Did you ever see the film East is East? It is a British Comedy-drama about the Khan family, set in Salford in 1971. The character that stood out for me was the youngest brother Sajid. Sajid is the shy brother who always wore a green Parka Coat. I too use to use hide inside a large thick multi-coloured coat with the green hood pulled up in all weathers. My sister's friends use to laugh at me, they could always see the hood just above the hedges, as I walked past their house to the shops.
So what was going on for me? I was incredibly shy, extremely self-conscious thinking everyone was looking at me, I had zero self-esteem and what I now realise was a certain level of social anxiety. That coat was my protection from what I perceived to be a hostile and dangerous world. What I didn't realise then, is that I was not alone. The royal college of psychiatrist's states 2% of men and 3% of women suffer from shyness. Others say the statistics are higher at 7% to 15% of people but this includes those at the milder end of the spectrum. To me, that is still a lot of people.
Society in general doesn't have a problem with shy people. Often, they find shy children cute. Shy people are generally not perceived as a threat and many find the quality attractive because it brings out the nurturing side in us, such as the "strong silent type". Unfortunately for the shy person the "silence" is our way of containing a range of intense feelings such as fear, anger, embarrassment, shame, anxiety, insecurity, self-hate and other vulnerabilities.
These feelings can lead us to withdraw from taking part in life, such as refusing to attend school, not applying for a job because we can't face the interview, never asking someone we find attractive out on a date, not pursuing the career of our dreams, because we take rejection so personally. It is no longer "cute" when we see the young child finding it emotionally painful to make friends at school. There are middle-aged adults that have never left home because they have been too shy and socially anxious to go out and connect with the world.
It is not easy to spot a shy adult because we have become the masters of disguise, or so we think. I built up such a good wall of defence that some people mistook my shyness for "aloofness" or "quietly confident". When I'm feeling particularly vulnerable I can come across outwardly as angry, when inside I just want to run away. Now we all have a socially acceptable device called the mobile phone, allowing us to hide away in public.
How to break free from shyness and live a fulfilling life? First, find out what you really love to do or what you are good at. For some people, sports could be the way to go. You might have to shop around to find the sport that suits you, it could be a team sport or simply running. What works for one person might not work for another so keep on trying. Your thing might be poetry or singing anything that gets your interest. For me it was Dance, I had a great teacher at school that could see that I really enjoyed the lessons and she told me about the Manchester Youth Dance Theatre, the freedom I felt while dancing changed my life.
I am still shy in some situations, it doesn't necessarily leave you completely. Part of breaking free is accepting your shyness without allowing it to hold you back from the things you really want to do.
Once I found my passion I was able to figuratively pull down the hood of my coat, I realised the world was not as scary as I thought. Gradually I was able to take the coat off completely and walked confidently into my future.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Break-Free-From-Shyness---Live-the-Life-You-Deserve&id=9898589
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