Why Being Happy, Raises Your MORALE, And Results

Which do you believe to be more important, your personal happiness, or whether your life represents, and prioritizes, acting in a significant manner, that serves mankind, in some sort of essential, positive way? While one may believe that one's personal ability or level of being happy might be secondary, and less important, it is extremely challenging for most of us to do the best we can for others, unless it also makes us personally feel good, in some manner. You can, indeed, proceed in a productive, meaningful, effective way, by seeking to serve the common good, but doing so in a manner that also emphasizes your personal needs, and makes you feel both proud of your ideas and actions, and provides you with a level of happiness and being personal content. Unless you make yourself happy, it is nearly impossible to do anything for others, and it is even more challenging to sustain your activities and personal motivation, without providing yourself with a degree of personal satisfaction, etc. When helping other makes you happy, it will raise your MORALE, and thus drive and propel you forward, in a consistent, and persistent way.
1. Motivates you to persist and persevere: Quite often, it is one's willingness to move forward in a positive, proactive way, despite any obstacles or challenges that may block your progress! The late, Judge Jonah Goldstein, the visionary behind the amazing works of the civic and philanthropic organization, The Grand Street Boys, defined it this way, "Happiness is the one thing in life that multiplies by division. The more you give to others, the more you have for yourself."
2. Originate; optimize: Do you consider and proceed with an open mind, seeking the best, rather than the popular (or frequent) approach, or do you stick to what you perceive as the safer, don't rock the boat, approach? It is always better to be the best original you, than any sort of carbon copy of others!
3. Rational; reachable; realistic: Does your idea make sense? Can you make others feel and do better? Have you considered what others might perceive, and how to best get through to them? Only when helping others, also makes you feel satisfied/happy, will your results be optimized!
4. Attitude; approachable; garners attention: When what we do makes us happy, it enhances the degree of our personal positive attitude, makes us more willing to listen to others, and gets a higher degree of the right type of attention, that makes one's plans more possible!
5. Lets you do your best; leverages skills and abilities; enhances and potentiates learning: Pursue quality and meaningful activities, not only because it's the right thing to do, but because it makes you feel better about yourself! Each of us have some personal skills and abilities, using them productively and with impact! Never stop learning, and feel better about yourself, when you help others and the world!
6. Effective; energizing; elevates you: Each of our personal degrees of effectiveness, is enhanced when we truly believe in what we pursue! Don't proceed in a less than maximal pursuit, and be sure that you are constantly elevating yourself, as you help others!
Never underestimate the value and significance of one's personal degree of happiness! Doing so makes you stronger and more effective, because when you enhance your own MORALE, you increase your possibilities!

Awareness Requires the Right Action

Awareness is of no use if a person does not respond in some concrete way, either to begin something new or to quit doing something contrary to the well-being of self or others. There must be courage to take steps to implement the required change. When a person places more value on the benefits of a current way of doing something without giving adequate consideration to its long-term implications there can be a disconnect as to what is truly the best course of action. While it is important to enjoy our present life we don't want to do it at the cost of mortgaging our future. Having an unduly single minded focus on the present without appreciating how we want our future to look can be devastating. A major cause of this is a survivalist mindset conditioned most likely in childhood to think about just getting through another day, another week or perhaps another year. The idea of having something more than enough to take care of the future or to invest in relationships to ensure they will be there in the future is a difficult concept for such a mindset. People can be afraid to address it because it involves pain to unravel it and get to the root of it.

It is worth investing a little more in the topic of fear. I once heard in a movie trailer that "fear rots the brain." That is a very succinct and accurate representation of the effects of fear. It distorts our thinking. Fear blocks ones awareness or at least can impair our willingness to acknowledge the new awareness trying to take root in our consciousness. This can be due to the new awareness being costly in some manner. Perhaps it will affect our finances or maybe we need to release a relationship. Whatever the cost it is important to recognize the awareness that has arisen and be willing to not let the fear of loss influence our decision. All true awareness has the purpose of improving our long-term well-being even if there is a sacrifice in the short-term. Of course this raises the question of accurate discernment as to what appears to be a new awareness. In the event of a serious consequence it is wise to get counsel from someone we trust or go to an authoritative source able to give us a definitive answer.

Decide to stop being driven by fear. Until you can get to a place of peace refuse to make a decision. And decide to start or stop doing those things you know your new awareness is telling you.



The Unstoppable Power Of Your Subconscious Mind Empowers You To Create Your Dreams

When people come to me for an issue they struggle with, the perception they hold makes the issues more complex or onerous. The common perception is that in order to solve something it will be a long difficult struggle. This perception explains why 96% of people are reluctant to engage in a process to resolve issues.
The truth is tiny shifts in your mindset can make a HUGE impact in your career, your finances, your relationships... everything in your life.
That's why it's significantly important that you learn how to cultivate a mindset of beliefs, habits and emotions that will empower you instead of dis-empowering you and holding you back.
Imagine if the unstoppable power of your subconscious mind was working FOR your dreams, instead of your conscious mind working against them! You can have it now. However, you are the only one who is the driving force.
The first step is deciding you deserve to create a happier more fulfilling life. The second step is shifting your perception that in order to solve something it will be a long difficult struggle.
If the first two steps seem too difficult or you discover you are unable to affect them, then, you will need assistance to achieve Steps One and Two.
Unfortunately, few people have learned to turn on, tune in, tap into their subconscious mind. While meditation is helpful, the old needs to be rooted out so that the new can come in.
Do you know what is holding you back? If yes, how to eliminate it and replace it with an empowering mindset is the secret. If you are unable to identify what is holding you back or how to eliminate it, professional assistance will give you the boost you need.
Thousands of people create abundant lives with this priceless secret, and now you can learn it too, and transform your life forever.
You will take a short leading-edge quiz to reveal EXACTLY what's holding you back from creating your dreams. Coupled with this discovery and utilizing a 3-step process along with hypnosis work, what's holding you back can be eliminated.
Discover this priceless secret to create your highest level of success!
This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. Are you willing to take the steps required to claim your happiness and success?
There is no shame in asking for assistance to create happiness and success. If you have read the books, taken workshops, had psychic readings, taken prescriptions and OTC drugs etc. and still struggle; you might have emotional blocks preventing you from moving into your happiness and desires.
This is an investment in your happiness and success. Following the principles in this process will change your life forever and I want you to experience it yourself as soon as possible. Remember only you can take care of your happiness and emotional, physical and spiritual health.
For your convenience, a 20-minute FREE no obligation phone conversation to answer your questions and discuss how you can discover and create personal and professional success is available.
You are worth it. You deserve to create your happiness and desired success.
This is to your happiness, success and abundance.
P.S. Imagine you never had to go another year without the blessings you desire. Here's your chance to make that transpire!


Feeling Stressed? Some Simple Ways to Relieve Stress

Do you lie awake at nights, being plagued by thoughts and problems? Do you often find yourselves anxious, nervous and highly irritable during the day?... If the answer is 'yes', you are under stress!.. Stress kills!.. Stress affects the mind and the body in equal measures. It is one of the most severe and rising problems of recent times and affects each and every person at some point of life. Here are some simple relaxation techniques to help fight stress:
1. Take a stroll: One of the easiest ways to cope with everyday stress, is to take a walk. Take a stroll around the neighborhood, climb steps in your building, finish your grocery shopping... step out! If going for a stroll is not possible, go to your kitchen garden or open the window. Breathe in... you will immediately feel able to face the day again and resume your activities.
2. Music: Music is a wonderful way to reduce your heart rate and anxiety levels. Listening to soothing sounds like birds chirping, or the flow of water helps calm the mind and helps it relax. You can always crank up the volume button and rock your blues away to the upbeat music... or you can sing at the top of your voice, if it works for you!
3. Yoga and other exercises: For thousands of years, yoga has proved to have answers to all life's maladies. Some simple asanas like a spinal twist, shavasana (corpse pose) or balasana (child's pose) etc can help you relax completely and reduce your stress levels dramatically. Stress, leads to muscle stiffness, so doing these asanas, which include stretch to the muscles, help relieve stress.
Besides yoga, any other form of exercise, releases endorphins in the body. These are chemicals that make you feel 'high' and induce a sense of well-being. Along with exercises, breathing techniques like meditation helps you alleviate stress levels and calms the mind. Also forms like hypnosis and reiki can help in highly stressful conditions.
4. Goof it up: The adage 'laughter is the best medicine' proves true in highly stressed conditions. Laughter reduces the levels of cortisol, a stress hormone and boosts the working of the brain. It increases the blood flow and distracts you from excess anxiety. So, rent a comedy, or swap jokes.
5. Take a whiff: Some highly aromatic oils like anise, basil, eucalyptus, lemon etc when inhaled directly or added to your bath water helps reduce the stress related tension in the body. Depending on the scent, you can either stimulate your brain or can relax the mind.
6. Massage: if possible, indulge in some massage therapy. Massage increases blood circulation in the body and the brain. This helps flush out many toxins and even soothes the many aches and pains that arise due to muscle stiffness, as a result of excessive stress.
There are many ways in which you can fight stress and not let it overcome you. Recognize that you are under stress and take measures accordingly.



Why You Become Happier With Age

              
Everybody has ups and downs, but over the years I’ve noticed a long-term trend: I’m getting happier with age. While the unpredictable events of daily life obviously influence your state of mind at any given time, there’s definitely been a general upward trend – like the stock chart of a healthy, growing company.
The reason is hard to miss. I’ve had a career that followed pretty much the same sort of trajectory: plenty of high-frequency ups and downs but generally up and to the right over the long haul. While that’s nothing to write home about, I think you’ll find the factors behind it illuminating, if not surprising.
Maturity … sort of. When you’re young your world is small but your ego is huge so, relatively speaking, every little thing matters a lot. Growing up is about realizing you’re not such a big deal after all. When you stop taking yourself so seriously and start lightening up, life gets a lot easier. While I’m still a kid in many ways, it’s balanced by a sense of humility.
Work-hard, play-hard attitude. I used to think of my dad as a tyrant for drumming a compulsive work ethic into me every day of my life. Meanwhile my mom was pretty laid back about everything. She was a real partier. Put them together, you have me. They’ve been gone a long time, but I’m grateful every day for that strange combination. It’s a real gift.
High aspirations, low expectations. We didn’t have much growing up so pretty much anything was an improvement. And while I admit to having been a little jealous of the nicer things my friends had, rather than a handicap I used that as an incentive to work hard and strive to achieve great things. That relentless drive is critical to success.
Unquenchable thirst for knowledge and experience. I always had this insatiable hunger to learn: to explore, to figure out how things work, to know everything about everything. My parents encouraged that by buying me tons of books, although I don’t know how they kept from going nuts. I was like that annoying kid who’s always asking stuff like, “Mommy, why’s the sky blue?” I literally never shut up.
Knowing who to listen to. I’ve never been shy about asking advice of those who had achieved what I aspired to be. More importantly, I listened. Sure, I trusted my gut, but when their words really resonated with me, I acted without hesitation. That proved remarkably beneficial in choosing the right path when I was at a crossroads.
Knowing who not to listen to. Having grown up on the streets of Brooklyn, where everyone had an opinion on everything, I learned early on how full of crap most people are. So I’ve never paid attention to what anyone says about how I behave or live my life. My methods and choices are mine and nobody else’s. That’s worked out pretty well.   
At peace with who I am. Life offers two distinct choices. The first is to reach for the stars. If you make it, great. If not, you have nothing to feel bad about. The second is not to go for it and spend the rest of your life beating yourself up over what you’re not and all the while wondering what could have been. Regret is a bitter pill to swallow.
What I thought you’d find counter-intuitive is that it’s all sort of work related. The reason is simple. My priority has always been to do what I love for a living so, for me, hard work has always been fun and fulfilling. That’s probably why I’m good at it. And, over time, that brought freedom, flexibility, and a good life. A happy life.
But there is a catch. It doesn’t happen overnight. One thing I noticed somewhere along the line is, the less I pressured myself in the short-term – the more I learned to let go and relax – the more successful I became over the long-term. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t be in such a hurry to get to the finish line. You’ll get there soon enough.

3 Choices That Make The Difference Between An Ordinary Life & An Extraordinary One

For more than half my life, happiness was something I saw only in movies. The only emotion I had was bitterness. I was constantly struggling with my relationship, my work, and my health.
After 12 years of living this way, I woke up. It took another three years to slowly implement changes that led to my eventual happiness. I almost gave up so many times, but struggling through it makes me appreciate the life I have now even more. Every day, I wake up thankful to be living the life of my dreams.
Happiness has a different meaning for each of us. It's a state of mind, but the decisions we make can help create a fulfilled (or unfulfilled) life. Life is short. Start making these decisions now. You are the only thing standing between yourself and true happiness.
1. Don't settle for good enough.
Gratefulness is often confused with complacency. Being grateful for what you have is wonderful, but don't confuse that with fear of trying harder — taking a risk when you could achieve more. Good is just a pit stop on the journey to great. Life is too short to settle. Time is too precious.
2. Don't apologize for living the life you want.
As adults, we sometimes realize life has more to offer than what we grew up with. Then we feel guilty about wanting more. Our friends and family might think or say we're forgetting our roots, or getting too big for our britches. But as we get more confidence and experience, we realize that taking the risk, wanting more, and trying harder was all worth it.
Don’t apologize. When you try to enter a sphere that those close to you may not be able to enter or be comfortable with, you'll get pushback. Just know that this is an issue that they have to work through. It does not reflect on you, and should not affect your decisions.
3. Live each day as if it were your last.
So many of us spend our lives in anticipation of a tomorrow that never comes. You might be waiting to really start living until you retire, or until you meet the love of your life, or until you get that next big raise. But none of us is guaranteed a tomorrow. You could plan the perfect future and never see it. All we have is right now.
Being fully present is difficult. But it's also achievable. It doesn't necessarily mean traveling to Uruguay or bungee jumping on the weekends. It means you spend your time and energy on the things that contribute to the life you want.
Don’t let self-limiting beliefs force you into a decision that won't make you happy.
It’s surreal to be able to wake up every day and do what I love, writing with a view of the Maui ocean. For a long time, I let my doubt, my fear, and the negative voices of others keep me from realizing my potential and following my path. I don’t know what your ideal life looks like for you, but I do know every choice you make will bring you closer to it or send you further away. That's up to you.
What does a happy life look like for you?

5 things to say instead of 'sorry'

I recently came across a Pantene ad that went viral in June.
Besides highlighting the flawless and beautiful hair of the actresses, it features multiple situations where women unnecessarily say “sorry” — a verbal tic that, for many women, has become entrenched in everyday conversation.
In scene after scene of the ad, women are shown apologizing for a series of silly reasons.
It becomes clear the women should not be remorseful. Yet as I was watching, I had this horrifying epiphany — I do this. I do this all the time. I did this today.
So here’s a quick list of some common reasons women are quick to say “sorry” — and five things we could be saying instead!

1. To demonstrate compassion and empathy.

Many people, not just women, use “sorry” as shorthand for sympathy. While it’s both virtuous and smart to express compassion for your coworkers, apologizing for the random happenings of the universe is unnecessary and avoidable.
There are other ways to demonstrate understanding and to establish trusting relationships with colleagues. Arguably, this is one of the easiest ways to remove “sorry” from our vocabulary, because there are so many great alternatives!  
Instead of: “I’m sorry you were late because of terrible New York City traffic.”
Try: “How frustrating that you were late because of that awful traffic.”

2. To fill air.

Just like words such as “um,” “uh,” and “like,” “sorry” can fill empty conversational space. It might be because we are nervous or just babbling while our mouths catch up with our brains. Either way, in these cases, “sorry” loses its meaning entirely.
Instead of: “We need to … sorry ... first, get the correct data from Finance.”
Try: “We need to < Pause | Silence >, first, get the correct data from Finance.”

3. To interrupt.

Most girls are raised to be unfailingly polite at all times, especially at work. For this substitute to work, it is crucial to know your environment.
Depending on the organizational culture, the type of meeting you’re in, and the other individuals present, interrupting with an apology can lower your status, especially when others aren’t doing the same. Listen to how your coworkers preface their contributions in meetings — and avoid saying “sorry” unless they do.
Instead of: “I’m sorry to interrupt …”
Try: “Let me say/ask this...” OR “Great points, I would like to add …”
Instead of: “Sorry, do you have a minute?
Try: “Excuse/Pardon me…”

4. To keep the peace.

Most women are also taught from an early age to be warm, nurturing, and agreeable, and we sometimes use “sorry” simply to maintain social harmony. Apologies are sometimes employed to help “reset the conversation” after a confrontational, argumentative, or uncomfortable moment. However, “sorry” also represents shame and regret and can make you look weak.
Instead of: “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand this strategy switch.”
Try: “I appreciate your work on this, but I don’t understand the reasoning behind this strategy switch.”
Instead of: “I’m sorry if this is offensive…”
Try: “What I am about to say might be controversial…”

5. To say, and actually mean, sorry.

There are plenty of times when it’s appropriate to apologize at work. The key is not only to say “sorry,” but also to express why you are sorry. If you are a chronic over-apologizer, I guarantee that training yourself to include a reason will cut down on the number of times you apologize unnecessarily. A sincere apology is more effective coupled with the reason behind it.  
Consider the Pantene video. The man in the video shows up late and the two women scoot over to make room, apologizing repeatedly in the process. If they explained WHY they were sorry, it would go something like this: “I’m sorry that you were late to this meeting and I now need to move over, so you can squeeze into the space I was previously occupying.” (See? Totally unnecessary!)
Especially at work, it’s smart to figure out when it’s appropriate to say “I’m sorry” — and when you should say something else instead.

Success Is Never an Accident. It's a Choice.

Like everyone, I’ve made some pretty dumb decisions in my life. Early in my career I passed on a great job offer to go with a startup that ended up going nowhere. I later went head-to-head with a boss who just happened to be my CEO. Who do you think won that battle? I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t me.
Then there were all the money mistakes. I invested $20,000 in Boston Chicken right before it went bankrupt. And I doubled down on tech stocks thinking the dot-com bubble was done bursting. Turns out the market had a long, long way to go before bottoming out.
But then, I’ve been around a long time. Mostly I’ve made good decisions. That, I believe, is the reason why things turned out so well. Granted, there is a certain amount of randomness to life. But more than anything, success and happiness are all about making smart choices.  
While every accomplished executive or business leader can rattle off a string of improbable events that somehow led to their success, if they didn’t connect those random dots, none of it would have counted for beans. In other words, they also had to make lots of good decisions to make luck work for them over the long haul.
After graduating college with a worthless diploma I went back to school, got an engineering degree, and followed my gut into the then nascent high-tech industry. Then I learned the management ropes with the world’s top semiconductor company. And I joined two startups that ended up going public.
Come to think of it, every significant career and business opportunity that ever came my way was based entirely on a reputation and professional relationships I painstakingly built over the years. It was all about creating and capitalizing on opportunities, not to mention a ridiculous amount of hard work. There was nothing serendipitous about it.  
Society likes to use all sorts of labels to describe the good fortune of successful people. Some of them are positive, like making your own luck and being gifted, while others are derisive, as in being in the right place at the right time or growing up with privilege. But the truth is, with rare exception, it always comes down to making good choices.
What does that mean for you? Sadly, I think it means doing things that far too many of you are not doing.
It means spending your time on things that matter – focusing on the big picture and the long run instead of giving in to instant gratification. It means facing up to your responsibilities and holding yourself accountable. It means doing the right thing instead of following the path of least resistance. And it means living within your means.
It means being willing to step outside your comfort zone and face your darkest fears. It means putting your butt on the line and taking big risks when it would be so much easier to fall into a safety net. Mostly, it means not giving in to the status quo or popular groupthink and having the courage to carve your own path.
The truth is, it takes courage to do all those things. Discipline, perseverance, and a lot of hard work, too. That’s what bugs me about the euphemistic and cynical phraseology of good fortune. Granted, there is luck involved. But if you don’t also make smart choices, no good fortune will ever come of it.
Every day you make decisions that impact the outcome of your life. You choose what you say and don’t say. What you do and don’t do. How you behave and misbehave. Did it ever occur to you that every day of your life you make choices that dramatically and irrevocably alter how things turn out for you?
The question you should ask yourself is this: Are the choices I’m making today – right now – changing the outcome for better or worse? Don’t take that question lightly. Look in the mirror when you ask it. And when you answer, be completely honest with yourself.
The truth is, the right decisions are never the easy ones. They’re always the hard ones. But the hardest part is making those first right choices. After a while, that sort of decision-making becomes part of you. And that’s when you know you’re on the right path. When it gets easier to make hard choices.
Success is never an accident. It's a choice. 

5 Surprising Things Super Successful People Do


What separates the super successful from everyone else? There are well-known factors such as work ethic, passion, intelligence and grit. But there are also less obvious habits that allow certain individuals to separate themselves from the pack and become truly great at what they do.
Below are five common behaviors of the super successful.

1. They avoid decision fatigue.

Did you know willpower is a finite resource? It's true. It's like a gas tank.
In the morning, our gas tanks are full. But most of us wake up and immediately begin to make small decisions. Each one uses a small amount of willpower, burning some of the gas in our tanks and depleting our reserves for the rest of the day.
Super successful people recognize that by wasting their willpower on unimportant decisions, they have less fuel to make great decisions on the things that really matter in their lives and businesses.
This theory helps explain why Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg never strays from his uniform of a gray t-shirt and black hoodie and why Tim Ferriss eats the same thing for breakfast every day.

2. They’re not afraid to say no.

We've long been taught to seize every opportunity. We're supposed to say yes to everything that comes up, managing our own priorities while also being a team player. Counter-intuitively, it’s this can-do attitude that often holds us back.
As billionaire Warren Buffett said, "The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”
Every time you say no to a low-priority obligation, you free up time and energy to chase after what you really want.

3. They embrace boredom.

Super successful people generally have the resources to go on adventures, travel, try new things and learn new skills.
In the face of all this stimulating opportunity, many embrace boredom. Why? When it comes to business and personal development, they realize that growth is often the result of slow, incremental improvements.
Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps didn’t become the fastest swimmer in the world overnight. Instead, he embraced a rigid, repetitive series of pre-practice actions that primed his mind and body for success in the pool.
Mastering a skill typically requires sticking to a routine. Many successful athletes, artists, entrepreneurs and business leaders have embraced the boredom of repetition in order to master their crafts.

4. They don’t try to improve their weaknesses.

You know that annoying question you're often asked in job interviews?
It goes something like this: "What is your biggest weakness, and how have you tried to improve it?"
Most of us have an answer ready: we endeavour to be more focused, more patient, better verbal communicators etc.
Super successful people don’t think this way, however. They view improving their weaknesses as a fool's errand and instead focus on channeling their energies into areas where they naturally excel.
As author and researcher Tom Rath put it, "If you spend your life trying to be good at everything, you will never be great at anything.”

5. They wake up before the sun rises.

What do CEOs and entrepreneurial millionaires have in common? They wake up early.
Business leaders from Richard Branson to Margaret Thatcher and Howard Schultz report rising long before the sun does. While the majority of us are still snoozing, they’re meditating, exercising, engaging in creative work and generally getting a productive start to the day.
Looks like Ben Franklin was onto something when he said: "Early to bed and early to rise makes and man healthy, wealthy and wise."

10 Behaviors of Genuine People


Whether you’re building a business, a network, or friendships, you always want to look for people who are genuine. After all, nobody wants to work or hang out with a phony. On the flipside, that goes for you, as well. Bet you never considered that. 
In case you're wondering, genuine means actual, real, sincere, honest. Genuine people are more or less the same on the inside as their behavior is on the outside. Unfortunately, it's a tough quality to discern. The problem is that all human interactions are relative. They’re all a function of how we perceive each other through our own subjective lenses. 
Being genuine is also a rare quality. In a world full of phony fads, media hype, virtual personas, positive thinkers, and personal brands – where everyone wants what they don’t have, nobody’s content to be who they are, and, more importantly, nobody’s willing to admit to any of that – it’s becoming more and more rare all the time.  
To help you identify this rare breed -- in yourself, as well -- this is how genuine people behave. 
They don’t seek attention. They don’t need constant reinforcement of their own ego. Where attention seekers have a hole that constantly needs to be filled, genuine people are already filled with self-confidence and self-awareness.
They’re not concerned with being liked. The need to be liked is born of insecurity and narcissism. It creates a need to manipulate your own and other’s emotions. Confident and authentic people are simply themselves. If you like them, fine. If not, that’s fine, too.
They can tell when others are full of it. Perhaps naïve folks can be easily fooled, but genuine people are not naïve. They’re grounded in reality and that gives them a baseline from which they can tell when things don’t add up. There’s a big difference. 
They are comfortable in their own skin. In his late 70s, actor Leonard Nimoy said he was closer than ever to being as comfortable with himself as Spock appeared to be. Most of us struggle with that. As Henry David Thoreau observed, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
They do what they say and say what they mean. They don’t tend to overreach or exaggerate. They meet their commitments. And they don’t parse their words or sugar-coat the truth. If you need to hear it, they’ll tell you … even if it’s tough for them to say and for you to hear.
They don’t need a lot of stuff. When you’re comfortable with whom you are, you don’t need a lot of external stuff to be happy. You know where to find happiness – inside yourself, your loved ones, and your work. You find happiness in the simple things.
They’re not thin-skinned. They don’t take themselves too seriously so they don’t take offense when none is intended.
They’re not overly modest or boastful. Since they’re confident of their strengths, they don’t need to brag about them. Likewise, they don’t exhibit false modesty. Humility is a positive trait but it’s even better to just be straightforward.
They’re consistent. You might describe genuine people as being weighty, solid, or substantial. Since they know themselves well and are in touch with their genuine emotions, they’re more or less predictable ... in a good way.  
They practice what they preach. They’re not likely to advise people to do something they wouldn’t do themselves. After all, genuine people know they’re no better than anyone else so it’s not in their nature to be self-righteous.  
All those seemingly different behaviors have the same thing at their core: self-awareness that’s consistent with reality. Genuine people see themselves as others would if they were objective observers. There’s not a lot of processing, manipulating, or controlling going on between what’s in their head and what people see and hear.
Once you get to know them, genuine people turn out to be more or less consistent with the way they initially hold themselves out to be. What you see is what you get. It's sad that, in today's world, such a positive quality is at risk of becoming endangered. Not only is it harder to find in others, it's becoming harder to be genuine ourselves. 

Why You're Tired All The Time + How To Feel Better


Are you chronically tired for no reason? Do you feel rundown and overwhelmed? It could be adrenal fatigue.
Adrenal fatigue occurs when your adrenal glands cannot adequately meet the demands of stress. From the demands of work, to family obligations, to the hurried pace of the city and our technology-driven society, many of us feel like we’re under a constant siege of stress.
While the “fight or flight” stress response mobilized by the adrenal glands is a key to our survival as a species, prolonged stress, whether it’s physical, emotional, or psychological, exhausts the adrenal glands, leads to sleeplessness, irritability, and fatigue. When our adrenal glands are constantly required to pump out cortisol, they eventually become impaired. Your body does its best to compensate for under-functioning adrenal glands, but it comes at the price of your metabolism, heart and cardiovascular system, sex drive, and even your sleep.
Research has found that sleep disturbances are directly related to increased sensitivity to the arousal-producing stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol is excitatory, which means it arouses us, wakes us up, and leaves us primed for action long after the stressor is gone. Unfortunately, when we’re under prolonged periods of stress, our cortisol levels remain elevated and our adrenal glands, small pyramid-shaped glands that sit atop each kidney, never get a chance to recharge.
When we consistently don’t get a good night’s sleep, our circadian rhythm becomes disrupted. This negatively affects our serotonin and melatonin, hormones which govern appetite and mood. In other words, not only does stress keep us in an agitated state by agitating our cortisol levels, but it can lead to cravings, obesity, and blood sugar imbalances which have been shown to negatively impact mood.
While it may feel like you’re caught in a vicious cycle of stress, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition and mood swings, it’s possible to break free by incorporating these six tips in your daily routine:
1. Eat breakfast.
Make a point of eating a high-fiber, high-protein breakfast every morning to stabilize blood sugar and improve mental alertness.
2. Eat regularly.
It’s important to keep up the momentum after a nutritious breakfast. Skipping meals leads to irritability and mood swings because our mood rises and falls alongside the dips in our blood sugar. Try eating four or five small, well-balanced meals per day.
3. Ditch the junk.
Remove refined, highly-processed food from your diet. This includes sugary snacks, deep-fried food, processed lunch meats, and pre-packaged items with additives, preservatives, dyes, and flavouring agents. These food-like items rob your body of the nutrients it needs to support healthy adrenal function. Our adrenal glands thrive on zinc, manganese, vitamin C, and the B vitamins found in dark leafy greens.
4. Skip the stimulants.
Say goodbye to caffeine that leaves you feeling wired, yet tired! Propping yourself up with coffee, tea, soda, and energy drinks will inevitably lead to a crash. These unsustainable forms of energy over-stimulate your adrenal glands and they’re also unnecessary sources of sugar and calories.
5. Supplement with herbs.
Adaptogenic herbs like maca, ashwaganda, and rhodiola can help the body cope with stress and fatigue. For specific doses of these super supplements, consult your health care practitioner.
6. Wind down.
If you have a habit of watching the news before bed or mindlessly browsing the internet, consider a new routine. Unplug and opt for a relaxing bath or a series of yoga stretches to help your mind and body relax.

If You Want to Succeed, Here Are 5 Things You Need to Do Differently


No matter what your individual definition of success may be, finding it can often be a challenge. Whether its career success, monetary success or something in between, most people have a certain level of accomplishment that they want to reach in their lives. However, many fail to reach that magical level of success and have no idea why. The good news is, there are a few things that every person can do differently to change their current course of action and find the success that they deserve.
Below are five:

1. Stop looking for a perfect strategy

For the many people who take their quest for success seriously, they can get caught up in looking for a “perfect” strategy in reaching their goals. The truth is, there is never a perfect time to do anything, and there is no such thing as a perfect strategy. Many people fail to start “doing” the things they need to do, because they spend so much time planning. The only way to start a strategy is to get out there and take the first step. You can tweak and improve along the way but getting out and doing will be much more beneficial than spending all of your time trying to find the ideal strategy.

2. Stop seeing problems, start seeing opportunities

If you start looking at hurdles that come up as problems, you can put yourself in a negative mindset that will prevent you from finding success. If you instead start looking at these obstacles as opportunities, you can start finding more success. Take the challenge of approaching every problem and instantly calling it an opportunity. It can be hard to find opportunities in some problems, but if you look hard enough, there are positives even in the most overwhelming of issues.

3. Stop the information overload

Some people unfortunately find they spend too much time gathering information on how to succeed. When people do this too much, they can struggle with what is known as information overload. When you have too much information, you can suffer from paralysis by analysis and all of the research you have done can actually hurt instead of help. Nothing is as powerful as taking action and getting started.

4. Stop focusing so much on entertainment

While all people love to be entertained in a certain manner, society spends far too much time focusing on entertainment, instead of education. While you should always have your personal time outside of your professional life, many people spend too much time watching television, gossiping, playing video games and reading celebrity news. Doing this too much can prevent you from staying focused on your goals and your success. Spend your personal time entertaining yourself by consuming educational materials for personal growth. It will pay off in the long run and help you enjoy your personal time in a way that is still beneficial to your overall success.

5. Stop looking at the short term

Focusing on short-term accomplishments can actually get in your way when it comes to finding the substantial success you seek in life. This is something that many people struggle with, as there is nothing wrong with fulfilling short-term accomplishments but this shouldn’t be your focus. You should always be focusing on laying down a strong foundation for long-term growth. You can do this in a number of ways. Start looking at everything you do as a long -erm investment. Invest in your education, the future and do your best to ignore the appeal of instant gratification. This can take practice, but you can condition yourself to no longer find the same appeal in instant gratification.

5 Rules for Getting Along with Anyone, Anywhere




There are times when you want to lash out at someone who makes your life miserable. Perhaps a work colleague or your closest intimate partner is being, for lack of a better word, mean. You feel attacked, outraged, and misunderstood. Worse, you feel that you've hit a brick wall and are not being heard or taken seriously.
Italian psychologist Francesca D’Errico and philosopher Isabella Poggi (2014) use the term “acid communication” to refer to what happens when people who feel angered and mistreated restrain themselves from expressing how they truly feel. As they state, “The person who performs acid communication is feeling angry due to some feeling of injustice and would like to express one’s anger, but cannot do so due to a feeling of impotence, both to recover from the injustice undergone, and to prevent the negative consequences of one’s expression” (p. 663). We might call this passive aggressiveness: You want to say something negative but because you feel you can’t (for whatever reason), you release your anger in indirect ways.
The acid speaker, D’Errico and Poggi point out, uses irony, sarcasm, insinuation, and indirect criticism through their words and tone of voice to “project the image of a smart and brilliant person” (p. 664).  People can also use body language to accomplish the same goals through gestures, facial expressions, and movements of the head and body. We’ve all been guilty of this at some time or another: You feel attacked, don’t want to say anything, so instead you purse your lips or fold your arms, perhaps accompanied by an upward eye roll.
In a questionnaire study of 80 Italian young adults, D’Errico and Poggi identified:
  1. "Proactive” emotions among acid communicators as jealousy, envy, the desire for revenge, hate, and contempt.
  2. "Passive” emotions that included helplessness, bitterness, and resentment.
Participants stated that they were prompted toward acid communication when they thought the other person in the situation was behaving in the same way, was envious, wanted to make the other person feel guilty, or felt misunderstood. They reported feeling nervous, angry, and afraid to come out with their actual feelings or true response.
The acid person doesn’t seem to be received well by others. Adjectives that participants used to describe such individuals included irritable, grumpy, arrogant, surly, rude, not helpful, and snappy.
Being an acid communicator doesn’t get you anywhere with others. What’s perhaps even worse, it may even put you in a bad mood about yourself. The result of acid communication, the Italian researchers found, include feeling guilty, among other negative emotions regarding your own role in the interaction.
The best way to avoid being an acid communicator is to express yourself directly in an open and receptive way. Ironically, you may fear doing this because you’ll be perceived as overly critical or argumentative. To get out of this bind, you instead need to find a way to engage in fruitful dialogues. Taleb Khairallah, Roger Worthington, and Ali Mattu of the American Psychological Association of Graduate Students (APAGS) recently produced guidelines for people involved in “Difficult Dialogues.” With their permission, I’ve adapted 5 of these guidelines here:
1. Don’t dominate the dialogue.
A “dialogue” is not the same as a monologue. If you’re having a conversation, allow for sufficient give and take. As the APAGS authors suggest:
  • Be patient and give others a chance to express themselves. Some people are slower than others to join in the commentary. Whether with one other person or with 50, pause between your own sentences to allow others to collect their thoughts and put them into words.
  • Do not interrupt. This is one of the surest ways to infuriate conversation partners. Although some people make awkward pauses in their speech, and seem to go on too long, find a way to allow the conversation to flow.
  • Don’t make speeches. Just as you shouldn’t interrupt others, don’t make it impossible for people to comment on what you’re saying. Think of a conversation as a written log; if your comments would occupy an entire page at a time, then you need to provide some breaks in between paragraphs.
  • Frame your comments to allow opportunities for interaction. Using occasional questions—“What do you think?” “Does this make sense?”—and putting your views in the form of “I” statements will allow your conversation partners to feel invited to speak, and hence less likely to lash out.
2. Respect opinions.
Show that all viewpoints are important.
  • Listen to each other with respect and an open mind. Show that you are able to appreciate what others have to say rather than frowning or looking impatient when someone expresses something that you don't agree with. An open face will communicate an open mind.
  • Recognize that disagreement is okay. Not everyone has to have the same opinion, and by accepting that there are views divergent from your own, you allow your partner to express what she or he has to say.
  • All perspectives are valued. Stating explicitly that you value differing perspectives, and then acting as if you do, will reduce the chances of your appearing “acid” like.
3. Everyone is encouraged to participate.
This includes you.
  • Don’t allow your thoughts and opinions to go unheard. Just as you want to encourage others to speak up when they have a perspective to offer, don’t feel that you have to restrain yourself. If you stifle your opinions, they’ll only leak out later in an unproductive way.
  • It’s okay to change the subject. In the midst of a debate or dialogue, you may feel that an important topic is being overlooked. Explicitly stating why you want to change the subject will help prevent the perception by others that you’re simply barreling into the conversation.
4. Moderators are facilitators, not participants.
  • Keep things going rather than dominating the scene. If chosen to lead a group discussion, don’t take advantage of the situation by running the show. Pay attention to the flow of topics among participants and choose speakers in a fair and agreed-upon manner (such as an order of speakers raising their hands at a meeting).
  • Use your expertise when asked. It’s possible that you’re leading a group because you are the person charged with its smooth functioning. When someone requests your opinion or asks you for help, it’s okay to volunteer it, as long as you can do so without making others feel that they don’t know as much as you do.
5. Sometimes our best thinking comes after reflection.
Reflection helps bring psychological closure to a dialogue. Ask yourself the following questions after the conversation is over:
  • How has your thinking about an issue changed?
  • How has your thinking about other people’s views changed?
Being a good conversationalist is slightly different from being someone who can engage in dialogue. The kind of dialogue in which people feel valued, listened to, and respected is the kind that produces the greatest strides, and fulfilment in yourself and your dialogue partners.