Dealing With Loved Ones Having a Drinking Problem

Alcohol is a highly addictive substance, which leads to consequences that are not limited to the alcoholics alone, but also affects the ones around them. Acknowledging the fact that a loved one has a drinking problem is a challenging task, giving rise to several unpleasant emotions, such as irritation, frustration, shame, anger and self-blame.

Many times, people ignore the reality of the deep-rooted problem and are often in a denial mode, which can cause more damage to the family members and the alcoholic.

Tracy is the daughter of an alcoholic mother. She hardly remembers her mother being sober. A few months ago, her mother was admitted to the emergency room on account of acute cirrhosis of the liver, a result of drinking 350 units of alcohol per week for 15 years. Thoughts ran wild in her mind about how she too was responsible for this day and was consumed by a sense of overwhelming guilt that she failed to recognize the danger signs ahead of time. In fact, she never bothered to deal with the problem, and showed her anger and ignored the reality.

Tracy was speechless when she overheard the doctors saying that chances of survival were bleak due to multiple organ failure. She wished if she had made an effort to address the whole situation in a positive way.

What to avoid while dealing with an alcoholic

Coping with a loved one's addiction to alcohol can be an emotional rollercoaster. It is normal to feel awkward, and somewhat embarrassed while speaking to someone close about his or her addiction. Just because the alcoholic happens to be someone close, there is no guarantee that he or she will wholeheartedly cooperate with the individual offering help. It is a general observation that alcoholics deny that they even have a problem, but patience and perseverance go a long way in tackling such worrisome situations.

As in the case of other people, alcoholics differ in terms of needs and the manner in which they respond to treatment. Many times, it becomes difficult to identify the real reasons of addiction, as well as a person's willingness to seek counseling and treatment. However, it is important to consider the following points while dealing with an alcoholic loved one:

• Preaching abstinence or threatening to punish only makes matters worse.
• Emotional appeals may heighten feelings of guilt and the urge to drink.
• Protecting alcoholics from the adverse outcomes of their behavior is not advisable.
• Hiding bottles or sheltering them from possible situations involving alcohol is not a viable solution.
• Heated arguments with someone high on alcohol are of no use.
• Giving alcoholics a company by joining them for a drink is a big mistake.
• Assuming responsibility for someone else's behavior may not help.
• Sobriety cannot be forced, as it is a matter of choice.
• One needs help and encouragement to stay sober.
• Recovery does not happen overnight, rather, it is an ongoing process.

Road to sobriety

Accepting a drinking problem can be unpleasant and stressful for the entire family, not just for the alcoholic. But there is no reason to feel ashamed. Alcohol addiction affects millions of families across social classes, races, religions and cultures. It takes patience, trust and support to be sober again.

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