethnicity, and income); 50% is due to genetics; and 40% remains under our direct control. These numbers have been repeated in countless journal articles and books, and discussed as fact in college courses around the world.

Be skeptical.

These perfectly round numbers raise more questions than answers, and as of today, I still don't trust them.

When you are given a graph that is this clean, it seems reasonable to be skeptical. For instance, where do we fit in information showing that for certain people, exposure to environmental factors such as toxins or nutriments can switch genes on or off? This is a point that my colleagues and I discussed in prior work.

Although traits may be substantially influenced by genetic factors, individuals select, utilize, and adapt to their environments, affecting gene expression. Behavior geneticists distinguish between gene–environment transactions and gene–environment interactions.

In most cases, the interface between genetics and environment consists of transactions necessary for growth, reproduction, or development. An example of a transaction in the case of character strengths might be the necessity of extensive social experiences to enable the full development of the genetic disposition for social intelligence or leadership.

The term gene–environment interaction refers to a specific process in which the same stimulus affects individuals with differing genes in different ways. Research has revealed several examples of gene–environment interactions that match the diathesis-stress model of psychopathology (e.g., adolescent conduct disorder; Cadoret, Yates, Troughton, Woodworth, & Stewart, 1995). Future investigations may uncover a diathesis-nutriment interaction for character strengths like creativity, in which those with a genetic predisposition respond to enriched, stimulating environments with augmented creativity, whereas those without the predisposition respond less robustly.

Future research should endeavor to delineate how the interplay of genes and environments creates character strengths. In addition, future research might attempt to investigate the presence of non-additive effects. Such effects are difficult to detect unless the samples are extremely large.

What about research showing that as we get older, the genetic influence on our thoughts, feeling, and behavior changes? Consider these meta-analytic findings on various forms of intellect and cognitive functioning, from 12,721 sibling pairs; and on personality, from 21,057 sibling pairs (this is not a sample of 100 college students!):

In early life, shared environmental effects are the major stabilizing force for cognition. Over the first decade of life, the proportional contribution of genetic effects increases from approximately 10% to approximately 70%, and largely remains at that level for the remainder of the lifespan. The proportional contribution of the nonshared environmental effect gradually increases from nearly 0% to about 20% by late life.

In sharp contrast, genetic effects explain nearly 100% of the stability of personality in early life, but this proportion is slowly shaved away as the nonshared environmental contribution increases across the lifespan. By late adulthood, just over 50% of the stability of personality is attributable to genetic factors, with the remaining proportion attributable to nonshared environmental factors. Whereas genetically linked processes guide the stabilization of cognition, unique life experiences guide the stabilization of personality across the lifespan.

When I read this work, I am confused as to how scientists arrive at a single number to account for the genetic contribution to happiness. Genetic influences are often interwoven with environmental factors—check out this killer study of how genomic expression in West African infants depends on whether they are born in the rainy or dry season—and they change depending on when you study someone on the timeline, from toddler to elder. Instead of taking a single equation as fact, ask questions about exactly where the numbers came from: How many studies? What was the quality of those studies?Challenge authority with questions, such as: Why should we expect the numbers to be similar across time in the same person, much less different people from different cultures?

Let me end with tips on how to critically think about behavioral genetics, from one of the leading thinkers in this field, Eric Turkheimer. He arrived at three laws of behavioral genetics—and as of last week, a 4th law has been added. Keep these laws in mind anytime someone tries to sell you on the importance of genetics.

Remember, these are not theories, they are laws:

1. All human behavioral traits are heritable. [That is, they are affected to some degree by genetic variation.]

Source: Time

What this means is that if you read about the god gene, the divorce gene, or research suggesting that the length and expression of a single gene explains your preference for The Spin Doctors, think again: Everything has a genetic contribution, so we should never get excited about the discovery of what is obvious. Complex human behavior is unlikely to be governed by a single gene. If one gene is too valuable, humans become too vulnerable. (See Law #4.)

2. The effect of being raised in the same family is smaller than the effect of genes.

3. A substantial portion of the variation in complex human behavioral traits is not accounted for by the effects of genes or families.

Much of what influences our personality has to do with the presence of life events, both positive and negative, and our response to choice points: Do I approach or avoid my co-worker who regularly demeans me? Do I wake up early and work out or sleep in? Do I ask out the girl I've had a crush on for months or do I keep my feelings to myself? No single decision matters, but the patterns do. The decisions we make, the people we surround ourselves with, and the behaviors we engage in are the building blocks for the quality of our lives. Small changes accumulate over time leading to large changes in who we become.

4. A typical human behavioral trait is associated with very many genetic variants, each of which accounts for a very small percentage of the behavioral variability.

Source: Alliance/Shutterstock

Instead of a single "divorce gene," it makes more sense to consider a series of temperamental qualities that influence the probability of divorce, including self-control, impulsivity, behavioral inhibition, distractibility, adaptability, persistence, and mood. For instance, low self-control, high impulsivity, low behavioral inhibition, high distractibility, low adaptability, low persistence, and highly frequent and enduring bad moods is a suboptimal profile for a long, healthy romantic relationship. Each of these qualities has a strong genetic basis; together, they help explain why there is a genetic contribution to whether or not someone gets divorced.

Knowing the origin of what matters most to human beings is invaluable. Behavioral genetics is part of this origin story. Let's take a moment to understand what a genetic contribution means and be skeptical of overly simplistic ideas about what humans do in the wild.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201508/what-really-makes-you-happy-person

5 Ways Confident People Conquer Self-Doubt

Don't let insecurity get in the way of your goals.

Insecurity kills more dreams than lack of talent does. Believing things like "I'll never get promoted" or "I can't compete with the other businesses" will turn your self-doubt into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

All of us experience self-doubt sometimes, no matter how confident we are. But, mentally strong people don't let self-doubt prevent them from reaching their goals. Here's how to keep self-doubt from holding you back.

1. Embrace a little self-doubt.

Don't worry about a little self-doubt, because slight insecurity could actually bolster your performance. A 2010 study published in Psychology of Sport and Exercise found that individuals who experienced a little self-doubt actually performed better compared with people who were completely confident in their skills. Other studies have found similar results.

So rather than waste energy worrying that your self-doubt is really a sign from the universe warning you that you're about to fail, recognize that self-doubt can be helpful. Perhaps you'll spend more time rehearsing or maybe you'll put in more effort when you're aware that there's a chance it might not go smoothly.

2. Examine the evidence behind your thoughts.

When you encounter serious self-doubt, examine the truth behind your thoughts. Ask yourself, "What evidence do I have that I can't do this?" Then ask yourself, "What evidence do I have that I can do this?" Write down your answers on a piece of a paper.

Looking at the facts can help you see things in a more realistic manner. Although this exercise may not eliminate all of your self-doubt, examining the facts can help reduce your insecurities to a more helpful level.

3. Consider the worst-case scenario.

Self-doubt is fueled by catastrophic predictions like "I'm going to mess everything up." When you find yourself guessing things will go poorly, ask, "What's really the worst thing that could happen?" If you do make a mistake, would it really be that bad?

Remind yourself that even if things go terribly, it's unlikely to be life altering. Losing a game, stumbling over your lines, or failing to get a promotion probably won't matter that much in a few years. Keeping things in proper perspective can help calm your nerves.

4. Monitor your emotions.

Your emotions play a major role in how you think and behave. Anxious feelings can fuel doubtful thoughts and impair your performance, unless you take steps to regulate your emotions.

Pay attention to how your emotions influence your choices. If your anxiety skyrockets, calm your body and your mind by taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or distracting yourself with mundane tasks. Don't allow your short-term discomfort to convince you to bail out, give up, or cave in.

5. Focus on your present performance.

Whether you're stepping on a stage or running out onto an athletic field, telling yourself "I'm going to embarrass myself" will distract you from your performance. So rather than allow your inner monologue to drag you down, stay focused on the present.

Before you take the giant leap into whatever you're feeling doubtful about, give yourself a quick pep talk. Saying "All I can do is my best" will remind you that you don't need to strive for perfection. With that reminder, you'll be better equipped to put your energy where it needs to be--on your performance.

http://www.inc.com/amy-morin/5-ways-confident-people-conquer-self-doubt.html

9 Ways Introverts Can (Quietly) Outperform All the Loud People Around Them

Introverts have great strengths. They just don't go around yelling about them.
How can introverts become successful when it seems the world only has time to listen to those who shout the loudest? 

Susan Cain's book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking has been a bestseller ever since it was first published back in 2012. Cain also recently launched Quiet Revolution, which she describes as "a mission-based company that offers parenting and educational services to unlock the power of introverts." 

She recently did an "ask me anything" event on Product Hunt. Here are 10 highlights of what she had to say about how introverts can succeed and find happiness in a world dominated by louder voices.

1. Learn to take risks.

"It's easier to take risks in the service of something or someone you really care about. Professor Brian Little speaks of our "core personal projects"--the projects and people we place at the center of our lives. What and who are these for you? Once you've identified them, don't even think in terms of risk or not-risk. Just think in terms of how do you accomplish your goals."

2. Ignore the misconceptions.

"The No. 1 biggest misconception [is] thinking introverts are unfriendly or antisocial, when in fact we just like to socialize differently, more intensely, with a smaller group of people. ... I would add to this answer that people often see introverts as less powerful (because we tend to speak more softly, not enjoy conflict, etc.), when in fact introverts possess a whole suite of powers that have moved the world--powers of persistence, of concentration, of sensitivity, of ability to think deeply, and so on."

3. Practice before preaching (literally).

"I used to be really scared of public speaking, so I spent the year before my book came out (and the year before giving that TED talk) practicing public speaking in small, manageable, low-stakes settings. Do not begin by giving a TED talk! ... You want to practice over and over with audiences before whom it doesn't matter how much you seem nervous or forget what you were going to say."

4. Leverage your strengths as a salesperson.

"[F]ollow the age-old sales wisdom: "We all have two ears and one mouth and should use them in that proportion." Truly, the best salespeople listen really well and think about--and care--what their prospects need."

5. Work by yourself if that works best.

"Just ... say so. And if you can point to examples of great work you've gotten done via such a process, all the better."

6. Motivate yourself by focusing on mission.

"I remember, when Quiet first came out, feeling raw and exposed to the world. But I really did get used to it over time, and learned to focus not on the exposed feeling but rather on the sense of mission that made me write the book in the first place. That's what I tune in to now every single day."

7. Be inspired by other introverted leaders.

"Jim Collins did a famous study where he looked at the CEOs of the 11 best performing companies, and found that all 11 of them were described by their peers and colleagues as quiet, unassuming, low-key, soft-spoken, even shy. Gandhi was this kind of leader, as was Eleanor Roosevelt. Look around Silicon Valley today ... from Larry Page to Bill Gates and beyond."

8. On being an introverted entrepreneur.

"[W]hile sometimes you will have to act outside your comfort zone, it's much better to figure out how to communicate passion and conviction while still being yourself. ...  If it is coming from an authentic place, people will feel it. It also helps to have an extroverted partner or senior colleague who can do the things you don't like to do, and vice versa. My favorite example of this is Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's introverted CEO, and Sheryl Sandberg, extroverted COO. They are the ultimate yin-yang pair."

9. Learn to "advertise yourself."

"I would look for ways to showcase your expertise--whether through internal company blogs, small speaking roles at a company conference, etc. Second, if you have expertise that your colleagues could benefit from--share it! Send them emails with info they can use, etc. And finally, ... [make] a list of some of your accomplishments. ... Even if you never share the list with anyone, it will help center you emotionally around the value you bring."

http://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/heres-how-introverts-can-quietly-outperform-all-the-loud-people-around-them.html

8 Ways to Really Connect With Each Other

The world may be anti-depth. You don't have to be.

The other day, a 21-year-old family acquaintance and I were talking about how, “What are we?” has become a taboo question among dating couples in her generation. Better to be unconcerned about commitment issues, apparently, even if strong feelings arise or intimacies have occurred.

“I think your generation is anti-depth,” I said.

"It’s true,” she said.

Is superficial somehow better than deep?

Superficial connectedness appears to be a preference in the collective unconscious of millennials, as technology threatens to supplant face-to-face intimacy. With devices in hand, we can avoid human exchange—and the potential awkwardness therein.

One might ask, “What is wrong with avoidance?” As a professor of mine once said, “If you have a flying phobia, you can get treatment—or you can just not fly.”

Because avoidance relieves discomfort or fear in the moment, it feels like a solution. However, prolonged evasion exacerbates anxiety, makes it harder to extinguish, and limits possibilities for life enjoyment. Resilience, a very useful trait, is gained by exposure to stimulus. In small doses, we learn that we can manage and that the threat was unnecessarily inflamed. Maybe we even start to embrace what we shunned.

It is one thing to have a mouse phobia and another to have a social phobia, especially if the latter is culturally induced. Avoiding mice probably won't detract as much from an optimal life as avoiding people. Current research suggests that we do suffer without deep human connections. But how do you define a deep or true connection and how does it differ from say, a Facebook connection? How do you develop it?

Someone recently told me a story: An older person was baffled by a teen’s suicide since the deceased had 40 Facebook friends. A younger person explained that Facebook friends are not necessarily real friends. You may have never met them, and they may not actually care if you live or die or had a bad day. Facebook friendship no longer connotes a precious relationship. We might think we are meeting our primal need via virtual solutions and high tallies of friends or followers but it seems we are not.

According to MIT professor and researcher Sherry Turkle, author of the upcoming Reclaiming Conversation, devices interfere with conversations, empathy, imagination, patience, resilience, inner life and mental health. Studies show that empathy is decreasing rapidly in rising generations.

As inner resources and empathy decline, depression, anxiety and stress are soaring: College health services are inundated with students overwhelmed by depression, anxiety, stress, fragility, fear, loneliness, helplessness and a feeling of victimization. One colleague told me that 75% of the kids on her campus are in treatment. Claiming that one has been traumatized via “micro-aggressions” —passing statements or book passages that trigger feelings of vulnerability—is becoming commonplace as noted in the Atlantic. We have arrived at a place where the outer world presents ongoing psychological danger and the inner world cannot cope. (Boston College psychologist and educational expert Peter Gray describes the astounding situation.

What explains the suffering? Device dependency, helicopter parents, image over substance, and a surfeit of superficial engagements compromise a deeper relationship with the self and with others. Self-knowledge/reliance/soothing techniques, inner resilience, and problem solving skills do not develop properly. The literature indicates that kids are so stressed about grades, social media and performance that they are sleep deprived, sheep-like and soulless. The very things that will help them succeed and stay well, such as meaningful relationships and conversations, are sacrificed. True connections take time to develop—and they do not have ample time.

The strange thing is that there is now so much talk, hype, and valuing of connectedness—being connected, connecting the whole world, reaching out. People in remote places or underserved communities may need to a way to “connect” for health or educational reasons. However, those with resources may be inundated with so many meaningless connections that they feel overwhelmed, depressed, or hopeless—especially if they crave depth and substance. Breadth does not do it for everyone, or perhaps anyone.

In the Steve Jobs documentary, the mother of his first child comments that he made a device that created connectedness because he had trouble connecting to people in real life. Inventing devices can involve a rich creative process or a psychological solution/compensation for the innovators. But the impact on consumers may be less freeing and more fraught. It appears that early innovators did not anticipate “addiction” risks—or perhaps business interests trumped human needs.   

Author Jonathan Franzen, in a review of Turkle’s new book, says that we “adopted new technologies in pursuit of greater control, only to feel controlled by them.” We cannot just stop using our devices, being seduced by them, or depending on them. They are beautiful and serve many purposes. It seems that Jobs believed his devices would place innovation, expression, creativity, education, and delight in the palm of each hand holding a smartphone, yet had his own children take technology in stride. As is the way with most things, balance breeds betterness.

 8 Suggestions for Cultivating Helpful Conversations, Health and Friendships

1. Notice it when things do not feel quite right while you are ensconced in your device. Self-sensitivity preserves your health and increases your ability to understand others. Many people deny or dismiss inner feeling states but they are a great source of information.
2. Make a plan to participate in the real world—meet a friend, take a walk, use your hands to make something or sit on a bench and daydream or dialogue with your self or with another.
3. Establish a moderate use pattern for devices, as Turkle recommends. Make a clear, consistent plan so that your mind and body integrate it. Have conversations without devices in view.
4. Find a way to form deeper friendships. Start casual, take small steps, tolerate strange situations and strangers, and let it evolve when something clicks.
5. Trade self-consciousness for interest in the other person. Be in a conversation rather than putting on a performance. This is a version of emotional altruism—and altruism is a “healthy defense.”
6. Figure out, for you, when your needs are best met by technology and when nothing will replace a human interaction. Look for this answer inside by what sinks or elevates your emotional state.
7. Develop empathy by listening, observing, learning, and asking questions. Be curious. Delve into an endeavor that has personal meaning and draws you in. These are both ways of getting “deeper.”
8. Know that there is something ubiquitous, primal, and timeless about the need for a true friend and that deep friendship heals. Science says so.     

Source: by Chloe Barron

In the car on the way home after writing this draft, the song, “You’ve Got a Friend,” by Carole King came on the radio. I just cannot help but share because since 1971 (and evidenced today by the current Broadway hit “Beautiful,”) it has resonated with millions of people. In those days, “get real” was commonly prescribed advice. Just saying. . .

“When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand.

And nothing, nothing is going right.

Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night.

You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am,

I’ll come running to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you’ve got to do is call

And I’ll be there. You’ve got a friend…”

(lyrics by Carole King)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-creativity-cure/201509/8-ways-really-connect-each-other

How Fear Warps Your Thinking—and 3 Ways You Can Fight Back

Why fear is the biggest threat to your success

           

A tall, wobbly ladder–and you at the top.

A black spider with eight hairy, spidery legs.

A clown—any clown.

Fear can be a great survival tool. But as a way of life? It has some nasty side effects.

In every stressful or threatening situation, your brain starts logging details and adding warning labels. You may not notice at the time—you're too busy dealing with the situation—but later, whenever you encounter one similar detail to that threatening situation, you'll find yourself with sweaty palms and a racing heart. Once triggered, fear manifests in one of two primary ways: as a continual low-level fear or as a high-level, intense fear.

Anxiety is the low-level, everyday, garden-variety type of fear. It's an alertness to potential danger rather than a response to present danger. When you're anxious, your brain releases stress hormones and shuffles your priorities. Instead of focusing intently on one thing, you go into a vigilant scanning mode.

This is really useful if, say, you're on the savanna and need to notice that clump of bushes swaying before the lion jumps out. It's not so useful if the anxiety is triggered by deadlines, strained relationships, financial pressure or an overloaded inbox. In those cases, hyper-alert mode keeps you from concentrating, which is precisely what you must do to solve those anxiety-inducing problems.

The full fear response is intense, usually short-lived, and has profound effects on your body and mind. The first major effect is energy redirection. When fear kicks in, survival—rather than health—becomes paramount. Your brain reroutes energy to necessary survival skills, like eyesight and muscle response. Other functions, such as your digestive system, get put on hold.

Fear also redirects your thinking. Normally, sensory inputs take a long, leisurely route through your prefrontal cortex, where they are evaluated. Logical, abstract moral, and creative thinking all happen here. Fear gives your sensory inputs a short-cut, straight to your emotional, instinctive center: the amygdala. Here you get quick, concrete, reactive, specific thinking and emotionally or instinctively-driven decisions.

You can probably see how emotionally driven decisions might not be helpful when the fear you face is, say, an angry boss or an unhappy spouse.

Fortunately, there are some actions you can take to keep fear from controlling how you think. Here are three:

1. Recognize fear with body check-ins.

Perform a simple, hourly body check-in by asking yourself, What am I feeling right now? and then scanning your body, head to toes. When you find something off, such as strained vision, tense shoulders, heartburn or shallow breathing, ask yourself, Why am I feeling this right now? If you can identify the source of the fear, you can then face it consciously and determine if it is a real threat or not.

2. Reduce fear with buffers.

Everyday situations can cause unending anxiety that literally disables your brain from doing concentrated, creative work. Ease your anxiety by building buffer into your work and personal life. Set up soft deadlines a few days before the real deadlines. Add transition time between meetings, clients or events. Schedule extra commute time. As much as you can, space out your obligations and projects so your brain can relax and do its work well.

3. Face fear with controlled experiences.

For defined triggers, those distinct fears you know you have, you can slowly train yourself to handle them better. Nothing extreme; just decide on a simple action you'll take instead of freezing the next time you encounter the trigger. Freezing is the body's initial, automatic response. When you force yourself to take a different action instead, you slowly retrain your brain to respond to that particular fear in a different (more productive) way. Over time your brain learns that this trigger is not an unpredictable danger, but a manageable, if unpleasant, situation that you can handle.

Being unaware of fear can keep us locked into it. But when you know what fear feels like, looks like and does to your brain, you can start taking control.

http://www.success.com/article/how-fear-warps-your-thinking-and-3-ways-you-can-fight-back

Why You Need to Stop Worrying About Failing

Don’t let the fear of making a mistake distort your decision-making and lead to an even worse mistake. 

Do you know what “icing the kicker” means? In football, when a kicker is preparing to make a potential game-winning field goal, the opposing coach will often call a time-out right before the ball is snapped.

The thinking behind this strategy is that a last-second time-out will distract the kicker and disrupt his rhythm. The problem is, it doesn’t really work. According to the sports research book Score casting by economist Tobias Moskowitz and Sports Illustrated writer L. Jon Wertheim, an iced NFL kicker makes the field goal 77.5 percent of the time in the last 15 seconds of the half or overtime. If the opponent does not call a time-out, the field goal is made only 75.4 percent of the time. Icing the kicker only increases his chances of scoring!

So why do coaches do it? Because they feel that doing something is better than doing nothing at all. This is an example of how the fear of making a mistake can distort our decision-making and lead to an even worse mistake. Whether you’re lining up a 55-yard field goal, starting a new business or preparing to pivot in your life or career, it’s natural to be afraid of failure. The key is to ensure that your fear of failure is in proportion with the odds of the worst-case scenario actually happening.

Our worries should be directly proportional to the possibility of the event. If there’s a .00001 chance of a stock market crash today, I won’t spend 99 percent of my time worrying about it. Whenever I find myself stressed about negative prophecies, I stop and ask two questions:

1. How often has this negative event happened to me before?

2. How often does this negative event happen to people in my situation?

By simply reminding myself of the unlikelihood of what I fear actually happening, my brain focuses on preparing for success.

http://www.success.com/article/why-you-need-to-stop-worrying-about-failing

Organize Your To-Do List into These 4 Categories

Don’t let busyness derail your business—prioritize your tasks and weed out distractions.

➽ I’m busy as heck but not getting anywhere. What am I doing wrong?

➽ Entrepreneurs say that staying focused is a huge challenge. So it’s crucial to have an ongoing plan to keep you on track, a written outline that stays within reach and states what you intend to accomplish every day.

I set aside an hour or so every Sunday night to map out my week ahead. What will I focus on first thing Monday? Then on to Tuesday, and so on. Whom do I contact and why? What are my top priorities—no more than three—for the week, and what activities could distract me? The more detailed my calendar, the more prepared and focused I am. Committing my priorities to words focuses me mentally.

Despite that, distractions can still derail you. I often find myself pulled in too many directions—reacting to phone calls, email and other stuff that pops up. The triage method below—touching things only once and then moving on—keeps me from being overwhelmed.

1. Do immediately. If a task feeds my priorities, my time is justified.

2. Delegate. Someone else can and should do these to save me time. Even micro-business owners can benefit from an intern or temp.

3. Drop. I ask myself, Will this make money for me right now or anytime in the future? Does it fulfill my current priorities? If the answer is no, I dump it.

4. Defer. Some items might appeal but aren’t time-sensitive or high-priority. Delay them to a more convenient time.

Jenn Lee, an Orlando, Fla.-based small-business coach, says her biggest time-drain involves dozens of mini-projects each week. “I used to try and squeeze them in between phone calls, emails and posting on Facebook, but there were days when I’d leave my office without accomplishing anything. Something needed to change.”

So Lee sets aside 25-minute blocks of time each day, one for each of three key tasks she must accomplish. “I look at everything I need to do and assign them one of my blocks of time dedicated to that task. I set up three a day, usually two in the morning, when my brain works best on creative things, and one in late afternoon to finish up. Knowing that I have dedicated time to each task means I don’t fret all day over them, and I get better results because I’m focused.”

Another time-sucking aspect of Lee’s business was trying to help clients who, for whatever reason, couldn’t be helped. One client “never did what I advised her to do,” she says. “As a coach, a good part of what drives me is seeing entrepreneurs succeed after gaining clarity and guidance from me. But when I work with someone who isn’t moving forward, it drives me crazy.”

Ultimately Lee told the client she could no longer work with her. “Since then, I am very careful who I work with,” she says. “Before I take on clients, I ask a series of leading questions. Their answers help me see if I will like working with them. Working with the right client saves me time, and time is what we all need to get it all done.” 

http://www.success.com/article/organize-your-to-do-list-into-these-4-categories

The Test that Can Help You Identify the Early Warning Signs of Depression

One in 10 Americans have depression, but most of them don't even know it.

There is a National Depression Screening Day, which means everyone has free access to an online screening tool that can assess for signs of depression. That's important, because early intervention is key to effective treatment.

Identify the Early Warning Signs of Depression

There are several different kinds of depression, such as dysthymia and major depression, and symptoms range in severity. On the mild end, symptoms may include minor irritability and a slight decrease in appetite. But the severe end of the spectrum may include difficulty performing daily activities and an increased risk of suicide.

Although depression is best treated when it's caught early, many people don't recognize the early warnings signs. The symptoms of depression can be subtle and they're often attributed to other issues, like stress or ageing. As a result, people with mild depression often delay treatment, and the longer treatment is delayed, the worse their depression becomes.

Getting Treatment for Depression

A 2011 survey published in the Annals of Family Medicine discovered that more than two-fifths of adults don't tell their doctor about their depression. While some survey participants reported they feared their doctor would prescribe anti-depressants, others felt like depression was out of their doctor's realm of expertise.

Primary care physicians are actually a great place to start the conversation about depression. Tell your doctor if you're feeling down or if you're experiencing changes to your sleeping or eating habits.

Your doctor may prescribe an anti-depressant medication. If your doctor thinks you should see someone who specializes in prescribing psychiatric medication, you may be referred to a psychiatrist. But ultimately, it's your decision if you want to treat your depression with medication.

Your doctor may also recommend therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy addresses the thoughts and behaviors that reinforce depression and it's a very effective form of treatment.

How the Depression Screening Tool Helps

Answering a few simple questions on the depression screening tool will reveal any warning signs that could be indicative of depression. If the screening tool identifies potential red flags, you'll be given information on how to get help in your area.

Learning about the symptoms and risk factors of depression increases the chances that people will seek help. A survey by the University of Connecticut found that 55% of participants who completed an online depression screening tool sought treatment within three months.

How to Take the Test

Go to the National Depression Screening Day website and take the test. You'll be asked a few demographic questions and then, the screening begins. You'll be asked simple questions, such as how often you experience loss of appetite or difficulty concentrating. After answering those questions, you'll receive immediate feedback about your risk of depression.

After you take the test for yourself, encourage your friends, family members, and employees to use the screening tool as well. Encourage everyone you know to devote a few minutes to evaluate their risk of depression.

Talking to others about depression helps reduce the stigma associated with mental illness. It can also be a good way to start a conversation about the steps you can take to build mental strength and reduce your risk of mental health problems.

http://www.inc.com/amy-morin/the-test-that-can-help-you-identify-the-early-warning-signs-of-depression.html

10 Things I Learned by Studying Every 'Shark Tank' Pitch Ever Made

During its first five seasons, nearly 400 entrepreneurs have appeared on Shark Tank to pitch their ideas. In honor of the sixth season premier, I analyzed every single one of them and found key lessons for anyone who wants to be successful.

I've spent years studying entrepreneurship and am now involved in a new startup of my own. It might not be surprising, therefore, to learn that I'm addicted to the TV series Shark Tank.

Nearly 400 entrepreneurs have pitched the Sharks since the show debuted in 2009. Recently, I set out to study almost every single one of them. I took an afternoon and poured every pitch from the show's first five seasons into a spreadsheet, tagged and analyzed them, and tried to draw some conclusions.

(This column might make more sense if you take a quick look at my chart on Cafe.com, which highlights some of the preliminary results of my analysis of 377 pitches that have been made on Shark Tank over the past five years.)

Here's what I learned.

1. Your odds are as good as anyone's.

Let's start by establishing a baseline. Of the 377 pitches that I reviewed, 185 were successful--meaning that the entrepreneurs on the show reached a handshake deal with at least one Shark to invest in their company. That works out to a pretty amazing 49 percent success rate.

Of course, only a small percentage of entrepreneurs who apply for the show get picked to appear to begin with--0.4 percent, according to the show's producers. Even after a deal appears to be struck, there is usually an intense due diligence process that kills many--maybe even a majority--of deals.

2. Bigger markets are better.

I used seven categories to characterize each of the entrepreneur's pitches, and the most consistent predictor of success was "mass market." An amazing 78 percent of the pitches we tagged in this category were successful.

Granted, there were a number of pitches that the Sharks rejected because they were wary of getting into a big industry dominated by big players. However, when all else is equal, the Sharks wanted to see massive potential for growth. If you don't have a big potential market, that's hard to demonstrate.

3. Don't get too far ahead of the customer.

Wannabe entrepreneurs often make a common mistake: They try to come up with a product idea that is actually too far ahead of the competition. The problem is that by doing so, you can get too far ahead of your customer as well.

Another way to look at this is that contrary to stubborn perception, real entrepreneurs and investors don't like risk. These kinds of risky pitches were often tagged as "niche" in my analysis, and they were successful only 23 percent of the time.

4. Customer needs beat customer wants.

We've already seen that mass-market categories do best on Shark Tank, but it turns out that some specific mass-market categories do better than others. What do they have in common? The customer need they help solve has more to do with an actual "need" than a mere "want."

Case in point: clothing, which is one of the most consistently successful categories on Shark Tank, with entrepreneurs getting a handshake deal 73 percent of the time. There have also been a heck of a lot of pitches for food, alcohol, and other related products--65 by my count. Those do better than average as well, with about a 55 percent success rate.

5. Don't be ridiculous.

There have been a fair number of pitches over the first five years that at first seem designed more for comic relief than as a serious attempt to get a Shark to invest. Unsurprisingly, they are rarely successful. Pitches whose primary tag was "just plain weird" were successful only 11 percent of the time.

You can imagine that some of these pitches--things like the guy who wanted to surgically implant Bluetooth devices in people's heads, or the entrepreneur who said he could generate energy by harnessing the earth's rotation (while mining gold and producing fresh drinking water as byproducts)--seem like they got on the show because they're fun television stunts. However, if you don't think there are many entrepreneurs out there trying to pitch similarly crazy ideas, let me give you a tour of my email inbox sometime.

6. Focus on the customer, not on yourself.

It's hard to overstate this. Sometimes, some of the Sharks can appear on the show to have soft hearts, especially when they see entrepreneurs who are incredibly passionate about their products and have already overcome long odds to keep their dreams afloat. When it comes time to make a deal, however, an entrepreneur's personal story is really only compelling if it demonstrates that he or she has a compelling insight into customer needs.

The show's recent season premiere had a perfect example of this. An entrepreneur, named Michael Elliott, who had an incredibly compelling personal story--he'd been a ward of the state as a child, lived on the streets for a while, and ultimately became a successful magazine writer and screenwriter--clearly earned the Sharks' respect. However, when it came time to make a deal on his Hammer Nails "nail shop for guys," there were no offers to be found.

7. It's hard to be trendy.

There's a lot of fool's gold in trends. Things move so quickly in business that by the time a new entrepreneur can identify a trend and think of a way to capitalize on it, often the trend is over. That said, while the sample size is small--only five pitches were tagged primarily as "trendy"--four of these entrepreneurs managed to leave the show with a handshake deal.

Despite that 80 percent success rate, I worry about people taking the wrong lesson. For every Buggy Beds (capitalizing on fear of bed bugs) with a $250,000 investment and a $1 million valuation, there's a pitch like Broccoli Wad (a money clip capitalizing on the popularity of The Sopranos) with a much smaller $50,000 investment and a $250,000 valuation.

8. Women are better customers than men.

At least when the Sharks are involved, entrepreneurs who are seeking to sell primarily to women do better. Pitches that I tagged primarily as targeting women had a 56 percent success rate. Beyond that, products aimed at children did 59 percent, and pitches that were tagged as "educational" had a phenomenal 73 percent success rate.

Combining the high success rates of products for women and children with the high success rate for clothing however, might lead some entrepreneurs to an unfortunate conclusion. I found several instances in which entrepreneurs on Shark Tank wanted to sell maternity clothes. Not a single one was successful.

9. Know your numbers…

I've often found that you can predict whether a business is doomed to fail within about 60 seconds by asking two simple questions: What customer problem are you solving? and Why are you the person to solve it?

That second question explains why there is no easier way to get eaten alive on Shark Tank than to walk into the studio looking for an investment of thousands or even millions of dollars, and not be able to articulate basic metrics about your business very quickly. This was a little bit harder to track, but anecdotally it came through time and again.

10. …but don't nickel and dime.

Finally, this last lesson also goes back to being able to do simple math--especially under pressure. Believe me, I understand working to get the best deal possible, and there are some times when an entrepreneur is better off leaving a lopsided deal on the table. (Case in point: Copa di Vino, which even ABC's website describes as the most successful pitch that didn't result in an investment.)

That said, there are many instances in which negotiations on Shark Tank get caught up in a tense back-and-forth over what is really phantom equity--sometimes to the point of killing the deal on air. Moreover, you have to suspect that many of the deals that get killed after the show is over are the same ones in which the negotiations are toughest on air. Both on Shark Tank and in real life, a contentious tone during the deal can make working together later more difficult, too.

http://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/10-things-i-learned-by-studying-every-shark-tank-pitch-ever-made.html