Author and speaker Denis Waitley says there are six
behaviours that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence and spur your
motivation. Incorporate these habits to become a more confident person today.
1. Greet others with a smile and look
them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye
contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the
phone pleasantly whether at work or at home, and when placing a call, give your
name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your
name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.
2. Always show real appreciation for a
gift or compliment. Don’t downplay or sidestep expressions of
affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal
mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.
3. Don’t brag. It’s almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the
capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their
exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up
in the eyes of others—and that’s because they don’t already perceive themselves
as worthy of respect.
4. Don’t make your problems the
centre-piece of your conversation. Talk
positively about your life and the progress you’re trying to make. Be aware of
any negative thinking and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone—and this includes
self-criticism—find a way to be helpful instead of critical.
5. Respond to difficult times or
depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity.When your self-esteem is challenged, don’t sit around and fall victim to
“paralysis by analysis.” The late Malcolm Forbes said, “Vehicles in motion use
their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen to be a golf
cart, you can’t recharge your battery when you’re parked in the garage!”
6. Choose to see mistakes and
rejections as opportunities to learn. View a
misstep as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire
career. Refuse to see yourself as a failure, though you must own up to your
shortcomings. A failure may be something you have done—and it may even be something
you’ll have to do again on the way to success—but a failure is definitely not something you are.
Even if you’re at a point where you’re feeling very
negatively about yourself, be aware that you’re now ideally positioned to make
rapid and dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it’s honest and
insightful, takes much more courage and character than the self-delusions that
underlie arrogance and conceit. I’ve seen the truth of this proven many times
in my work with athletes. After an extremely poor performance, a team or an
individual athlete often does much better the next time out, especially when
the poor performance was so bad that there was simply no way to shirk
responsibility for it. Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent failure are in
no way permanent conditions unless we choose to make them so. On the contrary,
these undeniably painful experiences can be the solid foundation on which to
build future success.
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